I Am Bummed.

Found out this week that the half marathon weekend that Jamie and I had been planning won't be going down as planned. He won't be able to do the race because school gets out too late on Friday for him to make the drive. I am sad. We did this race when I was 14 weeks pregnant with the boys, and went back last year and both PRed. I was hoping to make it an annual thing, but we're losing this year. I was so looking forward to it, too. 4 days away...just us (and our friends). Now it'll be just me (and our friends).

So my consolation? When he's done with school we're going to Vegas for a week. By then I should be lean and mean. I already know where I want to stay :)

I Did a Bad, Bad Thing

I bought $500 worth of cycling stuff.

I'm taking my road bike in for a "tune up" and a new set of tires. I am going to start bike commuting when my husband goes back to school, and I "needed" some new bike shorts, jerseys, etc. In my defense, I don't own any padded bike shorts, and if I'm going to be commuting 14 miles a day....well, I'll need the padding.

I'm kinda stoked about this. I have about 14lbs I'd like to drop in the next 3 - 4 months (I gained 5lbs from stress eating before my surgery), and 60ish miles of biking a week on top of my half marathon training schedule can't hurt. I'll be able to go back to eating normally again! Woo!
Bonus: Now that all my hanging bits are gone, I can really lean over the bike without banging my knees on my belly.

I plan to use swimming as cross training this winter, and all that cycling and running should put me in good enough shape to not want to crawl in a hole when people see me in a swimsuit.

So my dear husband is going to paramedic school starting August 19th. Our lives are about to get crazy. I'm sure he's going to do really well. He's a smart guy to begin with, and also very level headed. He's been an EMT for about 6 years now, and is itching to take that next step. His boss told him that if he fails pharmacology he's going to get a kick in the balls. (I'm a clinical pharmacist). I'm looking forward to helping him study and learning a few things myself.

On the child front, Lily (who will turn 4 on Saturday) managed to faceplant on our driveway and give herself a big blue knot on the bridge of her nose and road rash on her cheek. It's really awesome to take a bunch of banged up kids to the childcare center at the YMCA. "No, really, we don't beat them! I swear! She's just, um, clumsy! Yeah! Clumsy!" We got her a sandbox for her birthday. She's going to love it :)

I think the boys are getting teeth again because they are droooooooooooly and also craaaaaaaaabby. I can't wait until our fence is installed, the sandbox is filled, and the swingset is up. My ass is taking all those little jerks outside and letting them run wild until they collapse from exhaustion.

Incidentally, did you know that 2 fruit Newtons are ONE HUNDRED CALORIES?!?!?! I did not know that, and gave each of the boys about 6 of the damn things one night (which they greedily snarfed down and begged for more). That's 300 calories. That's a crazy lot for a 25lb kid.(Well...or a 160lb mommy. Not that I ate 6 of them. Or 10. Just sayin' is all.)

An Ode to my New/Old Running Shoes

O Mizuno
How beautiful is your Wave Nirvana 6
How sprightly the colors
How happy the midsole

Shining and new
You arrive from Amazon.com
So much better than your version 7 sibling
With your failure to clip-clop clip-clop

Where shall we go
O Wave Nirvana 6?
What roads shall we conquer together?
My feet encased in gleaming silver mesh?

How I loved your forerunner
My flaming orange Nirvanas
They served me well in snow and mud
Then, reborn, live on as recycled track

I shall love you
I shall help you meet your destiny
You shall help me meet mine
O Wave Nirvana 6

My Brilliant Idea!

So as I was scrambling around for something to feed my ravenous spawn, I had an (brilliant!) idea. Perhaps (just perhaps), if I planned ahead (brilliant!), I wouldn't be so desperate for meal ideas all the time (brilliant!).

Oh, in case you're not getting it, I am totally referencing that Guiness commercial (brilliant!) from a few years back (brilliant!).

Anyway, I was surfing around Amazon and considering my many (many, many) cookbooks when this (brilliant!) idea dawned on me: If I buy a dry erase calendar, I could (gasp!) write my meals down in advance. This amazing plan would not only allow me to make a grocery list (brilliant!), but also allow my husband and me to both see what the children (well, and us) had for dinner on any given night. Meaning? Less repeating, and more actual meals vs. tossed together hodgepodges (brilliant!). So now my kitchen houses a spankin' new dry erase calendar. I went through my (many, many) cookbooks and made a list of about 12 recipes to sprinkle throughout the month. We'll try to find favorites, and rotate new meals in every month.

I'm excited! Because my life is crazy boring!

While I was surfing around Amazon, I also ordered myself a new running journal. I love running journals. I have kept them since I started running (all those many long...or 4...years ago), and they make me happy. I can see my training taking shape and can track how I'm progressing. It's like a regular journal, without all those stupid feelings. If you know me, you know I don't do feelings.

I have decided to give Hal Higdon's Intermediate training plan a go. It will begin on 7/25 for my 10/15 half (I'd put it on my race schedule ticker thing if I could figure out how). I'll be cleared to run on 7/6 and will just try to reclaim my cardiovascular base for 3 weeks, then start. This schedule should allow me to begin a cycle of P90X at the same time, since it calls for strength training several days a week. I wrote the whole damn thing in my fresh new training journal and I am seriously itching to begin. All this forced inactivity is making my just bats. So far, I plan to to the Jerebek Challenge in August, and I need to find a 5K and a 10K in the fall to round out my training plan.

I couldn't be happier with my surgical results. The steristrips are coming off and the incision looks really good. I should be able to start doing scar treatments after seeing my doc on 7/6, so I'm hoping by next summer I'll be rocking a two piece without self-conciousness.

And also? Brilliant!

What's For Lunch?

I seriously ask this question every day. Not for myself, generally, because when I'm working I eat one of two lunches. Either a grilled chicken salad with lots of veggies and fat free ranch and buffalo sauce or turkey on a whole wheat croissant with lettuce, tomato, and dijon. Boring, right? Here's the thing. I loooooooove those two lunches. Love them. That's one reason I eat them every day. The other reason? I know their calorie content by heart, which takes the guesswork out of the weight loss thing. Variety is for supper, lunch is for happy comfortable food.

I ask the question every day for the kids. I hate getting meals ready for the kids. I am fine with repetition, but too much repetition for the kiddos equals bad eaters. They get tired of stuff and won't eat it anymore. Which I guess I understand. My husband can't fathom my daily turkey sandwich! Right now I know what's for lunch. Chicken helper. Exciting stuff. The boys will be up in about 40 minutes and I'll start cooking food from a box. Sigh. I wish I was more motivated to cook, but it is nearly impossible to cook anything with two 15 month old babies in the kitchen. They are everywhere at once. Can't use the oven, can't use the stovetop...little bodies and fingers everywhere! And the shreiking! As soon as they see food, they freak out. Freak out. They become like giant baby birds. Mouths open, they advance. It's a little frightening.

Then there is Lily. Lily who used to be a human garbage can, but now spends and hour and a half listlessly picking at her meal. It's more like an art project or science experiment for her. Poke the food, tear is apart, mash it into nothingness, dunk it in milk. It's a nightmare. Things she used to love are now unacceptable. She won't eat squash because "it's too orange". She won't eat sweet potatoes because (I'm not kidding) "they're too sweet potatoey". She has to be bribed to eat meat. Crazy. She'll eat snacks of all sorts, but meals? Excruciating. Sigh.

Since I'm home today, I have no idea what I'll eat. Maybe some chicken helper. Who knows.

Went for a 10K walk with a friend on Saturday, my first real exercise since surgery. I was sore afterwards, which is sad, but it felt great to be out in the fresh air and moving. Yesterday I did 30 minutes on the treadmill (walking) at the Y, and I plan to do that daily until I'm cleared to run (7/6!!). I've had a pretty easy recovery so far, a little swelling with activity, but that's normal. I'm hoping to have continued success. I'm trying to log my stuff with dailymile (as you see) but I can't figure out the website...can't seem to figure out how to get my races on the board. Frustrating.

Ok. Time to start lunch so I'm not cooking when the little monsters awake!

Plastic Psurgery is not for Psychos

I understand how people could become "addicted" to plastic surgery. Once you "fix" one thing, then another "flaw" rises to prominence and you feel the need to "fix" that as well. My surgeon asked me a lot of "Hmmm...are you a psycho?" type questions when I had my consult. You know the type...do you have realistic expectations, are you seeking a result that is physically impossible, that kind of thing.

I can assure you that I am done having procedures (barring some kind of disfiguring accident). I also realized that having this surgery has removed a nagging shadow from my mind. I didn't think my saggy belly was so present in my psyche, that I thought about it as much as I did...until I didn't. Sure, I think about my incision and keeping it clean and protected, but I don't think about my appearance related to it anymore.

The change is really amazing. My stupid belly isn't the first place my eyes go when I step out of the shower anymore. It isn't the first thing I think about when I'm getting dressed in the morning and the last thing I think about when I crawl into bed at night. That's a hell of a thing. Even when I stand and just let my belly "hang out" (not that I do that...every former fat girl knows you ALWAYS hold in your belly) it doesn't really "hang" anymore.

I'm really looking forward to this positive change in relation to my running self. There were days that I would put on and pull off three or four shirts because the way the waistband of my skirt hit made me look like I had front butt (you know, that saggy pooch that women get that looks like an ass on the front side) and a jelly roll above the band. Or it made my belly look like it stuck out farther than my boobs (wait...I guess it looked like that becuse it did that), or it was tight accross my squishy belly and loose over my chest (that is a HOT look, btw). No one should feel like a big fat freak before going out and running in public. That is not the way to build confidence. Add a Fuel Belt to that picture? Now we're talking sexy. I am so looking forward to the day when I can just pull on any old thing and go run. What an incredibly freeing moment that will be. Three weeks and counting!

So one of these days I will stop whining about myself and my psychological issues and talk about my kids more :) Here is a Lilyism to start us off:

Dear Husband: This is an orangutan, can you say "orangutan"?
Lily: Monkey.

Back to work.

First day back at work!

Having the drains out kicks a huge amount of ass. I can move around, wear regular clothes, and best of all? I don't look like I'm smuggling grenades! So glad to be back to my regular routine.

So my doc was all "If I pull these drains and you get a fluid collection, don't say I didn't warn you" with much wagging of fingers and tut-tutting. Today I had a post-op before my shift started and he said "Let's check for fluid since you coerced me into taking out those drains."

Guess what? No fluid. HA!.

Everything is looking good and healing well. When the steristrips start to let go, I've been cleared to just remove them as they loosen. I'm excited for that, because the damn things itch like crazy. I'm also happy because that means I'll look more like a person and less like an arts and crafts project.

The best thing I heard today? I am cleared for walking and light exercise, and after my next postop (in 3 weeks) I should be clear to run! YeeeeHaaaaaaw! Just in time to train for my next half. I'm sure I'll be painfully slow, but I'm excited anyway.

I'm hoping the new bras, underpants, and sportsbras I ordered are on my doorstep when I get home...can't wait to have new, non-ratty understuff.