Like the title? It's part of my New Year's Resolution.
I like to curse. Actually, I love to curse. Profanity is awesome. There are few things in life as satisfying as a well-deserved F-bomb.
Here's the problem: I have a boat load of little kids. They are rapidly becoming little parrots. I have to curtail the profanity, or I'm going to have one of those little CPS moments in the grocery store. You know the kind...when your kids yells "Mommy, don't hit me!!" even though you've never raised a hand to them? Or screams out "You are a BITCH!" when there are seven dozen grandmother's in pearl clutching distance?
How will I quit cursing, you ask? I have decided to insert the word "smurf" in place of the intended swear word. We practiced today at work. It was all kinds of hilarious. Try it. I'll wait.
See? Awesome.
So why "smurf" my life? Well I'll tell you.
A couple of weeks ago, my Dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Yep, that's the kind that killed Patrick Swayze and Steve Jobs. It is going to kill my father. Probably soon. He is stage IV, though the oncologist says stage IV does not adequately describe his situation...there is simply no classification beyond stage IV. He has opted for chemo to try and shrink the tumor and quell the metastases. It is largely pointless. It breaks my heart to see him trying to process that the end of his life is near. My Dad has always been a strong, decisive leader. He was a teacher turned school administrator, and just retired a couple of years ago after almost 40 years as an educator. He has always been proud of his ability to control any situation. He is a "fixer" personality (so am I), and being confronted with something that cannot be fixed is difficult. He feels weak and sick and helpless. I feel weak and helpless in the face of this.
Making things worse is the fact that my sister is stationed overseas. She is attempting to separate in order to come home and care for Dad in his final days. I am trying to do all I can, but I have a very young family and a full time job. I also live an hour away from my Dad. Fortunately, he has a wonderful girlfriend that is truly a gift. She was there for him at diagnosis when he couldn't tell us, his children, what was happening. She took him to his first chemo appointments, before I even knew he was sick. My plan is to visit a couple of times a week, take food that he might find appealing (pancreatic cancer steals your appetite, starting pretty early on), do laundry, run errands, and clean his house. I also want to provide a distraction...it can't be fun to do nothing but sit and contemplate your mortality. I made a batch of his favorite Christmas cookies, and I hope he will want to eat them. It was therapeutic for me to make them.
Please visit www.pancan.org and raise your awareness of this insidious disease. Did you know that November is Pancreatic Cancer Awareness Month? Neither did I until I was made horribly, tragically aware of it. It is also Lung Cancer Awareness Month.
Boobs get a whole month all to themselves, and an avalanche of pink friggin' everything. October practically shrieks "BREAST CANCER!!! BE AWARE!! ARE YOU AWARE!!! OF BREAST CANCER!!!! HALF THE POPULATION HAS BREASTS!!!! BE AWARE!!!". PanCan has to share a month with lung cancer. Guess how many people I've run into that know November is PanCan month? Zero. Including the staff in the cancer center.
You know what? Everybody has a smurfing pancreas. EVERYBODY. Have you seen the statistics on pancreatic cancer? They are barbaric. 80% of patients do not survive to a year beyond diagnosis. At five years survival is something like 2%. That is pathetic. Basically, if you're not a candidate for a Whipple procedure, you're toast. And a Whipple? That is complicated, dangerous surgery. The recommendation is not to have the procedure at a hospital that does less than 5 of them a year. It is THAT INVOLVED. The result of surgery, even if you come out totally unscathed and free of cancer is instant diabetes. Would I rather be diabetic than dead? Yes, but what other cancer treatment results in another debilitating disease? It's madness.
Please go to the website and learn the signs. My Dad turned 65 nine days ago, a week after being given a death sentence. Sixty-five is not old. It is not the end of a lifetime, or shouldn't be. It happens accross age spectrums.
Know It. Fight It. End It.
In further smurf my life topics, my twins spent all of Thanksgiving weekend barfing their little guts out. There are few things sadder than barfing babies. Unless one of those things is one of those babies barfing his little guts out all over the back of your car when you are alone and over an hour from home after spending the day with your dying father and increasingly frail 94 year old grandmother.
That is way sadder.
That is something that makes Mommy lose her smurf and call Daddy at work and sob to him that she just doesn't have the emotional fortitude to deal with the current situation and he needs to come home immediately and keep Mommy from jumping off the roof and yes she knows that it's a holiday and that will leave work short and she doesn't care.
But he did come home. Because he is awesome like that.
Ok. Not everything in my life is smurfed. Some things are actually fun and exciting (or at least, the anticipation is fun and exciting). I promise my next post will be less doom and more fun.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Mommy is all Crazy Pants
Whew...one blog a month. I'm exhausted.
My lovely children continue to grow and flourish in spite of my lackadaisical parenting skills, which is wonderful. They have been (knock wood) quite healthy this year aside from the occaisional sniffles. The twins are fat and sassy, saying new words every day. They are all about looking in the mirror and talking to the "other baby". I'm pretty sure that when each one looks in the mirror he identifies his own reflection as his brother.
Lily adores 4K and asks every morning "Do I have 4K today?!?". Friday is her least favorite day because there's no 4K on Fridays. I'm so glad she likes school, it makes everything easier.
Now. For the Crazy Pants:
I have decided to run a marathon. Specifically the Cellcom Green Bay Marathon on 5/20/12. My training starts January 1! I'm intimidated and excited all at the same time. I'm doing Insanity right now (which is "bananas, yo" in the words of Shaun T), and am thinking it will make me a faster runner. Lots of plyo for speed :)
My friend Laura is debating signing up as well. I'm not counting on training with her, though. She's not an all-weather kind of runner, and will likely be treadmilling it for the most part. Me? I LOVE winter training. LOVE IT.
So there it is. In print. I'm going to run a marathon. Along with a couple of 5Ks and half marathons in my training schedule.
May the force (or the Schwartz) be with me...
My lovely children continue to grow and flourish in spite of my lackadaisical parenting skills, which is wonderful. They have been (knock wood) quite healthy this year aside from the occaisional sniffles. The twins are fat and sassy, saying new words every day. They are all about looking in the mirror and talking to the "other baby". I'm pretty sure that when each one looks in the mirror he identifies his own reflection as his brother.
Lily adores 4K and asks every morning "Do I have 4K today?!?". Friday is her least favorite day because there's no 4K on Fridays. I'm so glad she likes school, it makes everything easier.
Now. For the Crazy Pants:
I have decided to run a marathon. Specifically the Cellcom Green Bay Marathon on 5/20/12. My training starts January 1! I'm intimidated and excited all at the same time. I'm doing Insanity right now (which is "bananas, yo" in the words of Shaun T), and am thinking it will make me a faster runner. Lots of plyo for speed :)
My friend Laura is debating signing up as well. I'm not counting on training with her, though. She's not an all-weather kind of runner, and will likely be treadmilling it for the most part. Me? I LOVE winter training. LOVE IT.
So there it is. In print. I'm going to run a marathon. Along with a couple of 5Ks and half marathons in my training schedule.
May the force (or the Schwartz) be with me...
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Running in the N.E.W
This morning was the perfect run. I went long, and not fast at all. It was civil twilight when I left the house, and the sun rose into a clear blue sky. It lit the trees into firey shades of orange, red, and gold.
If you know me, you know I'm a cold weather runner. You can have those hideous sweatfests that are August runs, I'll take a 35 degree morning any day of the week. This is my perfect time of year. No snow, no ice, just frost and my breath in the air. A pair of cheap gloves, a smart-alecky hat, and I'm on my way.
There is something wonderful about Northeastern Wisconsin. In the spring and summer it is 1,000 shades of green, like no place else in this country (and I've lived all over it). But autumn? Autumn is special. In September and October, northeast Wisconsin explodes into a rainbow of color. The farm fields turn golden, and then are tilled under, releasing the smell of fresh earth. The trees begin changing with little peeks of color, and then WHAM! It's a crazy collage of beauty, with little brick churches, red barns, and deer dotting the landscape. This morning the visual beauty was heightened for me by the smell of woodsmoke and damp leaves. As I turned downhill by the little brick church in my neighborhood, fields bordered by trees spread out before me, terminating in the sparkling water of Green Bay.
Today I feel lucky to be alive and a runner in this place. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face...and over 12.42 miles, that's a lot of smiling.
One of these days I'm going to photograph my favorite routes and post them. One of these days...
If you know me, you know I'm a cold weather runner. You can have those hideous sweatfests that are August runs, I'll take a 35 degree morning any day of the week. This is my perfect time of year. No snow, no ice, just frost and my breath in the air. A pair of cheap gloves, a smart-alecky hat, and I'm on my way.
There is something wonderful about Northeastern Wisconsin. In the spring and summer it is 1,000 shades of green, like no place else in this country (and I've lived all over it). But autumn? Autumn is special. In September and October, northeast Wisconsin explodes into a rainbow of color. The farm fields turn golden, and then are tilled under, releasing the smell of fresh earth. The trees begin changing with little peeks of color, and then WHAM! It's a crazy collage of beauty, with little brick churches, red barns, and deer dotting the landscape. This morning the visual beauty was heightened for me by the smell of woodsmoke and damp leaves. As I turned downhill by the little brick church in my neighborhood, fields bordered by trees spread out before me, terminating in the sparkling water of Green Bay.
Today I feel lucky to be alive and a runner in this place. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face...and over 12.42 miles, that's a lot of smiling.
One of these days I'm going to photograph my favorite routes and post them. One of these days...
Monday, September 26, 2011
A Pissy PR.
So after a week of zero athletic effort, I set out to PR in the 5K on Saturday morning at the Eastbay Rib Mountain Half-Marathon/5K for Special Olympics.
It was a very foggy, miserable kind of morning. I was a little worried we were going to be stuck in a rainstorm (my dear husband was doing the half), but the sky cleared and it was a beautiful 47ish degrees at the start. The sun even came out and lit up the trees on the side of Rib as we crossed the bridge. It was lovely.
I should preface this by saying that typically I'm a 10-min-mile kind of a girl. My previous 5K PR was 30:20. I have also never barfed due to exercise. Ever. Never ever.
This was the first running of this race, so it was lightly attended. About 175 half-marathoners and about 180 5K run/walkers. There was no chip for the 5K, so my time is the one from my Garmin.
We were off right on time, and I was feeling pretty good. I started passing people and thought "Huh. That's odd. I don't pass people."
But it kept happening.
The course is flatish, straight, and out-and-back, so you can see everyone ahead of you. I kept gaining and gaining. It was weird. My GPS chirped. My mile split...8:50.
WTF? I do NOT run sub-9s.
So I kept on, still feeling good...pretty scenery. I see the leader coming back, but I can also actually see the turnaround at the same time. A novel experience. I blow by the water station (really, do you need water on a 3 mile run when it's 45 degrees? mais non) and am thinking "Holy crap. Still passing people and I can see the park we came from!"
Chirp. 8:40.....whaaaaaaa?
At the mile 2 marker, I started to feel like I was going to barf. Like really going to barf. This had never happened on a run (Never. Never ever.). I slowed to a walk for about 30 seconds. Then I thought to myself "NO. You will NOT just STOP. You will finish running, you pansy ass."
So I picked it up and kept on, somewhat slower.
Finishing time? 29:30. Finishing distance 3.2 miles. The course was long. Bastards.
I could have finished sub-27 if I hadn't blown up at mile 2. I was so NOT expecting that to happen. I might have been sub-29 if the course had not been long. So these are my pissy things about my PR. Still, it's a PR and I proved that I really can run faster than previously thought.
My husband? 2:10, and he walked most of the last 2 miles because his knee went "NO. NO! NONONONONONONONONONONONO!!!!!" at about mile 11.5. Jackass.
A few things about the race:
1. The start/finish is in a very nice park in Wausau. Plenty of parking.
2. The course is really beautiful. Especially at this time of year. The last little bit is on a windy train through the park, which was neat. Watching the finishers come in through the trees was kind of cool. Good police presence on the roads near the park, and the traffic lane on one side of the road was blocked off for us. I believe the course was open to traffic on Rib, but don't quote me on that.
3. Starbucks, Eastbay, GU, Subway, and Qdoba were sponsors. What does this mean?
a. Free (awesome!) coffee/tea at the start and finish
b. High quality finishers shirt (cotton for 5K and tech for half)
c. Free GU (and not a crappy flavor!) in your goody bag.
d. Free Spenco slides and insoles,queso and chips, and sandwiches at the finish
4. The had the Spicy Tie band! Those guys are awesome!
5. There were a number of Special O athletes giving high fives at the finish. I think that's great.
I don't have anything really negative to say about the experience aside from the course being a tad long. It's not like I was trying to qualify for anything, though, so it doesn't really matter. My husband is on the state Special O committee, so he knows the organizers. We suggested porta-johns and garbage cans nearer to the start. It was kind of a hike to go pee before the start, and I had nowhere to toss my water bottle when the start buzzer went off.
Put this one on your calendars for next year, people. I think I'll do the half next year. It'll be a nice tune up for the Whistlestop Marathon!
It was a very foggy, miserable kind of morning. I was a little worried we were going to be stuck in a rainstorm (my dear husband was doing the half), but the sky cleared and it was a beautiful 47ish degrees at the start. The sun even came out and lit up the trees on the side of Rib as we crossed the bridge. It was lovely.
I should preface this by saying that typically I'm a 10-min-mile kind of a girl. My previous 5K PR was 30:20. I have also never barfed due to exercise. Ever. Never ever.
This was the first running of this race, so it was lightly attended. About 175 half-marathoners and about 180 5K run/walkers. There was no chip for the 5K, so my time is the one from my Garmin.
We were off right on time, and I was feeling pretty good. I started passing people and thought "Huh. That's odd. I don't pass people."
But it kept happening.
The course is flatish, straight, and out-and-back, so you can see everyone ahead of you. I kept gaining and gaining. It was weird. My GPS chirped. My mile split...8:50.
WTF? I do NOT run sub-9s.
So I kept on, still feeling good...pretty scenery. I see the leader coming back, but I can also actually see the turnaround at the same time. A novel experience. I blow by the water station (really, do you need water on a 3 mile run when it's 45 degrees? mais non) and am thinking "Holy crap. Still passing people and I can see the park we came from!"
Chirp. 8:40.....whaaaaaaa?
At the mile 2 marker, I started to feel like I was going to barf. Like really going to barf. This had never happened on a run (Never. Never ever.). I slowed to a walk for about 30 seconds. Then I thought to myself "NO. You will NOT just STOP. You will finish running, you pansy ass."
So I picked it up and kept on, somewhat slower.
Finishing time? 29:30. Finishing distance 3.2 miles. The course was long. Bastards.
I could have finished sub-27 if I hadn't blown up at mile 2. I was so NOT expecting that to happen. I might have been sub-29 if the course had not been long. So these are my pissy things about my PR. Still, it's a PR and I proved that I really can run faster than previously thought.
My husband? 2:10, and he walked most of the last 2 miles because his knee went "NO. NO! NONONONONONONONONONONONO!!!!!" at about mile 11.5. Jackass.
A few things about the race:
1. The start/finish is in a very nice park in Wausau. Plenty of parking.
2. The course is really beautiful. Especially at this time of year. The last little bit is on a windy train through the park, which was neat. Watching the finishers come in through the trees was kind of cool. Good police presence on the roads near the park, and the traffic lane on one side of the road was blocked off for us. I believe the course was open to traffic on Rib, but don't quote me on that.
3. Starbucks, Eastbay, GU, Subway, and Qdoba were sponsors. What does this mean?
a. Free (awesome!) coffee/tea at the start and finish
b. High quality finishers shirt (cotton for 5K and tech for half)
c. Free GU (and not a crappy flavor!) in your goody bag.
d. Free Spenco slides and insoles,queso and chips, and sandwiches at the finish
4. The had the Spicy Tie band! Those guys are awesome!
5. There were a number of Special O athletes giving high fives at the finish. I think that's great.
I don't have anything really negative to say about the experience aside from the course being a tad long. It's not like I was trying to qualify for anything, though, so it doesn't really matter. My husband is on the state Special O committee, so he knows the organizers. We suggested porta-johns and garbage cans nearer to the start. It was kind of a hike to go pee before the start, and I had nowhere to toss my water bottle when the start buzzer went off.
Put this one on your calendars for next year, people. I think I'll do the half next year. It'll be a nice tune up for the Whistlestop Marathon!
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Good-Bye, My Friend
On Saturday evening, my friend Nicki was thrown from her motorcycle after a freak encounter with a bird. She died on Sunday, after giving the gift of life and healing to countless people as an organ donor. She never wore a helmet, and fully understood the implications of that choice.
She was 32.
She leaves behind a husband and son that loved her very much. It was obvious how much she loved them, too. Her workstation at the hospital was covered with pictures of her family, including a calendar made special with her son's face.
Nicki was one of the most vibrant people I have ever known. She lived every moment of her life to it's fullest. She was perpetually smiling and laughing. Her laugh was amazing. Full throated, head thrown back, total abandon. She loved to party, hang out with her friends and family, and most of all? Ride her motorcycle. She loved that bike. She worked two jobs to get it, and she rode it whenever she could. She dreamt of Harley Davidson tattoos...hell, she even married a man named Harley.
It gives me some comfort to know she left this life doing something she loved, riding down the road with someone she loved. Live fast...die young...and leave a good-looking corpse.
I will always miss her. But even though I'm crying today, I know that in the future when this grief has dulled....I'll think of Nicki, and I'll smile.
RIP Nicki. We all love you.
She was 32.
She leaves behind a husband and son that loved her very much. It was obvious how much she loved them, too. Her workstation at the hospital was covered with pictures of her family, including a calendar made special with her son's face.
Nicki was one of the most vibrant people I have ever known. She lived every moment of her life to it's fullest. She was perpetually smiling and laughing. Her laugh was amazing. Full throated, head thrown back, total abandon. She loved to party, hang out with her friends and family, and most of all? Ride her motorcycle. She loved that bike. She worked two jobs to get it, and she rode it whenever she could. She dreamt of Harley Davidson tattoos...hell, she even married a man named Harley.
It gives me some comfort to know she left this life doing something she loved, riding down the road with someone she loved. Live fast...die young...and leave a good-looking corpse.
I will always miss her. But even though I'm crying today, I know that in the future when this grief has dulled....I'll think of Nicki, and I'll smile.
RIP Nicki. We all love you.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
You'll Never Know if You Don't Tri
So I did a triathlon on Saturday. Yeah. It rained the whole time, which isn't that big of a deal (you know, with that whole swimming in the water thing), but it makes for a lot of wet, dirty gear.
The pros:
1. It's something different, for when you're burned out with always running, running, running.
2. It encourages more well rounded fitness (swimming is hard, yo).
The cons:
1. You need a crapload of stuff to do a tri. Bike, swimsuit/wetsuit/trisuit, bike shoes, running shoes, optional socks or quicklaces, swim cap, goggles, towels, gels, bike helmet, bike tools and spares, gear bag.
2. It's so complicated. You have to think about each stage and it's unique fueling/hydrating needs.
3. If you're really going to train, you're looking at a major time commitment.
4. Swimming in open water with 20 other people? Yeah. It sucks.
5. Biking with no clear destination gets a little boring, and that much time on a bike? Hurts your va-jay-jay.
6. I can't express the amount of dirt that was in all my gear. I know some of that has to do with the rain and the transition area, but holy moly was my stuff dirty.
Bottom line: I'm glad I did it, but I have no desire to do it again. I might to the Cloverleaf Lakes Tri again, just because I'm sort of from there and my friends do it. I will never, never sign up for a larger tri. Tri people are nuts. They are SO focused and obsessed with being tri people...it's really intimidating. I know people feel that way about runners and racing, but I've always found the running community to be really welcoming and friendly. Not that the tri people were unfriendly, plenty of them were nice, but I could sense their irritation with the newbies when we were in the water. I exercise to clear my head, but the tri just cluttered my brain with logistical nightmares. Not very relaxing!
My 9 miler on Monday, though? It was awesome beyond belief. It was 45 glorious degrees at sunrise and I felt great. First mile was almost 12min, but it's up a huge hill and I wasn't warmed up. I ran every mile faster than the one before, culminating in an 8:47. The last half of my run was all sub-10s. I was so happy. At the end of it I felt centered and happy...uplifted. At the end of the tri I just felt....wet.
Ok. I just got off a third shift and I'm fading fast. Gotta get some sleep, and maybe a little hiking/walking later!
The pros:
1. It's something different, for when you're burned out with always running, running, running.
2. It encourages more well rounded fitness (swimming is hard, yo).
The cons:
1. You need a crapload of stuff to do a tri. Bike, swimsuit/wetsuit/trisuit, bike shoes, running shoes, optional socks or quicklaces, swim cap, goggles, towels, gels, bike helmet, bike tools and spares, gear bag.
2. It's so complicated. You have to think about each stage and it's unique fueling/hydrating needs.
3. If you're really going to train, you're looking at a major time commitment.
4. Swimming in open water with 20 other people? Yeah. It sucks.
5. Biking with no clear destination gets a little boring, and that much time on a bike? Hurts your va-jay-jay.
6. I can't express the amount of dirt that was in all my gear. I know some of that has to do with the rain and the transition area, but holy moly was my stuff dirty.
Bottom line: I'm glad I did it, but I have no desire to do it again. I might to the Cloverleaf Lakes Tri again, just because I'm sort of from there and my friends do it. I will never, never sign up for a larger tri. Tri people are nuts. They are SO focused and obsessed with being tri people...it's really intimidating. I know people feel that way about runners and racing, but I've always found the running community to be really welcoming and friendly. Not that the tri people were unfriendly, plenty of them were nice, but I could sense their irritation with the newbies when we were in the water. I exercise to clear my head, but the tri just cluttered my brain with logistical nightmares. Not very relaxing!
My 9 miler on Monday, though? It was awesome beyond belief. It was 45 glorious degrees at sunrise and I felt great. First mile was almost 12min, but it's up a huge hill and I wasn't warmed up. I ran every mile faster than the one before, culminating in an 8:47. The last half of my run was all sub-10s. I was so happy. At the end of it I felt centered and happy...uplifted. At the end of the tri I just felt....wet.
Ok. I just got off a third shift and I'm fading fast. Gotta get some sleep, and maybe a little hiking/walking later!
Monday, August 22, 2011
Seven is My Lucky Number (I Guess)
Went out for a 7 miler on Sunday. It was about 60, sunny, with a slight cool breeze. I tried a new route that the hubs suggested, and Voila! A happy run.
It's about friggin' time.
I was really worried that I was going to overheat, just based on the intensity of the sun. It was seriously the loveliest run I've had in....well....about 3 months. I averaged 10:30s, which is all I really wanted, and I felt strong the whole time. I really needed a "win" on Sunday, and I got it.
Soooo....next weekend is training with my friend Joanne. An 8 mile run, and a 20ish mile bike. Why, you may ask?
Because I am signed up to do a triathlon on 9/3. What the hell was I thinking. Oh yeah...I was thinking about the race shirt.
Damn race shirts get me every time. (I love the race shirts)
It's a little creepy, actually.
It's about friggin' time.
I was really worried that I was going to overheat, just based on the intensity of the sun. It was seriously the loveliest run I've had in....well....about 3 months. I averaged 10:30s, which is all I really wanted, and I felt strong the whole time. I really needed a "win" on Sunday, and I got it.
Soooo....next weekend is training with my friend Joanne. An 8 mile run, and a 20ish mile bike. Why, you may ask?
Because I am signed up to do a triathlon on 9/3. What the hell was I thinking. Oh yeah...I was thinking about the race shirt.
Damn race shirts get me every time. (I love the race shirts)
It's a little creepy, actually.
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