Thursday, December 31, 2015

Blogging 2015: Year in Review

I can't believe another year has gone by. If it weren't for the photostream on my phone I don't think I could remember anything that happened. What can I say? I had 3 kids and my brain is Swiss cheese.

I started this year with the lofty goal of running 2015 miles in 2015. I made around 1000 miles, which isn't too shabby. I'm not sorry I let that number go, as I ended up reaping major rewards by focusing on other areas of my fitness instead of just running, running, running all the time.

The year started out in Minneapolis with the Polar Dash 10K. It was a nice race, I'd do it again.

I fucking love this hat. I still wear it all the time.

This past winter was a freakishly cold one, but that didn't stop me from getting some outside miles.

Straight ninja, son.

Fantastic husband and I were able to get away on a cruise in February. Aside from some seasickness (for him, I don't get seasick) we had a great time. We got shitfaced on the beach, learned to surf, hiked the Pitons in St. Lucia, and swam naked in the ocean on St. Martin. It was pretty much awesome. We also got to trot out our matchy-match clothes for Valentine's Day.

So cute you could puke cartoon chipmunks.

I loved swimming naked in the ocean so much that I almost immediately booked a week in St. Martin for our 10th anniversary in May. Seven days in an apartment on the beach. Paddleboarding, hiking, kayaking, and skinny dipping in broad daylight. I can't wait.

In March we did the Point Bock Run, because we always do. I was a little slow, but I was on shift so that's not really a surprise. It was a nice day and we had fun. Might do this one again...even though I'm on shift this year, too.

I had a root beer, because alcohol + no sleep = coma.

I was on a yarn diet this year, which means I purchased no yarn and no tools. I joined a sock club at the end of 2014, so I got 6 skeins of yarn for that, but I knitted every single one of them into a pair of socks. I also made some epic shit with yarn I already had. I'm considering remaining on my diet through 2016 to knit up the remaining yarn in my stash. It's kind of fun to match projects with yarn. Like a scavenger hunt.

Why yes, I make my own socks.

I also finished this incredible shawl. It's a star chart of the Northern Hemisphere, with beads. It took almost 8 months to complete, but it is so beautiful. I'm as proud of this as I am of anything I've ever made.

The color is called TARDIS blue.

This year fantastic husband FINALLY agreed to join my cult...I mean CrossFit box. He's been resisting for 3 years, but finally caved. Mostly because the kids started doing CF kids and it's more cost effective to have a family membership. Whatever. 

He looks super happy, yeah?

We also went out to Utah in June to run Ragnar Wasatch Back. We only did one Ragnar this year because of some other planned racing in the fall, but it was pretty epic. Beautiful scenery and some of our favorite running people. Can't wait to see them again next October in Hawai'i!

Yay, medal!

I started growing out my hair this year in preparation for my 40th birthday hike in 2017. Sounds stupid, right? Well, my hair doesn't grow terribly fast and I want it good and long so I can tie it up in a knot and forget about it while we're walking across Scotland for a week. This was the first day I managed a ponytail. With like a million barrettes.


At the close of the school year, C managed to freakishly bruise his growth plate, so he was a tripod for a bit. Sucked for him to close out 4K that way, but he healed up just fine, no harm done.

He got pretty good on the crutches.

In May I locked down my diet and shed about 15 pounds. I've kept them off, and I'm proud of that. Here I am trying not to panic before heading to a wedding.

Fuck yeah, maxi skirt!

In July I had some sexy pictures taken. Ostensibly for my husband, but also for me. So I can look back when I'm old and decrepit and say "I used to be hot."

This one's my favorite. I love it.

I got back to a few things I used to do all the time this summer. Not as much as I would have liked, but I will, and this was a start.

Back on my motorcycle. Practicing in the parking lot.

Back in my kayak, on the East River.

In July I totaled my trusty Mazda.


So I got another one exactly like the old one and we took the kids on vacation to the Wisconsin Dells.

Paul Bunyan.

In August we went out to Oregon to run Hood to Coast. It was an experience.

Rain, rain, and more rain.

When we got back it was time for these weirdos to GO TO SCHOOL FULL TIME! FUCK YEAH! FREEDOM!!

Seriously, GTFO of my house.

I ran a couple of half marathons in September (totally half assed) and then in October we went to Pennsylvania to run 4 races in 3 days. It was pretty awesome.

So cute you could punch a bunny.

I also participated in a 30 day yoga challenge in October. Doing yoga 5 times a week completely reshaped my upper body. I am stronger and infinitely more flexible than before, and the challenge was the impetus for me to continue doing yoga 4-5 days a week since.

Tree pose. This photo was the first time I realized how much smaller
I am than before. Even at 160#

I discovered a deep love of striped leggings.

Fuckin' handstands.

I also started wearing shorts for running for the first time EVER. I decided that I don't give a shit who sees my bruises, spider veins, and cellulite. If the weather is fine, I'm in my lulu shorts and I look great.

And tall socks. All the tall socks.

My hair has been growing out for damn near a year and it was making me so bored I wanted to chop it all off. But I can't do that because I need a goddamn ponytail 18 months from now. So instead I got a little more vivid.

Crayola red. Much less dull.

I realized finally that the reason my squats are so shitty is that my glutes are lazy. I hauled out my bar and started adding weighted hip thrusts to my routine. In my fabulous home gym. Sigh.

This is why we can't have nice things.

This November I finally got the tattoo I've been designing in my head for the past 2 years. Now that it's finally healed I'm planning what will go on my left quadriceps. I'm thinking either a Darwinian tree of life, or the chemical formulae for carbon, hydrogen, oxygen etc and the words "I am made of star stuff". We'll see.

Fuck yeah medicinal plants.

So this year has been up and down, but mostly up as most years are. I learned a lot about myself. I got better at a lot of things...and realized I could be better still. That's what 2016 will be about. Incremental self improvement. This photo is me closing out the year in the salt mine. Another year older, another year wiser, another year better. People mourn the loss of their youth, but I don't. I feel like I've never been in a better place. So many amazing things are coming in the next few years. Goals, travel, exciting new experiences. I'm looking forward to watching it unfold.

38 years old. 10pm. No filters.
Suck it, Father Time.

I hope 2015 was good to you, and when 2016 dawns that you're ready to receive it with an open mind and heart. Fuck yeah, shiny New Year!

Sunday, December 20, 2015

Blogging 2015: 940 down, 1075 to go

So it's clear that I'm not making the 2015 in 2015, but overall I didn't do too badly. Considering that I barely ran this fall except to race, that is. I've only recently started running with any kind of regularity, and only casually (three times a week-ish). I've had a couple of email exchanges with my running coach and he assures me I'll have my training plan in my hot little hands this week. Good. I've already planned out my yoga schedule for January, and I can wrap my running schedule around it and then poke in some CrossFit.

I've been doing a decent job keeping my fitness level high. I've not been as strict with my diet as I had been previously so I'm up about 2 pounds from my lowest, which is okay. I love a shiny New Year for refocusing on goals. I'll be a good kid this week (for the most part) and then I'll get after 2016 with laser-like focus. Or not, because I'm basically a sloth. That's why I engaged a running coach. I'll do what people tell me to do, I just can't motivate myself.

My basement bar has been getting some use lately. By that I mean my Oly bar and plates. I've been doing my weighted hip thrusts at Kim's behest (working up to 135#, I'm at 125# right now). Overnights last week were pretty dull so I also got in a bunch of Bulgarian split squats and walking lunges. Sitting has been ouchy, but at least moving around keeps me awake when the orders aren't coming in.

Currently I'm participating in the "12daysofxmas" yoga challenge at Jenstar. One pose every day posted to instagram. Here's what I've done so far.

Downward facing dog, child's pose, low plank.

Wheel, crow, boat, warrior 2.

The crow picture was a third attempt, and I needed an assist into wheel. I need to work on my shoulder and wrist mobility in the coming year. I have the strength to do wheel, but I lack some flexibility. It's funny, I always think about flexibility as being a legs/hips thing, but a lot of it is really your back and shoulders as well. I'm a lot bendier than I was a year or two ago, but I there are always improvements to be made. Flexibility is good. Nothing wrong with being limber. So many things to be better at, and nothing but time.

Yesterday I drank a great deal of wine and made cookies with the smalls.

Final stage. Sugar every-fucking-where.

I didn't drink entirely alone. A friend came by for a puppy party and she helped a bit. The kids had early Giftmas with their Aunt and were safely tucked into bed at 8pm. I was not far behind them. I haven't been hungover in ages, since I barely drink anymore. I wasn't exactly hungover this morning, but I definitely felt the after effects of the wine. No workout yesterday because kids/cookies and none today...felt too blah. I'll be back at the box for the five-one-five in the morning, though. Yoga at 1030 and more hip thrusts and split squats later on. Possibly a couple miles, too, but I have a lot of other shit to do. We'll see.

Favorite gift? Toothbrushes. I can't even.

Tonight we went to the Garden of Lights. The kids seemed to like it, when they weren't whining about being hungry (after having a sizeable dinner less than 45 minutes previous). 


You may recall that I had a Mirena placed in April (or not, it's not like you've memorized the life and times of my fucking uterus...and if you have, don't tell me, because that's weird as hell) in hopes that it would keep my internal organs from trying to kill me.  Well, it did not have the desired effect. I won't say it's been a nightmare, because that isn't true. It's been more like a really annoying dream. You know, one of those dreams that you have over and over and you wake up out of it thinking "What the fuck was that?" but you can't put your finger on what was so weird about the dream? No? Just me then?  Whatever.

So at the moment my uterus is pretty pissed off. She is annoyed as hell with the little plastic intruder and is making me pay for it. 

WTF is this thing? I don't like it.

My uterus has really gotten her mascara game together in the last 8 months. Kinda shit with the eyeliner, though.

So after waiting the suggested 6 months for shit to "even out" I basically called my Gyn and said "This is some horseshit. Yank this motherfucker and ablate. ABLATE ABLATE!"  My Gyn responded "No prob, how's 1/19? We'll burn some shit down." because he's cool like that.  Also I may have threatened to damage his home. 

So what's an ablation? Basically they jam a lightsabre up your cooch and burn out your endometrium.  

Lightsabre. Green, 'cause it's pretty.

Well, not really. It's a radiofrequency ablation, not an electrical ablation, but you get the idea.

Seriously. fucking die.

And then I go back to living life extra-hormone-and-chainsaw-massacre free. Hopefully. This shit is supposed to last 10ish years. I really hope that's the case. I'm so done right now. Apparently my doc likes to narc the shit out of patients before the procedure (which takes all of 5 seconds, so whatever) so I'll get to try some new and exciting drugs, including Percocet. I'm pretty stoked. The only controlled substance I've ever had was a few Vicodin after I got Frankensteined back together after my twins were born. I'm looking forward to this as market research.  I will apparently also get to try Celebrex and Xanax. FUN. I feel like that's overkill, but what do I know...I'm just a pharmacist.

With luck and baby dolphins I'll be back to normal activity the next day and running problem free into the spring.

And now it's time for bed. Early to bed, early to rise makes a woman...some inspirational shit that is usually attributed to Ben Franklin. 

Tomorrow some thoughts on the Solstice...

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Blogging 2015: 923 down, 1092 to go

Well shit. It's been a whole month since I've been in the mood to spill random details of my life all over the internet. You're welcome, or I'm sorry...whichever fits you.

After having the better part of October off, I spent most of November in the salt mine. I picked up some shifts to cover for my alter making a 10 day stretch, and ended up working an 8 day stretch as Thanksgiving was my holiday this year and I didn't get my requested PTO the weekend after.

One moment for a slightly tangential rant: Third shift the night before the holiday being counted as the holiday? Is some bullshit. Basically for 7 years I don't get to celebrate any winter holidays. That's what I get for being essential.

So I was busy in November. Busy making that money. Which I promptly spent on workout clothes, because that is my life now. If I can't do it in leggings and a tank top, I'm out. I have utterly lost the ability to dress myself in normal people clothes. Although I do fit into a pair of jeans I'd written off, so there's that. I'm wearing them now as a matter of fact...with a race shirt from 2 years ago. Because I can't clothes.

I've been fighting the demon virus from hell for the last eight-ish days, and I'm fairly certain it's making the flip to bacterial as evidenced by the fact that I can't hear. Or rather, I can, but in the way you can hear when you're under water. That makes it easier to ignore my kids and dog, but it makes other things (like obsessively listening to my new favorite album) decidedly more difficult. I took 3 days off of working out, and I felt even shittier, so I went back to 3-a-days and now I still feel shitty but at least I don't feel guilty.

Today I got up early and made myself some coffee, then nuked a breakfast burrito that fantastic husband made this week. It was tasty.

Egg, cheese, sausage, and a (gasp) flour tortilla.

Fantastic husband and I had kicked around the idea of running 3 miles before heading to the box, but my massive quantities of medication hadn't kicked in yet so we opted out. Good thing, too. We got to CF and face a box jump pyramid (with fucking burpees again) sandwiched between two 800m runs. That would've sucked waaaaay more if my legs were already tired. As it was, I managed a box jump PR (by 2 inches! woo!) and finished with a respectable time. I also did 50 GHDs...I could only do 30 unbroken before my fluid filled ears started protesting. I had to do the last 20 as sets of 10. Afterwards I was dizzy. I hate being sick. If I ever get a chronic illness I am going to make everyone around me miserable. 

Then I jumped in the car and headed over to yoga. I ate this apple on the way. 

Honeycrisp. Mmmm.

When I got to the studio I got to listen to a woman tell me how she spent $400 at Costco because her family eats ALL ORGANIC OH EMM GEEEEEE!!!!! I was sort of tempted to say "I have no clue where this apple came from I didn't even rinse it OH EMM GEEEEEEE!!!" But I didn't. Because while I'm an asshole, I can sometimes successfully keep my mouth shut. Sometimes. So I did the stretchy bendy and then came home to find my "grab bag" tank top from INKnBURN had arrived.

So pretty. Ermahgehrd.

I also thought maybe some food, but while I'd love to show you a picture of a pretty plate of salmon and asparagus...I actually ate this energy bar. Win some, lose some.

Two servings my ass. ONE. ONE SERVING.

Then I went for a run. I had 3 on the calendar, but I did a full mile at CF so I went out for 2ish. It was warmish today but also weirdly humid and kind of windy. The miles felt good, even though my legs were cashed. I could've skipped it, but I'm glad I went.

Totally smiling on the inside.

Fantastic husband and I arranged for the kids to go to daycare after school so we could have some adult time. Before we had kids we used to just hang out all the time. I miss that. I suppose we get to hang out child free a lot more than most people because of our bizzaro schedules, but there's always some thing that needs to be done. Laundry, shopping, food prep, dishes, cleaning, get the picture. Today we just spent a few hours being together. It was lovely. 

Then I swallowed another handful of pills and went back to drinking motherfucking tea.

I'm so fucking sick of tea.

Dinner tonight was a rotisserie chicken from Festival and some frozen beans. Serviceable. And yes, that's a Diet Coke. Sometimes I drink a Diet Coke. Get the fuck off me.

It's food.

Last weekend I made hand pies with the kids. I make a lard based pie crust and we cut out circles and fill them with fruit (cherry in this case). The kids get a charge out of dishing the filling and crimping the crusts with a fork. It's fun, as long as I have a shitload of wine before and during. I'm not exactly Type A, I mean, if you've seen my house you know I'm an ambitionless sloth when it comes to things domestic. But I do like things done a certain way. The right way. My way. That makes things like baking as a family profoundly un-fun. But if I have a few glasses of fizzy wine? I am fun mommy. Fun mommy is patient and kind, she explains things 87 times and doesn't give a shit if you're mashing the hell out of the edge of the pie crust for nogoddamnreasonstopitstopitstopitomgwheresthewine. Fun mommy ignores all that stuff and enjoys the moment. The pies turned out great, and P took a bunch of them to school for classroom snack. They were well received. Just 2 left tonight, so I had one.

I do love this crust recipe.

Tonight I have to go to Walgreens to get Sudafed, because I'm out and I'm under water without it.  I have to wait, though, because having spent many years working behind the counter during the 5-7pm hours? I wouldn't go in there now if you paid me. Plus I'm not wearing any make-up and I let my hair air dry today. So I look like this.

I'm going to get treated like a drug addict.

Tomorrow I'm going to attempt the heretofore unmentioned 4-a-day. I'll likely be comatose by 8:30 tonight (fuck this fucking virus). CrossFit at 0515 tomorrow. At 9am my friend the personal trainer is going to come over and help me figure out how to work my ass. That sounds stupid, but basically I have lazy glutes...I do everything I'm supposed to do with my ass with my quads instead. That's why I can't squat for shit. So she's going to help me figure out what's up with my lazy ass so I can squat more. And look better in leggings. I also have a 4 mile run planned which will probably happen right before noon yoga.

And then? Then I'm going to meet fantastic husband out for Indian food buffet style. And I'm going to fucking stuff myself full of samosas. And chili chicken. Mmmmmm....chili chicken. 

So yeah. I remain boring as shit. I was going to toss in some clumsy drawings of my uterus for funsies, but that will have to wait. 

I can already taste the samosas...