Monday, August 11, 2014

Blogging the Menu: Boring Ass Shit

Lalalalalalalaaaa  I got a new lunchbox which I am filling with all sorts of boring ass shit.  Here are some pictures of what I've been force feeding myself for the last few days.

Shoulda had more veg and less rice.

So. Fucking. Boring.

Soul sucking.

Changing it up with steak!  Woo!  Party!

Scallops!  Getting wild up in here!  Smaller portion of rice. More beans.

Hubs made smashed chicken.  Most exciting meal of the week.

I should note that I don't eat quinoa/rice every meal.  Depends on what's left over in the fridge.  Notice a pattern?  4oz meat, small portion potato or rice, veg, repeat.  Breakfast has been alternating oats with nut butter and blueberries and strawberry/banana protein smoothie.  Sometimes with spinach, though my little single serve blender at work doesn't handle the spinach well.

Christ I'm bored with this food.

Friday the hubs and I are headed down to Madison for the Madison Mini.  I'm really hoping for nice weather, but since my definition of "nice" running weather is 40 degrees my hopes aren't too high.  As long as it's not 100 degrees.  I want to do this race, but I don't have a death wish.

I'm trying my first Barre class on Thursday morning.  I have no idea what to expect.  I imagine it will be really fucking embarrassing as I have no game in the grace department.

Friday is "weigh myself and hope for the best day".  Come on something less than 169!

Time to heat up some boring ass shit to eat.

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Progenex and (Coconut) Juice

So I'm going to lose 20 pounds.  I've decided.  It's going to happen.  So I have a lunch box packed full of boring-ass shit to eat.  Eating boring ass shit works for weight loss, because you don't care about eating.  Why?  Because all you have is boring ass shit to eat.  Once I float closer to my goal I'll add back in the food that makes life interesting (at smaller portions), but for now I'll stick to boring ass shit.

How do I know boring ass shit works?  It's how I lost 65lbs my last year of college.  Boring. Ass. Shit.  So as I was running for 150 minutes yesterday, I was listening to Snoop (because what 36 year old middle class white woman DOESN'T listen to Snoop) and rewrote the lyrics to the track to fit my current situation.

I'm aware that is an abomination.

Progenex and (Coconut) Juice 

With so much drama in the WGB
It's kinda hard to be Amy P-h-a-r-m D
But I, somehow, some way
Keep cookin' up boring-ass shit like every single day
May I, cook a little breakfast for the kids (yeah)
And make a few pancakes as (yeah) I breeze through
Two in the mornin' and the ER's still jumping
'Cause your seatbelt wasn't on
I got surgeons in the OR still gettin' it on
And I ain't leavin' 'til eight in the mornin'
So what you wanna do, shit
I got a cooler full of diet food and my homies have muffins
So turn on the lights and crank the radio
But (but what) I don't eat that no more, yeah
So I'm gon' drink 8oz of coco h2o
Yams up, donuts down, while you motherfuckers bounce to this

Spinnin' in my chair, eating broccoli, sippin' on Progenex and (Coconut) Juice
Laid back (with my mind on my menu and my menu on my mind)

Now that I got me some almond milk
Everybody got they cups, but they ain't chipped in
Now this type of shit happens all the time
You got to get yours, but fool this shit is mine
Everything is fine when you listening to the Pharm-D
I got the high level medicine that be captivating he
Who listens to the words that I speak (or reads my blog)
As I take my dinner to the microwave
And get to snackin' on this dry ass protein (protein?)
It used to be a roasted chicken (oh, that thing)
Muffins on the counter, bitch please
Get out of this room because you gets none of these (at ease)
As I stuff in the chicken and greens, feel the breeze
Beyotch I'm just

Spinnin' in my chair, eating broccoli, sippin' on Progenex and (Coconut) Juice
Laid back (with my mind on my menu and my menu on my mind)

Later on that shift
My tech came through with bottle of coffee creamer
And a fat ass scone of some blueberry kind that made me choke
Shit, this ain't no joke
I had to back up off it and sit my coffee down
Scones, creamer, and muffins, yeah I'm fucked up now
But it ain't stoppin', I'm still poppin'
Fruit in a blender from the .com of Amazon
To serve me; not with a cherry on top
But with bananas and strawberries and a scoop of Isopure
Don't get upset girl, that's just how it goes
I don't eat that shit anymore, I'm out the door

(with my mind on my menu and my menu on my mind)

See?  Boring ass shit.

Tomorrow is some fast intervals followed by some hurry-up sleeping.  I'm going to sleep the everliving fuck out of Saturday.  I hope it rains.

All right.  Time to heat up some boring ass shit to eat.