Eat All the Foods, Lose All the Weight?

I was going to blog on Friday, but instead I went to the movies. I saw Zoolander 2 with a friend. It was hilarious. Neil deGrasse Tyson had a cameo. I squeed aloud, and I'm not embarrassed. If loving a velvet voiced astrophysicist with killer biceps is wrong, I don't want to be right.

1970s NdGT had mad sideburns.

Friday was my second follow-up with Kirk the Nutrition Guy. I was so fucking hungry waiting for that appointment. You can't eat 4 hours before going in or it messes up the BIA, and my appointment was at 10am. When you get up at 0600, 1000 seems like a looooooong wait.  I made up a breakfast to take with me this time because I didn't think I'd be able to focus on what he was saying without some food.

2c. berries, 2 yogurts, and chia seeds.

I annihilated this breakfast in about 10 minutes after my BIA. I kind of wish I'd brought more food. There was a time in my life when the idea of eating breakfast made me nauseated. I never, EVER ate before noon. I thought that was a good way to "save" calories...and I was the heaviest I've ever been during that period. Lesson learned, I guess.

So, my results for the last 2 weeks. I lost 7 pounds. Seven pounds. Eating 2000-2200 calories a day. I think. I don't know, I haven't done the math, but I eat all the damn time. I got on the scale and looked down and saw 158 and said "What the fuck is this? I'm not supposed to be losing weight! That's not the point of this! How is this even possible?" We only track 2 measurements (I kind of wish it was more, I should've measured my legs and arms) because they are the most indicative of overall health risk. Waist and hip and the ratio between them. I lost an inch from the waist and 3/4 inch from the hip in the last 2 weeks. 

According to my BIA my total body water was down from last week. I'm not sure how that happened, since I've been pounding water like crazy, but I suppose it could just be that I need more now as my metabolism seems to have awakened from it's long slumber. Body fat was down, so yay, and my intracellular/extracellular water balance has shifted to the point where my cells are well hydrated and that bloat-making extracellular water has gone away. So bloody hallelujah for that. This week my goal is to get 120oz of water every day. I was averaging 80-120 previously, but clearly that's not enough, so I'll try to do better.

Friday after my appointment I went to yoga, which I've missed a lot this week for other conflicts (I mean, sometimes you need to get your hair did, y'know?). It was good to get back on my mat and it was a great combination of stretching, core work, and balance. I need to continuously work on my balance. It helps so many other things. 

After yoga I went over to CF to do the initial set up for the Ice Bowl competition on Saturday. My trusty friend and sidekick Amanda was there to lend a hand, and we came up with a solution for all the clusterfucky switch outs and set-ups required of us as equipment managers.

Competition ready.

Then I spent some quality time at Aveda, followed by the aforementioned movie. It was a full day. I even managed to get to bed early so I could get up and obsess about equipment transitions at 5am on Saturday.

Stuffing my face and writing out a comprehensive

list of equipment for each competition lane.

I wore what I've come to think of as my Ice Bowl uniform. Last year I froze even in long sleeves. This year I was overly warm. Plus no one got to see my gunz. Or something. At one point I considered stripping down on the sidelines and losing the long sleeves...I mean, I was a rugby player, I've been mostly naked in public before, but at a CF competition there are waaaaay to many ridiculously hot people around to make that a good idea.

The cuffs of this shirt are permanently stained

from plates and bars.

I packed a bag of snacks this year, because last year I didn't eat at all and it was fucking miserable. I did much better Saturday. I had a pepper (which I ate like an apple on the sidelines at about 9am...watching people try to figure out the smell was really entertaining), some carrots and hummus, string cheese, cuties, a FitAID, and an emergency chocolate bar (which I never had to break out). I also actually got a couple of tacos from the volunteer lunch. Turns out the 7 minutes it takes to do a competition workout is a long ass time. Enough for peeing and the stuffing of faces (after a thorough hand washing.)

Candy went back in the cupboard for another day.

I only had to holler at random spectators a few times, which was an improvement from years past. There was so much space for spectators this year. I don't get why everyone needs to encroach on the equipment staging area. FFS, I have a LOT of shit to move in and out of this EXACT AREA in about 2 minutes. So GTFO. Luckily, I have a voice like a bullhorn and they cleared out pretty quickly when I started yelling.

In order to get this set up we had to move 16 boxes, 8 bars, 8 rowers, 

and about 100 plates. GET OUT OF MY WAY.

In all, we really had a great day. Everyone did so well. I had returning equipment crew and newbies as well and they all did a fantastic job. We do this competition like fucking pros. I am so proud to say that it never took us longer than 90 seconds to prep the floor between heats AND between divisions, and after each WOD we had the next one set up and ready to roll in well under 7 minutes. Equipment at the Ice Bowl is on point. And when the competition was over, the crew, the judges, and the other volunteers all descended on the floor to clear away everything in record time before the awards ceremony. It was impressive to watch. 

I helped clean up as much as I could while feeling the CFGB love, and then I took my exhausted self home and climbed into my jammies. Over the course of the more than 10 hours I was at the box yesterday, I sat down exactly once. My hands and forearms are insanely sore from gripping and carrying plates, but otherwise I'm none the worse for wear. Hooray. John K from Stuff I Like gave me a Progenex bar to try on my ride home. Peanut butter caramel crisp I think? It was kinda like a protein-y Whachamacallit. Ye gods, I love a Whachamacallit. No sucralose in it, either, which is nifty. It was good. Don't know that I'd eat them on the regular, but definitely tasty.

Team WOD today. Because where else would I want to be on Valentine's Day? Fantastic husband is at work, so I might as well.

This morning I made myself a nice big breakfast and chugged 2 glasses of water.

So hungry.

Then I made some HBE. I've been eating a lot of string cheese lately, not that that's a bad thing, but I've been running through it really fast so I though having another quick protein option would be good.

Steamy.

The I hacked up a big piece of salmon and bagged it up in portions with some grapeseed oil and spices. Lemon oil and lemon/rosemary seasoning. My favorite. It never gets old.

I bag in the fridge, 3 in the freezer.

I'm well on my way to a day full of checked boxes. So now I'm sitting with the dog enjoying my second cup of chocolate donut flavored coffee and watching a little mindless TV. After the Team WOD I'm planning to use my Valentine's Day present (a bathtub pillow) to do a little relaxing and reading while soaking my tired old body. 

Happy V-Day, bitches.

Looks cozy.

Later I have to build a catapult with the girl child for school. While Pinteresting "Catapults for Kids" which is apparently a thing, I ran across a pin entitled "Siege Engines for Kids". I find myself wondering if there's a lot of call for children to storm castles or fortified towns. We're going to stick with pencils and rubber bands for now.

I'm hoping for slightly warmer weather tomorrow, as I'd really like to get out for a long run and that's not happening today with a house full of kids. 8 miles on the treadmill? Kill me. Then yoga and crossfit and some squatting in the afternoon. Back to the normal of it all.

My next appointment at Nutritional Healing (there's the linky for all of you who've been asking me where I go for this) is 2/29. I'm focusing on checking all my boxes, getting all my water, and mindfully working on my fitness goals for the next 2 weeks. Maybe I can shave a little more real estate off my waist and create a little more on my backside. Squats get heavier over the next 2 weeks...building the machine.

Happy Valentine's Day, motherfuckers. Get some for me.

The safe word is "Oklahoma".

Obligatory Title

I haven't blogged for 10 days and that makes some people twitchy apparently. 

I didn't die, I didn't go off the rails, I just worked 8 days in a row and was kinda busy the other 2. It's cool. Life goes on.

I ate some stuff.

The usual plus bacon.

Red peppers and string cheese in a sports bra and shorts

after getting off the treadmill.

Fajita bowl.

Standard fish 'n veg.

I wore some stuff.

Brand spankin' new Romaleos. Nike lifters FTW.

These lifters? I knew they'd be better than my old Reeboks, but holy shit so much better. Like where-have-you-been-all-my-life better. Squatting like an angel better. Pardon my scarred shins.

Clearance pants.

Never worn teal pants before. These are some kind of compressiony bouncy pants from Lululemon. They're comfy, and I'll wear a god-awful color for $39 marked down from $118.

Today this happened.

Size 6 jeans, motherfuckers.

I haven't worn a 6 since...since...well, since I was about 26 years old. Right around the time I met fantastic husband. Yippeee!! I am no longer false advertising. Only took me 12 years and reconstructive surgery to get my body back. Easy peasy.

A few nights ago I was bored at work and found myself contemplating purchasing a few pairs of booty shorts. I buy dumb things at night pretty frequently. So here's one of the pairs I bought. This is what the CrossFitters wear, or so I hear. The bra is comfy and will be useful. The shorts? They fit? I mean...they're a little big but maybe won't be if I squat more? They're a medium...I can't grok needing a small. That's crazy.

I sincerely doubt these will see the light of day. I would need to discover a miracle cure for cellulite, spider veins, and vampire pale un-tannable legs. This outfit is made of NOPE. Nopenopenopenopenope nope. I have another style from UA that can be worn as underpants or shorts. They are more comfortable than these, but also shorter. I might wear them under a running dress, but as shorts...NOPE.  I learned something because of the UA shorts, but that will probably be the end of their usefulness. There is one other pair from Rogue on the way. Maybe those will be like Messiah pants or some shit, but at this point I'm still feeling the NOPE. Anyone want a couple of pairs of size Medium Reebok shorty shorts?

NOPE.

I squatted some stuff.

Pansy weights.

Knitted some stuff.

With beads!

Colored some stuff.

Isn't this the greatest cuss word?

I got my hair colored and futzed with. When you're hair is dark brunette you sort of have to go blond in stages or shit gets ugly.  The fun thing about this color? My red wasn't totally gone, so when we highlighted it I ended up with nifty pink-copper-orangey streaks mixed in with the blond and remaining brunette. I like it. It's quirky.

Please excuse my deepset wrinkles, crow's feet, and baggy eyes. I've been awake for 24 hours at the time of this picture. In the Costco gas station. Because I'm classy.

Not drastic yet, but hang on to your hat.

So I'm still awake and vaguely homicidal and then...we started working on Valentine's for school tomorrow. Cheap, shitty cards for everyone. Assembling these things makes me want to club a baby seal. Trying to poke a tiny tattoo into two teeny slots without dislodging the protective sheet?  Just kill me. At least then I could close my eyes.

At least they're all able to write their own names and the names of 

their classmates.

I made the kids dinner. I'll be listening to C read a book to me later. It will probably involve monkeys and dinosaurs and skunks, because they all totally shared the same evolutionary timeline. My first day off is always odd because I've already eaten 3 meals before breakfast. I've checked off all my boxes for today, so I can eat if I want to but I don't really have to. I also rested today, so no need to force feed myself.

Tomorrow I see the nutritionist for the second follow-up. I'm excited to see the results. I have no idea if my weight has changed. Don't care much, but it's cool to get all the metrics. I can't have caffeine in the morning, which is sad, but I'll live. Then yoga and maybe some squats before setting up for the Ice Bowl on Saturday at the box. We're going to run through a set up and tear down in order to get an idea of the most efficient way to transition. I'll be bringing a grocery bag full of food and absently chomping on a pepper while I wait for my moment to dart out onto the floor with an armload of plates. 

Gods I'm tired. Is it 8pm yet?

ARE YOU HAPPY NOW ASHLEY?

Do All the Exercises! Eat All the Things!

Since fantastic husband was off today I was able to get up early and head over to the box for 0515. I love working out before dawn. It's like it isn't really happening, or something. Your body forgets about it during the course of the day. I forgot how much I used to love watching the sun rise on the way home from the gym. It's gratifying to know you've accomplished something difficult before most people are awake.

The workout this morning was hard. Good hard, though. I don't know that I enjoyed it while it was going on, but I felt good about doing it. Got to see some of my favorite gym people, too, so that was a win. I think this might be the first WOD that I loaded a bar above my bodyweight for the workout. My max is well above my weight, but I don't usually put that much on for a workout. Lack of confidence I guess.

Before heading out at Oh-Dark-Thirty, I had a little bit to eat. Call it pre-breakfast. Ezekiel toast with sunbutter and a couple of clementines (coffee, duh).

Decent fuel.

I used my new gloves for the first time today. They worked extremely well. No tearing, no blisters. Perfect. Go ahead and call me a pansy, my hands aren't bleeding, and that's all I care about.  After the workout I did some GHDs (ever in pursuit of that 6-pack) and headed home to eat again.

No berries, 'cause I had fruit before the workout.

I annihilated this breakfast. I was so hungry. After eating fantastic husband and I went out for a slow 6. It was a perfect morning for a run. Since we had that stupid rain yesterday there was a slight sheen of ice and frost on everything. Road crews laid some salt and the sun was melting things a bit, but the footing was a little dicey in spots. Fortunately I was slated for an 11min/mile pace so it wasn't like I was biting into the pavement or anything. I even had one of those golden miles I love so much. Hit my stride, everything working together, effortlessly moving down the road...it's the best thing. The best. 

I got home with about 10 minutes to spare before needing to leave for yoga, so I snatched some food out of the fridge, grabbed a FitAID, and hopped in the car. 

Yellow pepper and string cheese.

I, uh, didn't have time to cut the pepper, but it's really fun to eat a pepper this way. Feels weird at first, but the side eye from other drivers is hilarious.

HULK SMASH FOOD IN FACE.

Got to yoga just on time and flopped down on my mat for some core work and stretching. I actually did all the vinyasas. Surprising since the WOD this morning involved 70 chest-to-bar pullups (I use bands, but whatever). We did a lot of wonderful hamstring stretching and spinal twists, which I desperately needed after deadlifting. 

Then I took my 3-workouts-sweaty self to Costco. In my robot leggings. And crunchy hair. People looked at me. I hope they couldn't smell me...I could smell myself and I was rank. At any rate I got the stuff I needed quickly and hustled out of there so I could eat again. And you know, bathe. I added a 1/2c of chickpeas to this mostly because I was supposed to have a legume and I didn't feel like eating hummus.

Leftover Pad Thai. Always better the second day.

Then I showered. It was bliss. Then back into round 2 of gym clothes.

I like this shirt. I wish it came in more colors.

I felt I earned a slutty cookie.

You're a dirty, dirty whore.

I read for a while, and knitted for a while.

I LOVE THIS SERIES.

This shit is going to take forever.

We went to retrieve the children. Then we got the mail. I got some clearance activewear (someone stop me, I have a sickness). AND THIS!

It fucking came! The Sweary Coloring Book!

Then I ate again.

Mango and seeds and shit.

Took the kids to the box for CrossFit Kids and since I had 30 minutes to kill I tried my hand at barbanging in the back of the gym. I did some squats. Pretty light, just trying to remember good form. I got a nice lecture on form from Grant, and I think I did okay. I at least realized when I started fucking up. It was a good way to spend the time while the kids were working out. Productive anyway.

Bit by bit, I will build the machine.

We came home to supper waiting. Leftover pork and half a sweet potato for me.

There was more, I started eating before I remembered to photograph.

And now I'm watching Jeopardy and picking at a bowl of berries.

Because that is how old people roll.

School was already called off for the morning. Which is fantastic because I have a gynecologist appointment and it's fun to take kids to the ladyparts doctor. As long as daycare stays open (pray for me if you do that, can't hurt) it'll be okay, but my yoga plans are totally blown. Sad, that.  Guess I'll just foam roll and stretch out on my own. If we only get 3 inches of snow I'm going to laugh...and then I'm going to write a letter to the superintendent. 

Something tells me I'll be asleep before 8:30pm.

Sunday Funday

I got to sleep past 7am this morning. That's pretty fucking great. Since I was a big girl and did my laundry yesterday I didn't have much to do today besides eat and work out.

I did renew my license plates. Without fantastic husband nagging me. Not to brag, but they don't expire until tomorrow, so I was totally ahead of the game. I consider plate renewal a kind of sport. Much like speeding. It's me against the man, with only my wits and his laser gun. I dodge, I hide, I tap the break and coast to the speed limit. I look non-descript so you don't notice my 2 years expired out of state plates.  Last year I made it until June before renewing, and then only because I had to cross a few states for a wedding and didn't want to get stopped by some FIB with an out of state fetish. And I may also have some unpaid tolls and parking tickets in Illinois. Or not. Definitely not.

Anyway, I did the grown-up thing. I also paid the mortgage. Who's sexy now?

Breakfast was oats n' stuff. I mixed in some protein powder just to get a protein serving in.

Berries n' almonds. Stuff.

I cast on a beaded shawl. That shit is going to be some delicate, painstaking work. I have 4 months to complete it. That might be pushing it.

I ate.

Uh, some orange stuff.

I ate some more.

Do you want to eat the Mango?

I was feeling a little Blerchy.

We went to the Team WOD. I was working the pirate angle pretty hard.

AAARRRR.

The Team WOD was actually 4 WODs stacked one on top of the other. So, um, tiredmaking. Also hungrymaking. I was fucking ravenous by the time we got home. So I ate...again. 

DON'T TALK TO ME WHILE I'M FEEDING.

I definitely earned a slutty cookie.

The dog? Did not.

I read a book and shot the breeze with fantastic husband, and then I went to yoga. It was a good flow tonight. Fast. Got my heart rate up and some really great deep stretching which I desperately needed. Then it was home for Paleo Pad Thai. 

This is my favorite favorite.

I missed a fruit serving, so I'm having a bowl of grapes. Then it's spawn washing time. I should probably shower myself. I'm pretty disgusting.

Crunch and delicious.

Early to bed so I can be up for the #fiveonefive, then a slow 6 with fantastic husband (provided the world isn't iced over in the morning) followed by hot core yoga.  I'm going to make use of the CF kids time by doing some squatting. It's an experiment. We'll see how it goes.

I was hungry for every meal and snack today (except the grapes, but it's kind of like dessert and who is every really hungry for dessert?) That's exciting stuff. My metabolism, it wakes. Look out.

I'm Hungry!

I'm hungry! I'm hungry! I want to shout if from the rooftops! JFC, that sounds incredibly stupid, doesn't it. This is big news, though! I was actually hungry for my scheduled meal like 3 times today!

Since we were going to the box for the free WOD at 0815, I set my alarm for 0615 figuring I could get up and have a cup of coffee before the spawn awoke.  Nope. I had company telling me he loved me and coughing in my face at about 0550. He's cute and he give good hugs, though, so I let him stay. They all decided they wanted cereal, so I made them get dressed (it's always a fight if I wait until after breakfast) and went downstairs to get the sugar-whoozits out of the cabinet for them and start prepping my own meal.

I had the usual, and I actually wanted to eat it.

I was so hungry. This was perfect.

We made it to CFGB with a little time to spare, so I got to shoot the breeze for a while when I should've been foam rolling. I tried out my clearance lulu pants. These are supposed to make you feel "held in". They are seamless, high waisted, and have compressive panels that are supposed to support muscles at strategic points. The fabric is fairly thick, and they are bouncy as fuck. I'm totally going to wear these things for squatting, and I'm really glad I got 2 pairs on clearance when I did. They're all gone now, unfortunately. $118 pants marked down to $39. So much win.  Also size 8. Just had to throw that in there.

Thick enough not to discolor from sweat.

It's a concern.

So we did all the things, I did some GHDs, then I loaded up the kids and came home. As they have no sense of time, they started asking for lunch. It was 0930. WTF. 

I was sort of hungry at that point (CRAZY I KNOW!), but I wasn't in the mood to do much prep so I made a protein shake. I've tried to avoid turning to "medical food" as it were during this process, since convenience food can be such a shitty trap to fall into. Bars, pills, shakes, drinks...they have their uses, but I feel really strongly that extensive supplementation isn't necessary for a low-level athlete like myself. I'm trying to learn to eat for fuel through this process, and just switching from Luna bars to Larabars isn't really the point. 

Anyway, this is a chocolate protein powder-almond milk-sunbutter-oatmeal shake. It was delicious and filling. Before 10am. Because that's when it's appropriate to drink a big ol' chocolate shake. Try explaining this bad boy to small children. "No really...it's not dessert...Mommy's in the window of gains"

WINDOW OF GAINS, BRAH!

I made lunch for the spawn and started in on my laundry. As I've mentioned before, I have a shitload of workout clothes. I haven't done laundry in about 2 weeks. That's a lot of scrubs and tech. I had three loads of sports bras and leggings and tank tops and scrubs. Good news is now all my favorite underpants are clean.

None of these things are underpants.

It wasn't until after 1pm that I was ready to start making lunch. Good news is I did want it. I spent a little time hacking apart a big filet of salmon from Costco and bagging 3-4 servings with lemon oil and seasonings. One bag in the fridge and 2 in the freezer. Should be good for a week or so. I hadn't had asparagus in a while, so I picked that up at Costco, too. Big pile here with some mango on the side. Baked in the toaster oven. I will never steam asparagus again. 

NOM.

I didn't want my snack, but I ate it anyway.

Roasted red pepper hummus.

The kids spent a large portion of the afternoon tramping around in the snow, so with luck they'll be unconscious quickly when bedtime draws near.  They worked the dog out pretty well, not that you can tell with a psychotic Vizsla. She's out back right now barking at gods-know-what.

Dinner tonight was leftovers. Kielbasa, corn, and pears for the kids, sub snap peas and half a sweet potato for me. Easy to toss together, and they love these kielbasas. Clean plates, happy mommy.

Lazy, yes.

Now I'm just sitting around, waiting for fantastic husband to come home. I'm trying to slow my roll on The Expanse series. I'm almost done with book 4, and book 5 is the last one currently published. I'm not ready to say good-bye to Jim Holden et al yet. The problem with being a fast reader...books are over far too quickly. I've decided to take on a couple of big knitting projects this year. A large beaded shawl that I want to finish before we leave for our anniversary trip so I can wear it over a dress and feel fancy pants, and a monthly "knit-a-long" blanket with yarn from one of my favorite dyers. Each month I get a skein and part of the pattern. At the end of the year I'll have an afghan. My sock club isn't running this year as the designer is going on an extended trip, so this will be my substitute. I'm looking forward to it. 

Yes. I read and knit for fun. I'm pretty much 90. Get off my lawn.

In a couple of hours I'll have a snack. What I've come to think of as my dessert. I might actually be hungry for it, and that would be exciting.  

Pritty.

Tomorrow we'll take the fam back to the box for the Team WOD at noon. These have been fun the last few times, so I'm looking forward to it. Monday I even get to go to the #fiveonefive which is exciting for me because it's been weeks since I've seen my early morning people. Also I'll have the time to do a little squatting afterwards, and I have a slow 6 that needs to happen at some point during the day. Getting the WOD out of the way early frees up a lot of time later. 

Hmmm...if I shoehorn that run in around 8am I can make yoga at 10 and be done for the day before noon. Here's hoping the weather gods are with me so I don't have to do 6 at 11min/mile on the fucking treader.

There's still a lot of slutty cookies in the kitchen. Seems like I may earn one tomorrow.