Saturday, March 30, 2013

Sugar Detox Week 1: Smooth Sailing

So I'm seven days into the detox.  It's going well.  No cheating, and aside from a three day headache at the beginning (my own fault for getting positively drunk on sugar the week prior), no side effects.

After 7 days of detoxing I have dropped 5 pounds of water and my abs are back.  Such as they are.  I am also sleeping better, which is a bonus.

Detoxing can be a double edged sword when you're distance/weight training.  I can honestly say that my CrossFit abilities seem to be heightened when I'm off sugar, though that is not the norm.  I attribute that to the increased protein consumption.  I eat a lot of protein normally (hell, I eat a lot of everything normally), but when fruit is removed from the snacking realm I find myself going for jerky and boiled eggs along with some serious veg.  My protein and fiber intake skyrockets, which translates to good stuff in the gym.  From a running perspective, the reduced carbs end up meaning less gas in the tank.  For short runs and speed work this is a non-issue.  For long runs?  Trouble.

I'm going to be experimenting with a different fuel source on tomorrow's 11 miler.
I give you the Larabar.
Larabar.  They rock.  They are Paleo (many varieties are).  They are not strictly sugar detox approved, because the base is made from dates.  Here's the thing-I have to violate the detox to run long.  The last couple of long runs I've used ShotBlocks the way I did in the past.  This was not a good idea.  Two words:  Gastric Emergency   I'm going to give the Larabar a shot as distance fuel.  They have around 25g of sugars per bar, so I see no reason it wouldn't work.  The texture is pretty soft and at least as easy to chew as ShotBlocks, but not as sickeningly sweet.
I've also been experimenting with new snacks.
Kale chips.  Like garlic popcorn with iron.
These things are pretty damn good.  Easy to make (slice the stalks away from the leaves, tear into chip size pieces, lightly toss with olive oil until toasted, bake on foil or parchement at 350 for 12-15 min or until crips) and easy to eat.  They are very filling.  I understand that kale is a memeber of the same family as garlic, so baking them brings out the garlic flavor.  I hate steamed kale, it is bitter as fuck, but these are completely different.
So week one went well.  Weeks 2 and 3 are always harder for me, though.  It's when the novelty wears off, the weight loss slows down, and you just want to eat Cadbury eggs.  I'll get through it, though.  I have before.  One thing that might help a bit is some Paleo bread I got today at Woodman's.  It's not like "real" bread, but it makes a dandy fried egg sandwich.  Something I have been missing deeply lately.
With bacon.  Duh.
Today at CrossFit we were doing Open WOD 13.4.  It was a ladder: 95# clean and jerk then Toes to Bar 3/3-6/6-9/9 etc.  My personal best clean before today was 85# and my best push press was 90#.  I was scared shitless of this workout.  I can do toes to bar.  I can.  I've been doing a crapload of situps since the first of the year, and my core can handle that movement now.  Problem was, I had to hit not one, not two, but THREE 95# clean/jerk before doing toes to bar.  Let's just say I spent the 7 min WOD bitterly failing at the clean portion of the clean and jerk with owner/coach Grant shouting me through it and two fellow members trying to psychicly help me up out of the squat hole.  It didn't work.  Big fat goose egg for the WOD.  However, Grant wanted me to try again after the I did.  I failed the jerk, but I hit a 95# clean I thought was 90# and then a 100# clean I thought was 95#.  Because I can't do math.  So I walked out having failed at the WOD...but with a 15# clean PR.
Also?  I totally cried at CrossFit.  Because I am lame as fuck.
Last month I got some ink.
Yes, that is my bathroom.
It's symbolic.  My children's names are represented with the symbols for their saints.  On the inside of my bicep there is a wound that bleeds tears and the date 1/22/09-the day I lost what would have been our second child.  On my back is the phrase "No one else will ever understand the strength of my love for you.  Only you have heard my heartbeat from the indside."
I need to get musculature worthy of this tattoo. 
And finally, my little baby boys are three.  Hard to believe.  They are loud and fearless and infuriating.  Here they are at Sir Bounce A Lot with the most fun ride.  The water fountain.
You should try a sugar detox, even if you're already Paleo.  It's a fantastic kick start.  It's also a giant eye-opener for the hidden sugars in fucking everything.  Give it a go-even if you only make it a week.
Until next time...

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Something's Got To Give

Man.  Where to start?  I haven't blogged in a million years, and it's not for lack of activities to write about.  Mostly it's because I feel out of sorts.  In fact, I don't really know how to make this flow, so why don't I just break it into parts?


I changed jobs.  I'm now a home infusion pharmacist.  The job is different enough to be interesting, but not so different as to be disorienting.  I'm starting to get the hang of it, which is good, because I've been flying fucking solo for almost 2 weeks now.  The techs I work with are fucking rock stars, which is great because I would be really screwed if they sucked. I worked with a lot of great techs at my old job, don't get me wrong, but because these two are the ONLY two? They know their jobs backwards and forwards and they can produce.  My pharmacist partner is a complete 180 from my previous work partner.  For starters he and I are the same age.  I don't meet many testosto-pharmys my age.  We are mostly of the gyno variety.  He's vain, controlling, and requires constant validation.  That said?  Clearly a great pharmacist, and super fun to work with.  As with many of my relationships, I am the dude in this one.  I used to work with his wife, who is a saint for living with him, even though the selfish bitch had the nerve to crap out a kid thereby leaving me alone in the office with a whopping 5 weeks of experience under my elasitc drawstring waist.  (Love you, Bets!)  What's really killing me is this 5 days a week garbage.


I am totally half assing my marathon training.  I switched to a Run Less, Run Faster program for the 3 days a week of it all.  I'm definitely doing the "Run Less" part.  As with my last attempt at this program, I have yet to do a tempo run.  I am forced because of my schedule to do the bulk of my running on the treadmill and it is killing me.  My new treader is the bomb, don't get me wrong.  It is state of the art freaking awesome, but I HATE that I am forced to run on it almost exclusively.  Not being able to run outside makes me die a little inside.  Not getting a 5 days a week dose of sunlight in the winter months? Is making me depressed and irritable.  I didn't realize until I couldn't do it just how much of a lift outdoor winter training gave me.  I love winter training, and I've hardly done any.  That makes me sad.  I keep telling myself that )now that there are more daylight hours) running in the evening is a viable option.  Once it gets warmer I'll go out in the pre-dawn light again for runs, but with all this shitty snow then ice then dry then ice then snow we've had around here?  I can't catch a break.  Last weekend we ran the inagural Two Rivers 10-mile.  It was great.  Freezing cold and sunny, then a little snow.  I finished in 1:48:15 and felt really great.  Then I got stuck treadmill running all week.  And now I feel run down.  The treadmill is making me not want to run, and that is not okay.


I am totally half assing Crossfit.  I signed up for the Open, which has been motivating, but man do I suck at things I should be better at by now.  I need to go in more than twice a week to keep improving, but I just can't get there that often AND fail at marathon training.  I need to fail at one thing at a time, I guess.  The last Open WOD I did?  12 min AMRAP of wall balls, double unders, and muscle ups.  Now, I can wall ball...but this was with a 14lb ball.  I've never used a 14lb ball.  Why?  Because I'm a damn chicken.  I did 85 wall balls before time ran out.  That is pathetic, and my quads are still spasming on the stairs after that.  Thank god for my year long challenge or I never would've been able to do all those squats.    I'm going to finish the Open and take ownership of my half-assery.  When this marathon is done (June 22!!), I am taking the running hiatus I never took last year and I'm going to make Crossfit a priority.  It makes me better, and when I'm making the effort, it makes me feel strong.  It makes me love myself, because I understand what a beautiful machine my body is.  It also drops my mile splits without speed work.  Can't argue with that.


I am shit at handling stress.  Well, that's not true.  I've always been really, really good at handling stress.  I can work through anything, accomplish anything, and look like I'm doing fine (aside from some serious cursing).  All I have to do is get fat.  Yep.  I eat my feelings in the form of shitty carbs and I get fat.  I compulsively stuff myself with garbage as a coping mechanism.  It works, on the surface.  Then I eat a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream and feel like I'm going to fucking die.  For real.  My guts rose up against me, and when I woke up the next morning?  Let's just say I would've felt better if I'd gotten drunk.  I made it through this round of self medication without too much damage to my waistline, but only because...


I am detoxing again, starting today.  I have been off the Paleo wagon for about 12 days and I feel like shiiiiiiiiit.  That ends now.  Why do I keep going back into habits that make me feel so awful?  That's got to be some kind of self-loathing.  I mean, I'm like a goddamn drug addict with this shit.  It's scary.  I already feel better, honestly.  If the last two rounds repeat themselves I'll be down about 8lbs of water and sorrow by Saturday.  Damage (see Stress.) negated.  Straight and narrow rediscovered.

So there you have it.  I just laid all my shit out on the table.  I have been totally half-assing my life.  That has to stop.  I'm a grown-ass woman with responsibilities, true, but I have to do the things I love.  I have to take care of myself or I'll be stuck in this sneaky hate spiral forever. 

I'm planning to blog my detox this time around.  I promise there will be pictures instead of a series of fucked-up dissertations.

Do you every half-ass your life?  Come on, make me feel like I'm not alone :)