Saturday, January 31, 2015

Blogging 2015: 150 down, 1865 to go.

Yep, I only did 2 miles today.  Sue me.  It was workout 3 of 3 and I just wanted a nice round number for my monthly total, which meant either 2 or 7 miles.  I thought about 7 miles, then I fell off the treadmill because I was laughing so hard.

Saturdays when fantastic husband is off are the greatest.  It means I can go to the 815 free WOD at the box without having to drag the spawn.  The kids love going to CF, but the Saturday morning workout is open to the public (although there's always a shitload of regulars) and it's usually really fucking crowded.  Like hard to find a parking space, so many bodies in the room that you're stepping on each other, spend 20 minutes catching up with all the people you haven't seen in a while crowded.  It's pretty great.

Got up around 6:30, just ahead of the kids and husband and let the dog outside while I unpacked my Vitamix. I went to Pinterest and called up a recipe for a breakfast smoothie.  Berry oatmeal smoothie. Get in my belly.  The recipe makes 2 servings, so I had one pre-WOD and the other pre-yoga.

1/2c oats
1c unsweetened almond milk
1 banana
1c frozen berries
2tbsp Sunbutter

And blitz. Bonus points for mason jar and metal straw.  It was pretty damn tasty.

Such a pretty color.

The workout this morning was a birthday WOD for one of the members.  A 39 minute AMRAP of 100m partner carries, 31 pushups, 76 partner burpees.  You can read that as "you will taste blood".  Now, this is a pretty nice guy, but I sort of wanted him dead from the outset.  The two coaches this morning are particularly good-looking young men, the type that you'd feel bad punching in the face.  You know.  If you had the energy after essentially beating yourself up.  It was a partner workout (obvs).  I'm going to tell you right now that all CrossFitters pretty much go through life sizing up people and objects, trying to decide if he or she could pick that shit up.  This scrutiny becomes much more intense when a partner WOD is announced.  Because now you actually have to pick that shit up. And carry it.  And maybe worse...someone has to pick you up and carry you. There are few times in life when it is acceptable to sidle up to someone in a public place and say "Sooo, ummmm....what do you weigh?" And if you find someone who weighs the same as you?  Relief city.  The only better thing is ending up paired with someone who is super strong but also small, though that can backfire if you're a lot taller.  And let's face it...I'm pretty much always taller.  As it stood, my partner and I were pretty well matched.  Winning.  We weighed almost exactly the same.  Her ass is smaller for some reason, but I'll try not to hold that against her.

39 minutes later I just kinda wanted to lay on the floor.  But instead I shot the breeze with some folks for a while, then grabbed my pre-yoga smoothie and headed over to Jenstar for some more sweating.

I am super excited to be drinking this in the car.

I'm not really a heavy sweater in general, but hot yoga leaves me wringing wet.  Static holds pretty much mean sweat in my eyes.  After all those pushups and burpees, my chaturangas were pretty poor.  I skipped a lot of them.  Straight into downward dog, baby.  I'm listening to my body and it is saying HAVE YOU LOST YOUR DAMN MIND?  Still, the stretching is always good. I smelled pretty damn great after two solid hours of crazy.

This is my "I'm so tired I can't remember how to start my car" face.

When I got home I crammed an apple, a cup of pineapple, a cup of almond milk, and two huge handfuls of spinach into the Vitamix.  Lunch was served.  If you like pina might enjoy this but probably not as it's not much like a pina colada at all.  I drank the whole blenderful.  Calorie count? 188.  And it was very, very filling.  I probably should've put some protein powder in it or something. Ah well.  It really was quite tasty, sweet and pineapply.  Didn't taste "green" to me at all.  

Oh Vitamix. I heart you already.

Fantastic husband went out for a run and I got on the treader to get 2 miles for my 150 mile month.  Most miles I've had in a month ever.  I'm pretty proud of that.  I had a little post run snack.

There's that missing protein.

I almost forgot.  Here's me looking really happy about being on the treadmill.

2 miles. Just 2. 

Fantastic husband is going to a drag show with one of the local news anchors tonight (no, seriously) and we didn't really have a dinner plan, so we made grilled ham and cheese and I had some leftover sprouts.  I can't remember the last time I had a grilled ham and cheese.  It was delicious.

Comfort food.

I bought grapes at Costco yesterday, and Costco grapes are kind of hit or miss.  I pawed through the stacks until I found a box I thought looked promising and I chose well.  These are crispy sweet and delicious.  I am also now uncomfortably full.  I've gone to bed at 8pm the last 2 nights, and I might do the same again tonight. Tomorrow I'm only planning to run as I've got a shitload of laundry to do and some serious cleaning to start.  I also have to make cookies for my daughter's Scout meeting on Monday.  


Last week before vacation!  I really need to find my passport.  This week I will do all the exercises! And get a haircut! And a pedicure! Because my feet are disgusting.

Really, I'm going to have to tip big.

Friday, January 30, 2015

Blogging 2015: 148 down, 1867 to go

I'm not sure why I try to make plans. Whenever I make plans, the universe points and says "HA! FOOLISH WOMAN WILL NOW PAY FOR HER ARROGANCE!" in a Russian accent for some unknown reason.

This morning I had a small visitor at 6:30, which was fine because I was getting up anyway. The house was pretty sparse for groceries, so I toasted some waffles and dished the last of the bananas for them.  I had one of the last 2 eggs (seriously, we were down to 2 eggs) and some shoulder bacon.  The applesauce was pretty much the only other thing in the fridge.


Today is my first useful day off, in that I'm not stupid tired. So my plan was to take the boys with me to the box for 9:15am, then to the bank, then the carwash, then home for lunch.  After the skills portion of the morning, as I was setting up for the WOD I heard a small voice say "Mommy? I pooped a little in my pants." And sure as shit (see what I did there?) he did in fact have some green slime in his drawers.  Morning. Blown. I feel a little bad for the kid as it was probably one of those stealth poops that sneaks up on you.  A shart if you will. It was contained, but I didn't have a change of clothes for him and as poop is a biohazard I couldn't let him just wander around, sitting on things and contaminating stuff.  So we left.  In the middle of class.  I did not get to do 30 snatches, and that makes me grumpy.

We came home so I could throw away C's drawers and salvage his pants.  I'm sorry.  I do NOT save poopy drawers.  I make a nice living and can afford new underpants.   The boys watched some cartoons, and I had a snack.  I've gotten to the point where I prefer Sunbutter to peanut butter.  It took me a while, but I've come around.  This is one Honeycrisp apple. She was a big 'un.

I realize this is somewhat visually ironic.

When the husband came home I geared up for a run.  We did heavy (for me) back squats for skill work today 3 x 8 rounds EMOM (every minute on the minute).  This means my quads and hamstrings were firing for a while afterwards.  I decided a 3 mile run was plenty on my twitchy ass legs.  It was in fact plenty.  Gorgeous day out today. Just about 20 degrees and sunny.  It was lovely to get some fresh air.
My nose is enormous. WTF?

I have a gigantic nose.  When I was a teenager I used to cry to my mom that I wanted to get it fixed, and I was teased about it mercilessly most of my childhood.  Up to an including some teenaged jackass drawing a picture of me in profile complete with wart and witches hat.  Sad thing is, minus the wart he got the profile right.  It's my mom's nose, only hers isn't quite so fucking huge.

Every now and then someone tells me that I look like Beverly Mitchell.  I vaguely know she was on 7th Heaven (you know that show with the pastor dad who turned out to be a perv?) and I Googled her once to see if it was true.

She has a big nose, too.  I totally get it.

Beverly Mitchell
She has nicer hair, though.

On my run I remembered something important.  I shouldn't eat apples before vigorous exercise.  They make me barfy.  I didn't actually puke, but I got close.

After running and picking up the girl child from her half day of school, I finally worked up the ambition to shower.  Then I washed my car, went to the bank, and headed for Costco.  I may have forgotten to eat lunch.

At Costco I dropped a wad on food, but mostly on this beauty.  I'm so excited that I went into a smoothie recipe pinning frenzy.  Sorry Pinterest friends.  You get to look at a bunch of fancy glasses full of obliterated stuff.  Probably for a while.  I've been waiting for this day for some time.

VITAMIX!!! You complete me.

I will now discard my Black and Decker, the Magic Bullet, and maybe my food processor.  This motherfucker right here?  Will not only make blended soup, but will heat that shit up for you.  One step.  Also?  I went to Costco in my sweatpants.  Like a boss. 

I got my 2015 in 2015 challenge shirt today.  I love a race shirt.  The back says "Make Fit Happen".  I like it.
I will!  I will make fit happen!

I picked up a couple of rotisserie chickens at Costco.  So easy.  So cheap.  Just like your mom. And sprouts.  

I like my veggies with bacon.

Also in the mail today was this stupid thing.  I haven't worn Spanx since I had my twins.  I wore them so I could button my pants without catching a flap of hanging skin in the button hole (yes that happened, and yes it hurt).  BTW-I had all that skin removed surgically (if you didn't know) so that I wouldn't be spending my goddamn paycheck on lycra garments forever.

Because I'm sure she looks way different without the girdle.

I have several problems with this message.  It seems to be saying "Hey, fatty!  Want some ice cream?  Cram your ass into this elastic tube of doom and you can have it!"  The other thing that I don't get is the exclusive use of skinny models in these catalogs.  That chick?  She doesn't need Spanx.  Unless you show me a before in which her intestines are hanging around her knees, I'm not buying that she wears these things.  Show me a chubby chick wearing these bitches and we'll talk.  I want to see how they make someone's saddlebags disappear (hint, it's by squeezing the fat up to her waist or down to her knees).  Look at her!  So carefree! Now she can slip into her size 2 dress and eat chips and guac, because eating until you BULGE is totally cool.

Sweet chocolate Christ.

Tomorrow is CrossFit at 0815, followed by yoga at 1000, followed by a run or walk (depending on the condition of my legs).  Maybe I'll make a smoothie.  Oh who are we kidding.  Of course I'm going to make a smoothie.  I bought 2.5 pounds of spinach for fuck's sake.  I also bought avocados, and I have some peppermint extract in the cupboard.  There may be a paleo shamrock shake in my very near future as well. FYI the paleo shamrock shake recipe can be found at or on Pinterest if you search Paleo Shamrock Shake.  

Maybe I'll make some popcorn.  Mmmmmmm.  Popcorn.  The Vitamix doesn't make popcorn.  Get on that, Vitamix people.

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Blogging 2015: 145 down, 1870 to go

That's right.  I did 10 miles today.

Last night was pretty typical, nothing too strenuous, and around 6am I started my usual end of the work week energy dump bouncebouncebounce Is the cafeteria open yet? bouncebouncebounce I know! Imma make some fresh coffee!! bouncebouncebounce Everything is hilarious!! IS IT TIME TO GO HOME YET?!?!? bouncebouncebouncebouncebounce

Since I generally stay awake most of the day on my transition day, I have breakfast at work including some coffee.  I usually avoid coffee after about 3am so it won't interfere with falling asleep at 8am.  I'm not especially sensitive to caffeine. In my younger days I would wash Sudafed down with Mountain Dew and fall asleep like a champ.  I can still do that to a degree, but why chance it? Sleep is far to precious a commodity.

I drank a boatload of water overnight, and this morning I was feeling a little bowl of oatmeal with cranberries.  It was delicious.  I only drank about half the juice.  Ordinarily I don't waste calories on orange juice, but this bottle has been sitting in the fridge for a month so I figured I better drink it.  At least it's not from concentrate-though I know they add homogenizing agents to the batches of juice.

I love oats.

After work I headed home and hopped on the treadmill for 4 quick miles before my doctor's appointment.  My appointment was with the Gyn to discuss my options for taming the wild uterus, so I wanted to make sure I took a shower right before going in.  Ladies, you know what I mean.  I love my OB/Gyn.  He's terrific.  He didn't actually deliver any of my kids as he was conveniently on vacation both times. This lead me at one point to tell him that he was dead to me, but he is a truly excellent physician and I've recommended him to everyone who'll listen since 2002.  I haven't been seen in a while, and there's been a software conversion since the last time, so I got to redo my entire medical file with the LPN who has the same name and bears an uncanny resemblance to my MIL up to and including the fact that both women have lost a substantial amount of weight in the last few years.  Imagine discussing your medical and sexual history with your MIL.  Creeeeeepy. Another slightly unsettling thing is that my doc lives in my neighborhood, so I see him when I'm out running or walking the dog.  He always smiles and waves or comes out to talk to me about training.  For a while all I could think was "This dude has seen my ladygarden" whenever we met outside a medical setting.  I'm over that now.  Having twins means that about 20 people see you all laid out under a spotlight in an OR while you fire babies out of your vagina like a bloody semi-auto (one in the clip, one in the chamber!).  After that I could give a shit.  Wanna see my mommy parts?  Get an eyeful.  They've taken a beating. Don't say I didn't warn you.

The upside of having my ladyparts prodded is that we developed a plan to control things while I'm on vacation and until I can get in to have a Mirena IUD placed.  Yes, I'm already sterile.  But the hormones in the IUD may help me achieve amenorrhea, which has been my goal since fucking menarche.  I basically told him that I was trying to avoid learning to surf with a supermax tampon and an overnight pad on under my swimsuit.  I then said "You know what I mean? Wait, no. You have no idea what I mean. Try to empathize, okay?' 

So I'm going back on the pill briefly to get shit under control and in a month or two it'll be IUD time.  I'm just going to keep cramming metal and plastic shit into my reproductive organs until they give up.

After the doctor I came home and took the dog for a little walk.  It was supposed to be sleeting and shit, but it was just windy so we went for a 2ish mile loop.  Then I got back on the treader and pounded out another 4 miles.  It was an attempt to get my blood flowing a little so I wouldn't fall asleep and forget to pick up the kids after school.  It worked for that purpose, but I am fucking toast right now.

Lunch was something I used to make all the time in college.  Saltines with melted cheese, complete with paper plate.  I fucking love this.  LOVE IT.  It is utterly worthless from a nutrition standpoint, but so extremely very very tasty.  Filled me right up.

Nachos for the lazy.

I didn't eat dinner because I was still full from my "lunch"  I feel a little hungry now, so there might be an apple and some sunbutter in my future.  Maybe not.  I'm having a hard time staying awake right now and the kitchen is like 20 steps away.  The struggle is real, people.  

Tonight was my first go at making Mac 'n Cheese with the Wildtree powdered cheese.  It turned out great and the kids snarfed it down along with some garlic bread and apples.  I should've sliced an apple for myself then.  Why don't I think of these things?

I did manage to wash the spawn (who needed it- sweet baby dolphins those little bastards were smelly) right after dinner before all my ambition flew away.  

This morning I attempted to get my calendar together for the next month.  I actually scheduled my WOD times, yoga classes, and run opportunities so that I wouldn't find excuses not to go and do it.  Consistency.  I will achieve it.  I've already logged more miles this month than in any month ever.  Some of them are walking miles, but they are all above and beyond my usual activity level-I'm not counting steps.  I just might pull off this 2015 miles.  Wouldn't that be a hoot?

Ok.  Dog out.  60 minutes until I sleep.  I can do this.  I can.  Icanasdkka;d fdaj;k  djkflaaaa;;;;;;;;;;;

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Blogging 2015: 135 down, 1880 to go

Missed yesterday because there was pretty much nothing to say.  Not much to say today either, except that my juice fast is ending and I'm going to do my best to apply the lessons I've learned to eating going forward.

I had a little popcorn today as my transition back to solid food.  It was tasty, and didn't take much to make me feel full.  I had the initial urge to go back for seconds, but I squelched it, which is a pretty huge win. I also had three little squares of pizza.  They were delicious, but repeated on me for about 2 hours.  Bleh.

I did 3ish miles on the treader yesterday (had intended 5, but was just not feeling it) and about a mile or mile-and-a-halfish walk this morning just because I wanted some air and it was nice out.  By rights I should've gotten on the treader for some extra miles this evening, but I slept badly today and didn't want to be flat out exhausted going into tonight.  I'll get a nap tomorrow afternoon, and since I'm off for the next 7 days it's game on in the gym, the yoga studio, and on the road.

So the result of the juice fast was a loss of 6.5 pounds over 7 days and my waist reducing by an inch.  Most of this was probably water, but weight is weight and water is what gives me that uncomfortable puffy feeling so I'm fine with water loss.  I also realized that I do a shitty job of hydrating at home.  At work I'm downing water and tea all night.  At home?  I barely drink, which may be why I seem to be always eating.  I rarely snack at work.

Overall, I liked the juice fast and I'm glad I did it.  I don't know that I'd do it again, but never say never.  If nothing else I've learned a good way to shoehorn veggies into my diet when I'm feeling lazy.

And I'm absolutely getting that fucking Vitamix.

As a side note, I was surfing around yesterday on Athleta and a few other sites including Pinterest for ideas on a bathing suit bottom that is appropriate for watersports.  You know, not some shitty crocheted string bottom.  Something useful. That also won't cut into my thigh and hip fat and make me look fatter.  That is a challenging thing, let me tell you.  What I discovered searching around Pinterest is about a billion photos of "plus sized" women in bikinis.  Plus sized defined as size 10/12 (which I am) and up. You know what?  They all looked totally fine. In fact, a lot of them looked great.  Like I probably wouldn't have looked twice except to think "cute suit".  I even ran across a picture of a woman in an orange 2 piece with measurements almost identical to my own (except I have a bigger bra band size-giant rib cage ftw) and the first thing I thought before I realized that was "Wow!  She looks great! I wish I looked like that!"  


One of these days I'm going to stop being so damn critical of myself.  One of these days.

Monday, January 26, 2015

Blogging 2015: 131 down, 1884 to go

I'm officially day 5 of the juice fast, and I have to say it's been pretty easy.  That seems impossible considering how much I love to eat.  Here's my lunch bag from the last few nights.

Veggie goodness.

The salt cravings have subsided, which is a relief, because Sunday morning I really thought I was going to lose my mind.  I was fantasizing about salty popcorn. It was sexual. That shit is alarming.  What I have learned is that just because I'm a little hungry doesn't mean I need to EATALLTHETHINGSOMG.  I'm absolutely NOT going to starve, and my body is pretty decent at regulating my blood sugar when I'm not cramming food into my gaping maw constantly.  That's probably the biggest thing I've noticed (along with the salt thing)-that even though I've allowed myself to operate at "slightly hungry" for the last few days, I've never felt hypoglycemic.  Not once. Since mostly dumping grains two and a half years ago, my previous hypoglycemic issues mostly resolved. If I eat grain, I notice uneven blood sugar.  High highs and looooooow lows.  I've lost consciousness on at least 3 occasions in my adult life because of low blood sugar.  It's as though my pancreas senses food and shouts DIESUGARDIE and floods my body with insulin. It was particularly bad when I was pregnant. Now, it's been a while, but I still have a roll of Life Savers in my car. It's been 5 days on this juice fast and no uneven blood sugar. Not one episode.  My activity level is lower, but it's not as though I'm just lying on the floor staring at the ceiling. Good job, body!  Way to maintain homeostasis!

I managed to finish my silver socks.  The yarn actually has tensil fibers spun into it, so it's sparkly.  The pattern is interesting to look at, but it was tedious as hell to knit.  An easily memorized 4 row repeat...repeated ad nauseum.  Not mindless enough tune out, too mindless to hold my attention.  They look pretty fab with my pink hospital shoes, though.

No reason I can't be a little fabulous overnight.

I took the dog out for a quick 3 miler this afternoon.  She was a barely contained ball of energy and I figured she'd go fucking insane if I didn't run her a bit.  It was cold and snowing lightly, but overall not too bad.  I took a dogfie, but it is hopelessly blurry.  You'll get over it.

I had a facebook conversation with a friend last night regarding competition.  It got me thinking, and since this blog is basically the place where I dump all my crazy, I thought I'd dump my neuroses here for your reading pleasure.  The catalyst for the conversation was the Ice Bowl, which is a CrossFit competition put on by my gym (I was going to write "box" but the sentence structure makes that sound like it's in my vagina). My friend is planning to sign up and I expressed that she'd never catch me signing up for a CF comp.  Ever.  

Competition is a funny thing.  It brings out both the best and the worst in me.  For most of my life I was a textbook overachiever.  Focused.  Driven. Particularly in the academic arena.  You have a challenge? Bring it here so I can crush it. Give me an essay contest and I will win it. Administer a standardized test and I will fly through it at lightening speed and post the top score.  Give me a topic and I will give an award winning speech. You do not want to play Trivial Pursuit with me.  I will annihilate you.  Except the sports category.  The answer to all those questions is Arnold Palmer.  Don't judge.  That answer has won me the game twice.  In an academic competition I am in my element.  Give me a skill to learn, a subject to master, and I will do it with a single minded intensity that frightens me sometimes. That's the best in me. 

Sports?  That's a different animal. I have a hard time defining myself as an athlete, in spite of my recent track record. Yeah, I work out a lot.  I'm not good at it.  I broke my arm running in 4th grade.  I broke my leg running at rugby practice in my 20s.  I've broken teeth and bashed up my face falling down and cut up my hand and burned myself falling up.  I am a large giraffe like person with about as much grace as a drunken steer.  I've discovered that I cannot compete at sports.  It makes me miserable.  A lot of things come easy to me, but athletics is holyshitnotoneofthem. I have to work my ass off for every gain.  Every minute off my best mile, every 5 pound increase in my clean, every twist and stretch in a yoga pose comes at the cost of months of time and effort...and agonizing self doubt.  Because of this I have carefully cultivated an attitude of non-competition in my athletic endeavors.  Yes, I'd like to improve my half marathon time, but not because I want to be faster than other people.  I don't need to win prizes.  I want to increase my lifts because it's good for my bones and my metabolism and it feels amazing to hit a lift I couldn't do before.  I want to advance my yoga practice because it's good for my balance and flexibility and long term durability.  I carefully avoid comparing myself to other people in these activities, because comparison breeds self-loathing.  Competition is comparison amplified.  Maybe not for everyone, but certainly for me.  Comparison, one in which I will always come up short, sends me into a downward spiral.  I wonder why I do anything at all, since I can't compete with those around me.  It's stupid and counterproductive, but there it is.  The thought of competing, where my score is posted for the world to see my weakness, that makes me want to run and hide.  That's the worst in me. (Running doesn't really count here, as most races are hundreds to thousands of people and an individual score fairly vanishes.) Comparison is the thief of joy. 

A true friend indeed never envy you, rather feels genuinely happy for you! Otherwise, how can be someone deserving to be called best friend when you define it as competition?

So I don't compete.  I'll happily cheer on any friend, and be as happy about his or her accomplishments as I would be about my own.  It takes courage to compete, and that's a brand of courage I don't have.  It's okay, though.  I am courageous in other ways.   

This time of year, this week in particular is difficult for me.  In 2009 I was 13 weeks pregnant with what would have been our second child.  On 1/19 (my mother's birthday), my daughter had a seizure after a viral illness that landed her in the hospital.  She was 18 months old, and I slept on a cot next to the cage she slept in for seizure precautions. My husband was home, sick with the same illness my daughter had and I had to choose who to care for.  I thought it was the longest night of my life.  I was wrong.  On 1/21 (my sister's birthday) I went back to work.  Something went wrong that afternoon.  I started bleeding.  Since I work in the hospital where my doctor is, I went straight over to OB to be handed the news that my pregnancy was over.  I went back to work, then home that night to wait it out.  I began hemorrhaging in the wee hours of the morning.  I googled miscarriage, I fretted and waited, then finally called the triage RN and drove myself to the ER at 4am, alone.  I lost consciousness on the table about 30 minutes later in an expanding pool of blood and awoke in Major Trauma 1 to a dozen nurses and doctors rushing around me.  I remember the sound of the suction and feeling very, very cold as they pumped saline into my arm.  I lost our child in blood and tears on 1/22.  
I remember that child every day.

In 2012, my father passed away on 1/27 after a short stint with pancreatic cancer.  Standing watch at his bedside was one of the hardest things I've ever done.  It is difficult to express what it is to witness the last moments of a person's life.  I've come to realize over the past few years that not many people have the experience of being with their loved ones until the very end.  Death comes suddenly for many people. I don't know which would be better, honestly.  I know I'd rather a quick death for myself personally, but for the survivors...I don't know.  I don't know if "having time to say good-bye" is all it's cracked up to be, because it was pretty fucking agonizing.  

So January is a tough month.  The last couple of weeks are littered with emotional landmines.  I guess that's okay...keep it localized to one time frame and then move on.  I'm good at compartmentalizing.  It's one of my superpowers.  I can put anything into a box on a mind-shelf.  

This was long and kind of a downer.  If you stuck it out, you'll likely need a drink now.  

Welcome to my crazy!  I think I'll have a juice to wash it down.

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Blogging 2015: 128 down, 1887 to go

Nothing interesting about today.  I had juice. I ran/walked on the treadmill.  Now I'm at work.

Move along.

Saturday, January 24, 2015

Blogging 2015: 123 down, 1892 to go

I finally got some decent sleep today!  Last night I was draaaaaaaaaging between 2 and 5am.  Not that that time frame doesn't inherently drag, but it's a lot worse when you're tired.

I got to try a new juice this morning. It was really good.  But it wasn't bacon, which is sad.

Such a pretty color.

After sleeping, I got on the treader.  It was warm out today, and I could have gone outside, but I'm still drinking gallons of fluid and like the bathroom close.  Also, this whole deal is a pretty extreme reduction in calories and I didn't want to take the chance of browning out while far from home.  I'm not sure why I'm so worried about that as it hasn't been an issue...just history I guess.  I've had that happen more than once in my life and I get paranoid about it.

Me and my buddy Torvald.

After my little 5 mile jaunt, I drank my Zinger (seriously, I'm in love) and showered up so we could take the kids to the Gambler game.  The girl child had been to a game before (her recollection?  "I remember it was loud") but not the boy children.  They got hot dogs and soda (which is a big deal-I can count on one hand the number of times they've had soda) and their reactions to the sodas were pretty priceless.  The boys both thought the soda was "too spicy"-it was cola.  The girl pouted because she was "hoping for water". If I can successfully raise children who don't drink soda because they don't like it, then I get a prize.  

This whole juice fast is pretty fucking fascinating.  I haven't been terribly hungry, which is surprising, and my reaction to hunger is less frightening.  I just grab a juice or make a cup of tea and it subsides.  I'm certainly better hydrated than I've been in a while.  After just 2 days my complexion is brighter.  The most bizarre thing?  I don't crave sweets at all. This may be because most of the juices are somewhat sweet, but who knows.  All I know is that the stuff I'm craving isn't my usual go to stuff.  What I want is salt. OMGSALT.  
The reason this shocks me so much is that I'm not typically a salty snacker.  I mean, I L-O-V-E salt.  I use it when I cook and my husband will tell you that I think everything needs salt.  I've been salting the shit out of my food since I was a kid.  There was initially a medical reason for that.  I had (have) extremely low blood pressure and used to pass out a lot, sometimes with injurious results.  The suggestion my parents were given was to make sure I got plenty of salt, so my palate is used to that flavor.  I've never, ever watched my sodium intake for that reason.  I don't need to.  I could eat blocks of salt and my systolic pressure never rises above 105.  That said, I don't typically crave salty foods.  When I crave, I crave sugar.  Sugar and highly processed carbs.  Tonight I spent most of the hockey game trying to breathe in the scents of popcorn and hot dogs and salty pretzels in an attempt to satiate the salt craving.  It kind of worked. The desire for salt was almost overwhelming between 5 and 7am this morning.  Maybe because I've conditioned myself to eat eggs and bacon at that time every day?  Who knows, but I considered just pouring salt packets into my mouth.

Tonight before the hockey game the kids were eating corn chips and my little son held up a Frito and said "Mommy, have you tried these?  They're delicious." I don't even like Fritos and I considered just licking one.

I. Want. Salt. 


And not that overpriced restaurant in DePere.  

Friday, January 23, 2015

Blogging 2015: 118 down, 1897 to go

I made it through day one and most of day two of my juice fast.  I drank an ocean of water and a river of herbal tea and visited the bathroom a jillion times.

The only issue I had?  I was desperately craving salt by the end of the night.  Truly, that was my only problem.  I mean, I felt hungry here and there, but it was usually right before I was planning to have a juice anyway and they are oddly filling.  I was cold overnight from nothing but cold juice and water, but mint tea helped quite a bit with that.

I had three flavors of juice overnight.  Gnome is tasty.  It's tastes very fresh and...well, green.  It tastes like Spring would taste if you could eat it.  Really good.

I get 2 of these a day.

The Zesty Greens is...strong.  Very very vegetable in nature, and I was extremely conscious of the cabbage.  It wasn't bad exactly, but this is one I'm going to have to just sack up and drink every day.  It was very filling, but I can't say I enjoyed it.

Take your medicine.

At the end of the night I had this Veggiesaurus.  I was craving salt so hard at this point that it was difficult to drink this one because of the slightly sweet, carroty flavor.  It's probably pretty good as a stand alone, but I didn't want sweet at all at that point of the night, so it was another medicinal drink.

Hey, it kept me full for hours.

I started off my day today with the angry lemonade Zinger.  I love that one.  I'm stoked that it's my "breakfast" every day because it is fantastic.  I get a new one at the end of the night tonight, it's mostly berries and should be really good. The only "medicinal" I'll have tonight is the Zesty Greens.

Things I learned from the first 24 hours:  
1. I can deal with hunger.  I was worried about hypoglycemia, but that was a non-issue last night.
2. I crave salt.  I've always thought of myself as more of a sweets person, but the salt craving was almost overwhelming this morning.  
3. I like tea, but not drinking coffee for a whole week is going to be difficult.

So far so good. I'm not hangry, I'm not weak or sick or headachey.  I'm tired, but that's more of a lack of sleep situation than anything else.  The dog had her stitches removed (the ones she couldn't get to, she handily removed about 80% of her stitches herself) and was given a clean bill of health post-op.  Her appointment meant I didn't get to sleep until around 9:30 this morning.  I didn't sleep very well or very long today, so I'll have to make up a few of those hours tomorrow.  She and I got a 3 mile walk this afternoon, so there's that.

I'm told that days 2-3 of a juice fast are the worst.  Right now I'm about 36 hours into this, so the worst is in progress and it doesn't seem so bad.  That said, the hours between 2 and 4am can be rough even when not fasting so I'm not going to get too cocky.  

1 hour until the kids hit the sack.  Maybe I'll grab a snooze in the chair.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Blogging 2015: 115 down, 1900 to go

A big milestone is on the horizon!  I'll break 1900 miles tomorrow!  I need to go look at the 2015 in 2015 website for the target mileage for January, but I think I've only got about 55 miles to hit it and still have over a week to get there.  No sweat.  If I recall correctly, hitting the mileage makes you eligible for prizes.  I like prizes.

So today I started a juice fast.  I watched a film called Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead a few weeks ago and was fascinated by the idea of it.  I decided to give it a go and found a place that does pre-packaged, fresh juices.  I wasn't prepared to spend $200 on a juicer before trying this out.  I remembered this week that about 10...or maybe 15?...years ago my Dad bought a juicer thinking he could juice the stuff he grew in his garden.  He didn't do it for long, but the juicer is still around so I may give making my own juice a go in the future.  I figured that doing this on my "on" week at work would serve 2 purposes.  1. Keep me from eating all the things at night and 2. Provide me with an automatic low activity period.  Obviously I'm not doing 3-a-days on just juice, but I can run/walk and go to yoga which is my primary exercise on my on weeks.

You can feel free to judge me, just do it quietly, m'kay?  M'kay.

So breakfast this morning was juice (and tea).

Fantastic husband took the boys to the Y for gym day and I hopped on the treader.  It was a lovely day, but I had consumed a crapload of water, tea, and juice and figured I'd be needing the bathroom.  I did 5 miles on the treader and had to stop to pee 3 times.  So good call there.

I feel pretty, oh so pretty!

After I got my required miles in, I made lunch for the kids so it would be on the table when they got home from the Y.  Just in time to eat it and head to 4K.  I had a juice.  This one had cayenne pepper in it, and holy shit was that delicious. This one was apple, lemon, ginger, and cayenne and it was like angry lemonade in the best way possible.  Seriously, I have never considered adding pepper to something like this, but you bet your ass I'll be sprinkling cayenne into my lemonade this summer.  I had a cocktail after Ragnar Adirondacks that was maple with cayenne and I liked it, but this is waaaaaay better.  I bet it would RULE with vodka.


Since it was such a nice day I joined fantastic husband and crazy dog for a 3 miles of bonus walking.  These are my favorite kind of winter days.  Bright blue sky, mostly dry roads, and the painful brightness of the snow sparkling in the sun.  We had a nice walk with the dog...and about a quarter mile from home I needed to pee with frightening urgency.

I have to work tonight, so when we got home it was nap time.  I actually got a few hours of sleep, which was nice.  Sometimes I have difficulty sleeping my first day since I slept all night the night before.  I also slept "late" this morning as I wussed out on going to CrossFit.  No real reason, just didn't want to get up.  It happens.

I was awakened by a small boy playing a drum.  So I got up to pee and tried to go back to sleep...only to hear the dog freaking out for some reason.  Which basically meant it was time to get up.  Dinner was juice. This one was carroty.  Tasty, though.  I still have 4 juices left for "today" which I'll be drinking overnight. They're all "green" juices so less carrot and more leafy greens.  I have a box of mint tea and cinnamon tea as well.  I'm cutting caffeine down, but it will take a few days to eliminate it.  I don't need a 7 day headache.  


So it's back to the salt mine this evening.  This was a good off week.  I only put on real pants once and got in lots of good activity.  I discovered a deep love for my Champion sweats.  The size large open cuff ones fit perfectly (as long as I don't put them in the dryer-I've turned more sweat pants into sweat capris that way) and are much cheaper than the Nike ones.  I need to find some more of those.  I may never wear jeans again.

I'm doing okay with the juice so far.  Tonight will be the true test.  What I'm hoping to get out of this is a reprogramming of my taste buds (I don't eat enough veg, I get lazy and I skip it) and a greater understanding of how to deal with cravings.  I get to the point where I don't understand what hunger feels like anymore. Do you do this?  You're so programmed to eat every couple of hours that you never actually get hungry...or you DO get hungry but your response to it is overblown?  Hunger is a message.  Am I going to starve to death? Hell no.  I could live for weeks off my saddlebags alone, but I react as though I've never eaten before and will never eat again.  I'm going to work on that this week.  

I'm an experiment of one.  Bring it on!

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Blogging 2015: 107 down, 1908 to go

I had little visitors at 6am again this morning.  Little visitors demanding pancakes.  I make pancakes fairly frequently, I guess.  They love them and they are super easy to make.  I don't use a mix (seriously, what's in that stuff?) and I think my way is actually faster.  I've been using a Nigella Lawson recipe forever.  I have it memorized, which makes prep even quicker.

2 eggs
1&1/3 c milk
1tbsp baking powder
2 tbsp butter, melted
1tsp sugar (optional)
1&1/2 c flour

Place all ingredients in blender and blitz.  Then pour on a griddle and cook.  This would be a lousy smoothie.

While the kids chowed down I cut out frog clothes.  For real.  The boys had "homework" in the form of "Hey parent, cut out all this stuff so the kids can use it on Wednesday."  I of course had 2 sets to cut, and let me tell cutting skills are rusty.  I was going to type "my scissoring skills" but I don't want to start rumors.

Breakfast for me was oats and raspberries this morning with a nice cup of strong tea.
Warm and comforting.

I went south to pick up some stuff for tomorrow and got myself a juice for the ride home.  It's beets, apples, and limes.  It was pretty damn tasty.  Also oddly filling.  I did have a moment of panic later in the day when I peed pink.  I was all "AAAAHHH!  Blood!" and then remembered "NOOOO.  Beets."

Pretty colors.

I got home and fantastic husband and I decided to do something we've talked about for ages.  We walked to the Settlement bar and had lunch and a beer.  It's about 1.75 miles from our house to the Settlement.  We walked up there, had a big beer and shared some cheese curds and I had a haddock sandwich.  It was all delicious.  I don't think I've had a beer since Tyranena.  Then we walked back the long way and picked up the kids at school.  Total distance was 4.64 miles.  Not too shabby.  It was a pretty nice day out.

Dinner was Bora Bora Fireballs from Well Fed.  This is a recipe we've talked about for years but have never made.  They were tasty, kinda kicky.  Fantastic husband said they'd make a dandy appetizer if you cut the size down and I agreed.  

And an orange, because orange.

After supper and kid wrangling I hopped on the treadmill to round my distance up to 7 on the day.  I have no photographic proof as my phone was on the charger, so you'll have to take my word for it.  

Then I folded some laundry, knitted a bit of sock, and am getting ready to turn in.  Plan for tomorrow is to hit the box at 0515, then run while the kids are at gym day.  I have to get a nap tomorrow at some point so I'm not dragging all night.  Especially since Friday morning will be eaten up taking the dog to have her stitches removed.

This dog.  The one that thinks she's a person.

Ok, off to dreamland.  Yawn.

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Blogging 2015: 100 down, 1915 to go

Holy shit!  I hit 100 miles today.  Probably would've been more triumphant had I been running vs. dicking around with the dog.  Still, miles are miles.

She could barely contain her excitement.

Fantastic husband is working today, so I had to make my own breakfast which is total bullshit.  The kids did not complain about the eggs this morning!  It's a Martin Luther King Jr. Day miracle!


Walked the girl child to school and started my second sock.  I debated going to the box this morning, but lost track of time and...didn't.  Sue me.  Thursday morning 0515 is looking pretty good, though.

I made a frozen pizza for the boys' lunch and I had a chocolate banana smoothie.  

I also had a slice of frozen pizza.  It was pretty great.

The boys had 4k today, and they were itching to go back to school.  We walked over since it was such a nice day, and I continued on with the dog for my 5 mile "rest".  

I had a snack of honeyed brie and berries, because it's fucking delightful.

The kids did something to the DirecTV receiver in the basement, so there was much drama surrounding the lack of cartoons this afternoon.  They managed to survive.  

I made citrus carnitas for supper, which is magic pork.  You spice the meat, put it in a pot with lemon and lime juice and water...then just kind of let it boil for 2 hours until the water is gone and the meat caramelizes.  It is fantastic.

And the kids ate it without complaint.  
Pinch me.

We watched the muppets and snuggled after dinner, which was very pleasant.  If they go to bed without incident I might have to bronze one of them to commemorate today.  

I feel nice and recovered, so tomorrow it's back to running vs. walking with some planks thrown in for good measure.  

I spent some time today trying on my vacation clothes and swimsuits.  I hate clothes.  About half the stuff I tried on fit fine and I thought "Hey, I look pretty decent in this!" and the other half I tried on and thought "Sweet chocolate Christ, what the fuck is this?"  Don't get me started on the horror that is trying on swimsuits.  One top is too big, but the size down is so small it hurts.  The bottoms are either large and baggy or so tight they cut. The bottom fits fine but the top is all crazy.  Who designs this shit?  But, I'm working on not caring.  Most of my stuff fits fine, and it's not like I'm going to see most of these people again anyway.  They get to look at me in all my muffin-top, stretch mark and spider veined glory.  Lucky bastards.

One hundred miles.  I'm kind of impressed with myself.

Monday, January 19, 2015

Blogging 2015: 95 down, 1920 to go

Today was a no school day for the kids, so like all good parents we put them in daycare so we could hang out and do what we wanted.

This morning we had a little quiet time with the laundry and dishes, then went for some core yoga together. No selfie.  I can sense your disappointment.

Fantastic husband made me breakfast.

After yoga we got some chow and then went to the grocery store to shore up our home supplies.  It was very exciting.  One thing that parenthood has done to my marriage is turn all "date nights" into "random stupid errand running" nights.  Even if we go on an actual date...a meal and a movie, golf, etc...we still end up stopping for a gallon of milk or (back in the day) a bag of diapers or some other utterly boring, non-romantic, mundane thing.  I guess it's kind of romantic?  Taking care of our family together?  Or something.

Sweet potato fries are amazing.

After lunch and errands we took the dog for a 3 mile walk, then dropped her off (she's supposed to be taking it easy still) and then continued on for another 3 miles.  Today was about recovery, so it was just a nice stroll.

We picked up the kids and walked them home from daycare.  Dinner was leftovers because we forgot that citrus carnitas take 3 hours to cook.  Oh well, tomorrow.

Brat and carrot fries.

And that's it.  That's all.  Exciting, right?  I'm almost done with a sock, which is exciting to me but probably not to you.

Tomorrow is a toss up.  I'm still pretty sore from the last few days and my hamstrings are super tight. Might just be some good stretching and walking on the treader, but that could change based on how I feel in the morning.  

I like a dull day now and then.  It's good for the spirit to have some time to recharge.

Sunday, January 18, 2015

Blogging 2015: 89 down, 1926 to go

D'oh.  I should've gone for one more mile.

Some time during the night I got a bed buddy.  Fantastic husband was working, and about 50% of the time when he's on shift one of the boys decides to sleep in my bed.  He was sneaky, bringing two stuffed animals and his blanket over the course of the night.  I became aware of him around 4am when he started snoring.  It was kind of precious.  I let him be.

At around 6:30 the other boy-child bounced in and the usual morning litany began.  Once everyone was settled with their french toast and pears, I made myself a bowl of oatmeal with diced apples and maple pecans.

This was delightful.

I was pretty locked up from the last few days, so I decided to head over to the box for cold broga.  I got an hour of good stretching and then headed home so fantastic husband could go out for his run. No selfie.  I know you're disappointed.

I ate an orange.  You know what that looks like.

After fantastic husband finished up his run, I went out for mine.  No treader today because it was damn near 40 degrees!  No gloves even!  My legs were like fucking lead, though.  After the last few days I was spent. Took just shy of an hour to cover 5 miles.

That no parking sign is PROMINENT. 

After this run I pretty much dove into the shower...because I hadn't showered in almost 48 hours.  And I worked out 1...2...3...4...5 times in that time frame including today's run.  That's so gross, y'all.  I mean, I washed my face and put on clean clothes and deodorant, but still.  Gross.

Lunch was a couple of brats and a margarita, because SOMEONE drank ALL THE BEER.  And no, Judgy McJudgerson, it wasn't me.  I haven't had a beer in months.  I probably could've had some veg, but I just didn't care enough at that point.


So yeah.  The Packers played today.  They lost, which was really fucking sad.  Can't say it wasn't an exciting game, though, considering I've suddenly developed a heart arrhythmia and the intense desire to resume smoking.

I did make a lot of progress on my sock, though, so there's that.  At one point during the game I consumed some cheese in solidarity.  SOLIDARITY, MOTHERFUCKER!

French cheese counts, right?

After that heartbreaking loss, we had Czech meatballs.  It helped a little.  

Just a little.

Tomorrow the smalls will go to daycare since there's no school, and fantastic husband and I will get to spend a little time together.  I plan to go to yoga for some core work, then a nice recovery walk.  I really felt like my legs were made of rock on today's run.  It was a gorgeous day and I'm glad I went, but it's definitely time for a day or two of easy miles.

And now to watch Pats and the Colts.  It'd be cool if the Colts won, but that's looking unlikely.  Stupid Patriots.  

Back to the socks, then early to bed.  Another week begins!

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Blogging 2015: 84 down, 1931 to go

I stayed up until 9pm last night!  That's almost a normal adult bedtime.  I'm a little impressed that I made it that long.  This morning I had two little visitors in my bed at around 6am.  It always starts out so cute, with little fingers tangled in my hair and cuddles.  Then the inevitable question: "What'ssss for breakfasssst?"

And because I am apparently a short order cook, suggestions are immediately bandied about.  Chocolate chip pancakes! No! Blueberry pancakes! Eggs! Cereal! Wait, would you make cinnamon rolls?

So I sent them down the hall to get dressed and hoped for some toaster waffles.  When I got out of bed I felt like I got a roundhouse straight to the spine by Chuck Norris himself.  I could barely bend.  That is a sad state.  My hamstrings were tight, but that's no big deal.  I wondered what the hell had gone wrong (I do have kind of a bad back in that I have scoliosis and sometimes things slip out of alignment) and hustled downstairs to foam roll on the toothy foam roller of doom.

Hurts so good.

So I rolled and stretched and's not my back.  It's my stupid fucking uterus.  Fucking up my life yet again.

The kids came downstairs and I made toaster waffles and peeled a couple of oranges.  For myself I made a couple of fried eggs, some bacon, and some mango.  You'll have to take my word for it.

I was hungry.

I took the kids with me to CF this morning.  They had a blast with the other kids and I practically had to pry them out of there.  The workout was brutal, even scaled down pretty considerably for my shouty back and my partner's gimpy knee.  Still, I'm glad I went.  I need to get the boys signed up for CrossFit Kids.  They'll be 5 in 2 short months!

Everyone got a workout.

I wasn't feeling much for lunch, so I had a jumped up snack. Brie, berries, and maple glazed pecans.

I. Love. Brie.

I sent the kids upstairs to "nap" which is asinine because they hardly ever do, but if I'm lucky I can at least get a little quiet time out of them.  Today their nap was my treadmill time. 40 degrees out and I'm on the fucking mill.  

I watched "Married at First Sight: The First Year" while I ran.  Last year fantastic husband and I watched a show called Married at First Sight about three couples who were matched up by experts but didn't meet until their wedding day.  It was fascinating.  I understand there's going to be a second season.  You know I'll be watching that shit.  Probably on the treadmill.  

After my run I had an orange.


Gave the kids a snack then took the dog out for a walk.  It was amazingly warm and wonderful outside, and I was really looking forward to a nice leisurely walk.  When am I going to learn that walking with the kids is a soul sucking activity?  I've never thought of myself as an optimist, but I must be, because I always start out thinking what a nice day it is and how great the fresh air will be.  Then I end up either literally dragging children along, or shouting at them to stop sprinting down the sidewalk out of sight.  Today I did both.  The boys were rocketing down the sidewalk...and the girl was dragging ass behind me, whining all the way.  So instead of doing a nice 2-3 mile walk we got 1.2 and I got a headache and lost the will to live.  

At least we tired out the dog.

Dinner was Wildtree Adobo chicken and cumin roasted carrots.  The chicken was kickier than anticipated, which I heard some significant whining about.  I liked it.  The carrots got mixed reviews.  "These carrots smell weird" "These are delicious, is there cinnamon on these?" "I tried a bite of this carrot, and I don't like it at all".  I thought they were good, and a nice change up from just plain veggies.  

Like carrot fries.

I did some dishes and some cooking today, but that's about it. I had big plans for other cleaning, but there's always tomorrow, right?  I did some knitting.  That's kind of domestic.

This was another good week.  To recap:
Goal: CrossFit 2 days Achieved
Goal: Yoga 2 days Achieved
Goal: Run every day Achieved

Now I shall set up a movie and make some popcorn for the ungrateful brat brigade.

Is it time for vacation yet?