Sunday, June 24, 2012

I Came. I Saw. I Marathoned.

The inaugural HFM Maritime Marathon is run and done!  I finished!  I'm officially a marathoner!

A super slow marathoner, but a marathoner none the less.  I finished in 5:3?:??  I think?  I wasn't looking at the finish clock, just the finish line, and my Garmin is a dirty whore, so I don't really know.

What I do know is that I was not DFL.  Praise Cheeses.

This event was a marathon only.  There are plans for a half next year, but this year was just the full and a relay.  There were something like 400 runners among all the events (2-person relay, 4-person, and solo), so the start line was pretty sparse compared to the Cellcom.

The fire truck was pretty damn cool.

Before we set off, the mayor of Two Rivers, the mayor of Manitowoc, the CEO of Holy Family Memorial, and one of the race organizers gave us a pep talk (and a priest or something).  They all seemed pretty excited at the turnout.  I guess they originally expected around 100 people total to do this thing, so having 4 times that much was pretty great.  A race participant sang the anthem!

Packet pick-up was at the Maritime museum, which was nifty.

At this point I was still all confident and excited and stuff.

The guys at the pick-up were crazy nice.  One even offered to take this picture with me in it.  We all know how much I adore being photographed.  I politely declined his offer.

I noticed as I was driving to packet pick-up and again to the start line, that Manitowoc really is a lovely community.  It's a crying shame so much of their industry has folded.  It is really happily situated on the lake, and there are some beautiful homes and schools and parks all over the city.

This morning I got up, had some sweet potato hashbrowns and eggs, made a cup of coffee and headed down to the lake.  It was about 63 degrees and lightly raining.  Winning.  I got to the start, made use of the super convenient parking lot, ate a banana and got in line for the porta-john.  I accidentaly opened the door on a dude (Lock that sucker! Green means GO!), and struck up conversation with the lady in front of me (Is that weird?  I always talk to people in line for the pisser).  Her name was Amada and she was also running her first marathon.

15 minutes before the start, I saw this:
Warming up.  WARMING. UP.

Please forgive me if you're the type that does this, but I think that warming up before a marathon?  Is stupid.  Seriously.  You have 26.2 motherfucking miles to run today.  Why for the love of all that is holey (that's not a typo), would you run a mile before you start? Crazypants.

So how did it go?  Well, I went out too fast.  Way. too. fast.  10 minute mile fast.  By the time I hit mile 5 I was feeling nauseous.  It was stupid, I know that, but I felt so good the first mile...and I got caught up in the 10 minute pack and wanted to stay there and....and I fucked up.  I should have reigned it in.  I learned my lesson later.

I ran most of the way to mile 10, then ran and walked to the turnaround.  My half split was 2:36 or somesuch, and I knew I was way in the back of the pack after the turnaound.  I actually saw the winner.  I was at about mile 9, running about 1:40, and he was coming at me fast.  This is something I hate about out and backs-I don't want to see the winner.  It makes me feel slow and stupid.  The last 3 miles to the turnaround were very busy.  People everywhere.  By the time I made it back to Neshoto beach, I was alone again.

My Garmin decided to crap out at almost exactly mile 15.  That thing is an evil whore.  It has worked perfectly well on every long run, but fucking dies at every fucking race.  I was counting on that damn thing to help me pace the last 10 miles, since the course is long and straight down the shore, so the finish is pretty much visible the whole time. 

Mile 16-21 were hard for me.  Mentally, I was feeling downtrodden.  I knew I was off pace, but had no idea how far off.  I knew I was way way way in the back of the pack, but I didn't really know how many were behind me.  Physically, my right foot cramped up pretty badly. I didn't expect that at all.  It came and went for the rest of the race. By the end  couldn't really feel my right arch, but I think that was a good thing.

At 21 I caugh up to Amanda (from the porta-john line).  She was walking with her daughter.  When I asked how she was doing, she told me she was thinking of quitting.  I sort of gasped and said "You can't! We're only 5 miles from the finish!!"  She said she didn't think she would make it by the cut off.  I told her that it was only 11:30, and if she just kept up a good walking pace she would totally make it.

It was at that moment that I got my second wind.  I started running and turned back to her.  I pointed at her and said "You can do this.  I know you can."  In reality, I was talking to myself as much as to her.

I passed several people during those last miles, but never really caught the pack.  I walked and ran and walked some more.  My friend Joanne waved a sign at me just after mile 25, and again at the finish.  We finished out back of UW Manitowoc, with a beautiful view of the water:

There was an arch thingy.  This was taken pre-race.

I got an orange slice, then made straight for the food tent.  ShotBlocks are all fine and good, but I was seriously choking them down by the end.  I couldn't stand the sweetness.  I got my free Cher-Make brat and my free Point Brewery beer and Joanne and I parked ourselves on the hillside to cheer on the last few finishers. 

"White shirt" finished next-I never got her name.  We paced from 22.5-23.5 together.  Then came Liz, who I chased the whole way and finally overtook when her hip locked up at 21.  Then came "iPhone guy" who leapfrogged me from 15-21 and told me the time when I asked him.  Then came Amanda.   I have never been so proud of a total stranger.  She did it!  "Barefoot guy" was the last male finisher.  He did the whole damn thing in Vibram 5 fingers.  Ouch.  Then the older lady who was bringing up the rear at the turn around.

I leapfrogged  a lady named Carol near the turnaround. I don't think she finished.  I hope she is okay.

This course was so beautiful.  We ran through city streets, paved trail, gravel trail, and on a newly completed walkway on the beach.  It was so very lovely.  I would do it again as a relay in a heartbeat.

The shirt and hardware.

What I really liked about this race was the friendly feeling.  The volunteers were so great.  Every one with a smile and a word of encouragement...even for those of us way back in the pack.  I have never experienced such warm hospitality.  I would never have guessed his was a first year event, it was that well run.  To think, it was pretty much a group of running buddies that made this happen.  Cool.

How did I feel at the finish?  Hungry.  That's about it.  Relieved to be done.  No tears, no personal epiphany...just hunger :)  I'm really deep and shit.

I did get a little choked up when this song came on my iPod in the car. 

Yes.  It's the Glee version.  Judge all you want, I love 4 part harmony, and this totally brought tears to my eyes as I sang along in the car.  I sing the Santana part, if you were wondering.

Long story short, this was a great race.  I would highly recommend it!

Who's in for the relay next year?

Monday, June 18, 2012

We're Going Through Changes...

It's been a big week around here.  Lily lost her first tooth:
Tiniest tooth ever.
She has been wiggling it around for weeks, since loosening it while chewing on her pant leg.  Yeah.  You read that right.  What can I say?  She's a bit of a goofball.  Not surprising, considering her parentage.
It's potty training time for the boys:
Just makes you want to tinkle, doesn't it?
The thought of toilet training two boys makes me exhausted.  Lily was so great at it...initially.  Then I got huge and pregnant and she started pissing herself to piss me off.  It worked.  Thus began a cycle of success and regression that is still not over.  She's going to be five on July 2nd.  Now you understand my trepidation.  If it takes 3 years to train these boys, I'll be snorting Effexor and chewing Xanax like candy. They're ready, though.  They went to daycare in underpants today, with a huge bag of extra clothes.  We'll see how much laundry I'm in for this evening. 
Today I got up early and went to CrossFit, then came home and cleaned the house, did laundry, and set up the potty station.  In a couple of hours, I'll be busily making supper while shouting at children.  I'm a complicated woman, and no one understands me but my....oh never mind.
I'm going through my own changes.  I've been 18 days Paleo (with one slip), and I'm feeling pretty good.  I'm down 2lbs (nothing earth shattering there), but my waist is 2in smaller and my legs are firming up.  I am beginning to see muscle definition in my arms and shoulders.  That's a first.
Here's what I've noticed.  Each CrossFit session is a lesson in fear and humility.  I go in there and am confronted with what seems like an impossible task (Climb this rope!  Handstand pushup! 100 squats followed by a 1 mile run!).  I feel nervous, sick even (seriously, I've been having gym class flashbacks).  Then something funny happens.  I accomplish the task.  I climbed a rope.  I did about 25 handstands today.  I did squats until I couldn't feel my legs, then posted a mile in 9 flat.  Certainly there are things that will be a challenge for a long time (Toes to bar?!?! Yeah.  Right.  Double unders?  I haven't jumped rope since I was 9.), but I feel confident that with time I will be able to do them. 
The most striking thing?  I can feel the hatred I've always had for my body slipping away.  Now, I'm not saying I see a supermodel in the mirror, but I'm developing a healthy respect for what my body is capable of.  I don't spend 30 minutes picking out the workout gear that makes me look the least fat...I pull some shit on and just go.  No one at CrossFit is wearing a cutsy outfit.  When I did handstands today, my shirt fell up and my abs were exposed for all to see.  I didn't care at all.  All I wanted was to get up in that handstand and stick there. 
I may not be skinny, but I am fit and I am strong.  Fitter and stronger by the day.  I find myself really hoping that this will be a continuing trend.  I don't want to spend my life wondering if everyone that looks at me is laughing at me.  I want to walk upright through my days feeling healthy and happy, not giving a shit about whether the stockboy at Festival thinks I'm a fat ass.
Weight is a bullshit number.  I refuse to be defined by it.
The final change:
This is my Dad.  1/1/12.
This was the first Father's Day without my Dad.  The picture above was taken the last time he was able to travel to my house.  It was taken 26 days before he died.  He came over to see the kids, and Lily is proudly holding up a container of his favorite cookies.  He was still able to eat a bit at that point, but there were still three of those cookies left when he passed.  We sent them with him into the fire.  The cookies, the magnet he's holding in his left hand (Lily made it for him), and that goofy camoflage hat. 
I miss him. 

Thursday, June 14, 2012

My Hips and Ankles Hate Me

So, second week of CrossFit down.  Know what I learned this week?  My hips and ankles are dirty whores.  I am still struggling with squats.  When I get low enough, my foot position isn't right (yeah, I know I'm pigeon toed), and when my foot position is right I can't get low enough without screaming pain in my ankle.  Like I think it might break pain.  Scary, injury pain. 

So what is a pain-hating, wanna be marathoner to do?  Have a Functional Movement Screening, that's what.  A chiropractic/massage/exercise therapist type person is going to run me through a few exercises and point out all my many form flaws.  Sounds like a super self-esteem builder.  Hopefully, after pinpointing all the areas of my anatomy that can use work, the exercises/stretches they give me will help loosen everything up so I can fucking squat without Grant getting in my face. 

Speaking of Grant, I ran into him at the grocery store on Monday night as I was buying snacks for work.  He walked right up and started poking around in my grocery bag before I realized who he was.  I looked up and said "What the fuck are you...oh, hi Grant."  He said "Just checking your shit out.  Looks good." and walked away.  I was buying unsweetened almond milk and grapes, which passed muster, I guess.  He's like a ninja, that dude.

Last night's workout was run heavy, which made me so flipping happy, you don't even know.  Everyone else in the group was bitching about it, and I just grinned and grinned.  Running beats the shit out of burpees, and last night was a beautiful night for a run.  I got mine, though, because after finishing the workout and catching and passing the rest of the class on the last run, my reward was burpees and situps until everyone was done.  So. not. winning.

This morning involved wall balls and rope climbing.  So basically, a big bag of squat fail and terror.  Rope climbing is like a nightmare for me.  I was an uncoordinated, completely unathletic teenager.  Ropes were a source of humiliation in every high school gym class I ever had.  But you know what?  I climbed the thing.  Only halfway up, but I did it.  It scared the poop out of me, but I'm hoping that will get better in time. 

CrossFit seems to be becoming a means by which to face my fears.  Box jumps?  Terrifying.  Rope climbs?  Scary shit, man.  Upcoming will be handstand pushups, which seriously makes me want to cry.  Still, it's becoming clear to me that I am fitter than I thought, and if I just stop listening to the fat girl in my head, maybe I can do this shit after all. 

Fit test tomorrow after my FMS, then the Paleo challenge begins.  Goal:  To drop my mile split by 1 minute over the next 30 days. 

Wish me luck.  And meat cookies.

Monday, June 11, 2012

F*ck This Blog Post in the Face

Wow.  So....Ragnar.  It's so hard to put into words!  So much stuff happened over the last few days, and yet it feels like it all happened in a dream state.  I have a hard time remembering when things happened, what time of day (or just what day), or even where shit happened.  I lost all geographic sense almost immediately.  It was disorienting at first, then I just stopped caring what town we were in...all that mattered was the hand off, the next leg, the next exchange.

Here we are getting ready

That's Kim from Note the
words on the back of the van "Show us yer Booty".  It will be important later.

We had pirate flages, and panties on a rope, and an inflateable parrot on the exterior of the van.  There was also a stuffed parrot duct taped to the dash.  It was a van of pirate awesome.

That's Rachel from Running in Real Life, Kimbu, Kimba, Lisa, Falon from Falon Does Marathon, and moi.

We started at 11am.  It was fucking hot.  In fact, that doesn't even truly describe how hot it was.  It was damn fucking hot.  Crazy, freakishly hot.  90 freaking degrees.  In Wisconsin.  In early June.  Anyone who knows me, knows I hate the heat.  It was anxiety producing for me, because I didn't want to fail my team, but I also didn't want to die.

My first leg was brutal.  I followed Kimba, who is a fucking running machine.  Seriously, she finished a long ass, brutally hot leg looking like a damn fashion model.  Me?  I looked like this:
Less than fashion-modely.

And that was before I started running.  There is video of me coming into the exchange, and I looked half melted and pissed off.  To borrow Falon's terminology, I wanted to fuck that leg in the face.  I was slow as shit, and felt worse.  It. was. so. hot.  I handed off to Rachel, who is a running rockstar in addition to being the most organized person on the planet.  I should have taken pictures of the race binder.  It was a thing of beauty.  I'm pretty sure that chick could run the world. 

After we finished our first legs, we had some downtime.  A meal was in order, so we hit the Pinecone in Lake Mills.  They had these in the bakery case:
Cream puff as big as your head.  Eclairs as big as a baby.

I really wanted some bakery, but I resisted.  I did however have eggs with double bacon.  Bacon?  Is the candy of meat.  It was delicious.  File that under sodium replacement.

We hit the major exchange to try to sleep.  It didn't go well for most of us.  I fell asleep briefly, but couldn't stay asleep, so finally just said fuck it and stopped trying.  The exchange was crazy busy at first, but got eerily quite after a couple of hours.  That's when we started thinking something was up.  Van 2 finished up, and Kim was off into the woods in the pitch dark, headlamp blazing.

The night legs were....interesting.  Some of us were exhilarated, others terrified.  Me?  I was just grateful it was cooler.  I did 3.9 miles in the pitch black, all alone.  I had a moment of brief panic when a thug looking kid stepped out of the dark with 1 mile to go, but I had my phone out so the panic passed quickly.  I'm pretty sure the fact that I'm big and ugly, combined with sweaty and dirty put off any sort of attacker.  He was also relatively small, so I'm pretty sure I could have beat the shit out of him if I'd had to.

At exchange 18, we met Van 2 and found out that we had started at the wrong time for our pace.  There were several teams in the same boat, so we all jumped a couple of legs and double or tripled up running so everyone would get to run.  We arrived at the next major exchange exhausted, frazzled, and jumpy. 

Blah, blah sunrise.  We need to pooooooop!

We devised a plan to jump leg 2, and double up leg 27.  It was 6:30am and pleasant, but the sun was freaking hot, and by 8am it was clear there would be no let up on the heat.  Falon and Lisa killed leg 27, and Kimba fucking tore up the trail on leg 28.  Me?  I was sent off by Falon with a "Fuck this leg in the face".  It was 4.9 miles of shade free dirt track.  I wanted to die, and I was full of fail.  I swore and walked and ran and walked and walked and ran and cursed and wanted to cry.  I stumbled into the exchange feeling like a bag of shit, and handed off to Rachel.

Look how fucking pretty I am after 2 days without a shower. 

In the meantime, a team member was having a family crisis.  Jen from found out a family member was hospitalized, and needed to leave the course.  Van 2 was awesome and supportive and got her to the train station so she could try to make her way home.  The fabulous Linda from Mom Running from Cancer stayed with her, and as a result missed one of her legs.  Linda is seriously the most wonderful person.  I got to run with her during our Madison meet up in March, and she is just positivity personified.  I wish I had half her drive and enthusiasm. 

Blah blah blah, backstory, backstory, backstory, and we were stuck in traffice trying to get to the finish to meet our intrepid finishers from Van 2 Jamie from Running Diva Mom and Amy Zem from Running is Cheaper Than Therapy so we could cross the finish together.  Kim was fantastic in the role of driver, even though I'm pretty sure she wanted to punch Chicago in the butthole.  She almost had the opportunity when we looked out the left side of the car and saw a big, hairy butt hanging out of the car next to us.  Well, the car did say "Show us yer booty".  It was bound to happen.

We finally made it to Montrose beach and crossed the finish line in some hot ass sand.  Marcia and Amy G were also in attendance...we were missing Linda and Jen, but we crossed.  The sand was hot, there was no shade and no ice, and the medical tent was a bit of a joke.  After a brief break in the shade we were all ready to get the fuck out of there. 

The finish was weird.  I hardly remembered the last 36 hours, and even though I ran(ish) all my legs I felt like we didn't really finish.  We all worked so hard and went through so much, and we certainly weren't the only team that doubled up (in fact I heard several teams discussing it at the finish), but it still felt surreal. 

So how would I rate my Ragnar experience?  It. was. awesome.  I have never laughed so hard or suffered so much in my life.  Ragnar was harder than childbirth, but way more fun.  I met a bunch of incredible women I never would have met if not for this event.  Thanks so much to Kim and Rachel for letting me be a part of it.  I would do it again in a heartbeat.  I will always remember handing out ice and water at our impromptu water stops, and the look of exhaustion turned to gratitude on the faces of the runners who took ice and stuffed it in their sports bras and shorts and hats.  Meeting and cheering on the other teams, facing fears, sight seeing, getting pulled over at 2am, sweating, and laughing, and shouting, and dancing, and wearing panties on the outside of my clothing.  Thanks also to Jamie for the killer swag bag, it was so much fun to dig through it all and try everything out!

Back:  Kim, Marcia, Rachel, Falon, Lisa, Kim, Me,
Front: Linda, Amy G, Jen, Jamie, Amy Zem
Seriously, how can you not love this team idea?

I love these girls.  All of them. 

Van 1, with the first layer scrubed off.
I haven't looked at the results yet, mostly because I don't care.  I got my medal, race shirt, and decal for my car, so I'm good.  Speaking of the medal.
It's pretty badass.  Also a bottle opener.

So what did I do to celebrate?  Well, I had two beers and some pizza.  Paleo fail, but I fucking deserved it.  I also slept a lot so that I could get up and go to Crossfit this morning and have my ass handed to me.  Seriously, I can't feel my quads.  I also blistered my hand (and ruptured one blister) doing jump pullups. 

Now what, you might ask?  Oh yeah.  I have a marathon coming up.  And more Crossfit. 

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with me?  I've clearly developed masochistic tendencies.  And on that note, I'm going to chow some Paleo waffles and go to sleep.  I'm on the third shift for the next two days.  Glutton for punishment?  I think so.

This was a long ass post.  Did you make it to the end?  I owe you a meat cookie.

Monday, June 4, 2012

Yeah. I Do CrossFit, Bitches.

I do CrossFit.  What of it?

First CrossFit workout done!  My On Ramp class is 3 dudes and moi.  To my great delight, I was NOT the last one to finish the WOD (workout of the day).  So what did we do today? 

Box jumps.  Jumping from the floor onto a 20" high box.  I jumped onto a 16" box, because I have never done a movement like that before and it scared the shit out of me.  At the end of the set, Joe (coach) said "Hey, not bad!  You're ready for the big girl box!"  Thanks, Joe.

Sit ups.  The old school kind, not crunches.  No problems here.  I may have had twins, but I've also been doing ab heavy workouts for the last 2 years.  I could do this shit all day.

Squats.  I do not squat low enough for CrossFit.  This is a problem.  I think I did about a zillion squats today while my form was critiqued.  Basically a bunch of guys stared at my ass and told me how it wasn't close enough to the ground.  Awesome. 

Push ups.  "Full release" which means toes and chest supporting weight on the floor, pick up your body, full extension, then back down and touch, release hands, repeat.  The point is to not let your hips/knees/abs touch the floor.  I could do about 5 of these in a row before needing to modify to my knees.  That's more than one of the guys could do!  During the third cycle, I recall hearing Grant shout "Keep your junk off the floor, Amy!".  Laughing is not conducive to pushups.

Inverse push ups (they have a name, I wasn't paying attention).  Grab the rings, feet out, legs straight, and plank hang, then pull yourself up to the rings.  I like this movement. 

A few cycles of each, a few sprints (4x100m, 2x200m) and we're done.  Afterwards, I kind of lost feeling in my arms from the elbow to the shoulder.  (It's back, though....whew!)

Did I mention I had to take my kids?  And the class was at 6:15am? And we had to leave the house at 5:40 to make it on time?  FUN!  They watched me through the window from the kids area.  They actually did okay, aside from intense fear of Grant's big boxer (Sam-the sweetest freakin' dog).  He was kind enough to kennel the dog so the boys wouldn't have a collective apoplexy.

Overall?  It was fun.  I dug it.  I will keep going.

Day 4 of 30 Paleo challenge, so what am I eating?  Did you know that coconuts are awesome?  2tbsp of coconut butter has about the same amount of calories as peanut butter (which is off limits-legumes you know), but also FIVE grams of fiber?  Holy crap (pun intended)!  It's a teeny bit sweet, and is kind of tasty on fruit.  I also made chickpea-free hummus (legumes again), and it's pretty darn good.  The base is roasted cauliflower and tahini.  I don't even like cauliflower!

Coconut milk in my coffee.  Who knew?

Coconut curry shrimp and broccoli.

It sometimes takes a little creativity to figure out what to eat, but so far so good.  I also eat hard boiled eggs, meat cookies, lots of raw veggies, and fruit (glorious fruit!).  I am eagerly awaiting a shipment of coconut oil and coconut flour.  Waffles can be paleo if they're made with the right stuff!

Waffles with coconut butter.....mmmmmmmmmmmm......

Oh sorry, drifted off there. 

It's probably good that I love coconut with a burning passion. 

So.  Incredibly long story short.  I feel good.  My workout went well.  Transformation in progress.

Also?  RAGNAR IS THIS WEEKEND!!!!!!!  I am so friggin' excited!!!!  I feel like we've been waiting forever for this!  Frankly, after the weekend I had with the kids, the thought of spending two days in a van with 5 other people sounds like fucking heaven.

Thursday is my official Ragnar pack and prep day...still two more CrossFit workouts and three runs to go before that though.  So close....and

Friday, June 1, 2012

Lather, Rinse, Repeat

My last 20 miler.  Hopefully for a long ass time (minus the marathon, of course).  I ran my last super long run route in reverse.  I must say, that was a dandy idea.  Hit all the hills early, while I was still energetic, and coasted down a long decline into town around the 8 mile mark. 

I felt pretty good throughout.  I had my Paleo casserole early, then woke the spawn and hustled them to daycare (why why WHY to they fight putting on their shoes when I have a deadline?!?)  Dropped them off, snarfed down a banana, peed three times (at home, in the toilet), then strapped on all my gear and headed out.

It was overcast and cool this morning, so I opted for long sleeves and was pretty comfortable (surprisingly).  I wore my Door County half marathon shirt.  That's a nice shirt, I must say.  Light and soft.  Hooray and stuff.  One of my co-workers scared the crap out of me by honking when he drove past.  When I run I'm very zoned in on the road ahead.  I notice the cars, but not the drivers in general.  I also startle easily, so a horn?  Jumped right out of my skin. 

As I coasted down University I passed a gentleman at a bus stop.  I said "Good morning!" as is my custom when I'm out running, and he said the same in return.  I kept bopping along and heard "You looking goooooooood, baby!" from said gentleman.  I sort of waved over my head as I continued along. 

Thanks for noticing, random stranger.

I did sort of forget that running through town at 8am on a weekday means a lot of traffic.  It kept me on my toes, anyway, and pretty much the whole route had sidewalks available.  I don't often run on sidewalks, but they beat getting hit by a car!

I wrapped up at 20 miles (I have now done three runs of 20 or more miles while training for this marathon!) and went home for the obligatory ice bath.  I had some sliced chicken and an apple while I was icing, along with a can of coconut water.  I kind of dug the coconut water.  It was a little bit sweet, a little coconutty (duh), and very refreshing.  It also has a fair amount of potassium and magnesium in it.  Bonus.  I caught a shower, got dressed, and came to work.  For a 10 hour shift.  Awesome.  I'm not locking up, though, so that's a win.

The Paleo thing went well today.  I felt good about my breakfast, it worked well as pre-run food.  I ate my usual lunch and dinner stuff, just minus the froyo afterwards.  Tomorrow I'm going to give coconut milk in my coffee a go.  What the hell, it's worth a shot.

And, since I know you've been wondering, the meat cookies were delicious.