Monday, December 26, 2011

Here's to a Smurfing Awesome New Year

Well, I made it through Christmas. Alcohol helped. I don't even have a hangover, and do you know why?

Because if you're tore up before 2pm and then stop drinking, you will be sober again before the Packer game at 7pm. Sober before bed = no hangover. Woot.

Let's start with the bad news:
1. My Dad is now Hospice.
2. I gained 5lbs in 10 days.

Obviously one is worse than the other. However, I think engaging Hospice now while he's still 100% independent of cares (in other words, he can still bathe/eat/poop without help) was a very good, rational decision on his part. He is handling this as well as a person could, and I believe it is the right choice for all of us. It's hard, but we're working together to make the best of it.

Now, for the second bit. I have been eating all. the. things. for two weeks. Part of it is emotional, part of it is hormonal, part of it is water :) As of today I am off sugar and alcohol. I was really starting to feel cruddy, and my motivation was lagging pretty badly. I already feel better after one day totally off my "drug", and I'm looking forward to spending the next two weeks getting my low-carb mojo on.

My marathon program starts 1/1/12 for the Cellcom on 5/20/12. I am really stoked about starting! The weather has been wintry awesome here for the last couple of weeks and I am ready to get some bracing fresh air and many miles under my (ever loosening) belt. My plan is to be a lean, mean marathon machine come May!

In addition to the marathon, and all the races that lead up to it, I was lucky enough to get on a Ragnar team with a bunch of fabulous bloggy-type ladies! We're doing Madison to Chicago on June 8-9, and I'm very excited about it. I need the camraderie and motivation that goes along with training for something like this, and I think it's going to be lots of fun.

Team name: The Panty Raiders

Now all I need is a nickname....

Oh, I managed to crank out more handknits in the last 4 weeks than in the previous 9 months combined! I made Christmas stockings for my whole family, a blanket for my Grandma, a bunch of little stocking ornaments, and a pair of socks for me. They were supposed to be for the sister, but I bound off the cuff too tight and there is no way she'd be able to get them over her heels.

I have rediscovered knitting in a big way, and I'm all set to start teaching myself fancy colorwork.

I might be prematurely 90. My husband is always teasing me about my antiquated vocabulary and proclivity for odd old-fashioned handicrafts and recipes.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Smurf My Life

Like the title? It's part of my New Year's Resolution.

I like to curse. Actually, I love to curse. Profanity is awesome. There are few things in life as satisfying as a well-deserved F-bomb.

Here's the problem: I have a boat load of little kids. They are rapidly becoming little parrots. I have to curtail the profanity, or I'm going to have one of those little CPS moments in the grocery store. You know the kind...when your kids yells "Mommy, don't hit me!!" even though you've never raised a hand to them? Or screams out "You are a BITCH!" when there are seven dozen grandmother's in pearl clutching distance?

How will I quit cursing, you ask? I have decided to insert the word "smurf" in place of the intended swear word. We practiced today at work. It was all kinds of hilarious. Try it. I'll wait.

See? Awesome.

So why "smurf" my life? Well I'll tell you.

A couple of weeks ago, my Dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Yep, that's the kind that killed Patrick Swayze and Steve Jobs. It is going to kill my father. Probably soon. He is stage IV, though the oncologist says stage IV does not adequately describe his situation...there is simply no classification beyond stage IV. He has opted for chemo to try and shrink the tumor and quell the metastases. It is largely pointless. It breaks my heart to see him trying to process that the end of his life is near. My Dad has always been a strong, decisive leader. He was a teacher turned school administrator, and just retired a couple of years ago after almost 40 years as an educator. He has always been proud of his ability to control any situation. He is a "fixer" personality (so am I), and being confronted with something that cannot be fixed is difficult. He feels weak and sick and helpless. I feel weak and helpless in the face of this.

Making things worse is the fact that my sister is stationed overseas. She is attempting to separate in order to come home and care for Dad in his final days. I am trying to do all I can, but I have a very young family and a full time job. I also live an hour away from my Dad. Fortunately, he has a wonderful girlfriend that is truly a gift. She was there for him at diagnosis when he couldn't tell us, his children, what was happening. She took him to his first chemo appointments, before I even knew he was sick. My plan is to visit a couple of times a week, take food that he might find appealing (pancreatic cancer steals your appetite, starting pretty early on), do laundry, run errands, and clean his house. I also want to provide a can't be fun to do nothing but sit and contemplate your mortality. I made a batch of his favorite Christmas cookies, and I hope he will want to eat them. It was therapeutic for me to make them.

Please visit and raise your awareness of this insidious disease. Did you know that November is Pancreatic Cancer Awareness Month? Neither did I until I was made horribly, tragically aware of it. It is also Lung Cancer Awareness Month.

Boobs get a whole month all to themselves, and an avalanche of pink friggin' everything. October practically shrieks "BREAST CANCER!!! BE AWARE!! ARE YOU AWARE!!! OF BREAST CANCER!!!! HALF THE POPULATION HAS BREASTS!!!! BE AWARE!!!". PanCan has to share a month with lung cancer. Guess how many people I've run into that know November is PanCan month? Zero. Including the staff in the cancer center.

You know what? Everybody has a smurfing pancreas. EVERYBODY. Have you seen the statistics on pancreatic cancer? They are barbaric. 80% of patients do not survive to a year beyond diagnosis. At five years survival is something like 2%. That is pathetic. Basically, if you're not a candidate for a Whipple procedure, you're toast. And a Whipple? That is complicated, dangerous surgery. The recommendation is not to have the procedure at a hospital that does less than 5 of them a year. It is THAT INVOLVED. The result of surgery, even if you come out totally unscathed and free of cancer is instant diabetes. Would I rather be diabetic than dead? Yes, but what other cancer treatment results in another debilitating disease? It's madness.

Please go to the website and learn the signs. My Dad turned 65 nine days ago, a week after being given a death sentence. Sixty-five is not old. It is not the end of a lifetime, or shouldn't be. It happens accross age spectrums.

Know It. Fight It. End It.

In further smurf my life topics, my twins spent all of Thanksgiving weekend barfing their little guts out. There are few things sadder than barfing babies. Unless one of those things is one of those babies barfing his little guts out all over the back of your car when you are alone and over an hour from home after spending the day with your dying father and increasingly frail 94 year old grandmother.

That is way sadder.

That is something that makes Mommy lose her smurf and call Daddy at work and sob to him that she just doesn't have the emotional fortitude to deal with the current situation and he needs to come home immediately and keep Mommy from jumping off the roof and yes she knows that it's a holiday and that will leave work short and she doesn't care.

But he did come home. Because he is awesome like that.

Ok. Not everything in my life is smurfed. Some things are actually fun and exciting (or at least, the anticipation is fun and exciting). I promise my next post will be less doom and more fun.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Mommy is all Crazy Pants blog a month. I'm exhausted.

My lovely children continue to grow and flourish in spite of my lackadaisical parenting skills, which is wonderful. They have been (knock wood) quite healthy this year aside from the occaisional sniffles. The twins are fat and sassy, saying new words every day. They are all about looking in the mirror and talking to the "other baby". I'm pretty sure that when each one looks in the mirror he identifies his own reflection as his brother.

Lily adores 4K and asks every morning "Do I have 4K today?!?". Friday is her least favorite day because there's no 4K on Fridays. I'm so glad she likes school, it makes everything easier.

Now. For the Crazy Pants:

I have decided to run a marathon. Specifically the Cellcom Green Bay Marathon on 5/20/12. My training starts January 1! I'm intimidated and excited all at the same time. I'm doing Insanity right now (which is "bananas, yo" in the words of Shaun T), and am thinking it will make me a faster runner. Lots of plyo for speed :)

My friend Laura is debating signing up as well. I'm not counting on training with her, though. She's not an all-weather kind of runner, and will likely be treadmilling it for the most part. Me? I LOVE winter training. LOVE IT.

So there it is. In print. I'm going to run a marathon. Along with a couple of 5Ks and half marathons in my training schedule.

May the force (or the Schwartz) be with me...

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Running in the N.E.W

This morning was the perfect run. I went long, and not fast at all. It was civil twilight when I left the house, and the sun rose into a clear blue sky. It lit the trees into firey shades of orange, red, and gold.

If you know me, you know I'm a cold weather runner. You can have those hideous sweatfests that are August runs, I'll take a 35 degree morning any day of the week. This is my perfect time of year. No snow, no ice, just frost and my breath in the air. A pair of cheap gloves, a smart-alecky hat, and I'm on my way.

There is something wonderful about Northeastern Wisconsin. In the spring and summer it is 1,000 shades of green, like no place else in this country (and I've lived all over it). But autumn? Autumn is special. In September and October, northeast Wisconsin explodes into a rainbow of color. The farm fields turn golden, and then are tilled under, releasing the smell of fresh earth. The trees begin changing with little peeks of color, and then WHAM! It's a crazy collage of beauty, with little brick churches, red barns, and deer dotting the landscape. This morning the visual beauty was heightened for me by the smell of woodsmoke and damp leaves. As I turned downhill by the little brick church in my neighborhood, fields bordered by trees spread out before me, terminating in the sparkling water of Green Bay.

Today I feel lucky to be alive and a runner in this place. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face...and over 12.42 miles, that's a lot of smiling.

One of these days I'm going to photograph my favorite routes and post them. One of these days...

Monday, September 26, 2011

A Pissy PR.

So after a week of zero athletic effort, I set out to PR in the 5K on Saturday morning at the Eastbay Rib Mountain Half-Marathon/5K for Special Olympics.

It was a very foggy, miserable kind of morning. I was a little worried we were going to be stuck in a rainstorm (my dear husband was doing the half), but the sky cleared and it was a beautiful 47ish degrees at the start. The sun even came out and lit up the trees on the side of Rib as we crossed the bridge. It was lovely.

I should preface this by saying that typically I'm a 10-min-mile kind of a girl. My previous 5K PR was 30:20. I have also never barfed due to exercise. Ever. Never ever.

This was the first running of this race, so it was lightly attended. About 175 half-marathoners and about 180 5K run/walkers. There was no chip for the 5K, so my time is the one from my Garmin.

We were off right on time, and I was feeling pretty good. I started passing people and thought "Huh. That's odd. I don't pass people."

But it kept happening.

The course is flatish, straight, and out-and-back, so you can see everyone ahead of you. I kept gaining and gaining. It was weird. My GPS chirped. My mile split...8:50.

WTF? I do NOT run sub-9s.

So I kept on, still feeling good...pretty scenery. I see the leader coming back, but I can also actually see the turnaround at the same time. A novel experience. I blow by the water station (really, do you need water on a 3 mile run when it's 45 degrees? mais non) and am thinking "Holy crap. Still passing people and I can see the park we came from!"

Chirp. 8:40.....whaaaaaaa?

At the mile 2 marker, I started to feel like I was going to barf. Like really going to barf. This had never happened on a run (Never. Never ever.). I slowed to a walk for about 30 seconds. Then I thought to myself "NO. You will NOT just STOP. You will finish running, you pansy ass."

So I picked it up and kept on, somewhat slower.

Finishing time? 29:30. Finishing distance 3.2 miles. The course was long. Bastards.

I could have finished sub-27 if I hadn't blown up at mile 2. I was so NOT expecting that to happen. I might have been sub-29 if the course had not been long. So these are my pissy things about my PR. Still, it's a PR and I proved that I really can run faster than previously thought.

My husband? 2:10, and he walked most of the last 2 miles because his knee went "NO. NO! NONONONONONONONONONONONO!!!!!" at about mile 11.5. Jackass.

A few things about the race:
1. The start/finish is in a very nice park in Wausau. Plenty of parking.
2. The course is really beautiful. Especially at this time of year. The last little bit is on a windy train through the park, which was neat. Watching the finishers come in through the trees was kind of cool. Good police presence on the roads near the park, and the traffic lane on one side of the road was blocked off for us. I believe the course was open to traffic on Rib, but don't quote me on that.
3. Starbucks, Eastbay, GU, Subway, and Qdoba were sponsors. What does this mean?
a. Free (awesome!) coffee/tea at the start and finish
b. High quality finishers shirt (cotton for 5K and tech for half)
c. Free GU (and not a crappy flavor!) in your goody bag.
d. Free Spenco slides and insoles,queso and chips, and sandwiches at the finish
4. The had the Spicy Tie band! Those guys are awesome!
5. There were a number of Special O athletes giving high fives at the finish. I think that's great.

I don't have anything really negative to say about the experience aside from the course being a tad long. It's not like I was trying to qualify for anything, though, so it doesn't really matter. My husband is on the state Special O committee, so he knows the organizers. We suggested porta-johns and garbage cans nearer to the start. It was kind of a hike to go pee before the start, and I had nowhere to toss my water bottle when the start buzzer went off.

Put this one on your calendars for next year, people. I think I'll do the half next year. It'll be a nice tune up for the Whistlestop Marathon!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Good-Bye, My Friend

On Saturday evening, my friend Nicki was thrown from her motorcycle after a freak encounter with a bird. She died on Sunday, after giving the gift of life and healing to countless people as an organ donor. She never wore a helmet, and fully understood the implications of that choice.

She was 32.

She leaves behind a husband and son that loved her very much. It was obvious how much she loved them, too. Her workstation at the hospital was covered with pictures of her family, including a calendar made special with her son's face.

Nicki was one of the most vibrant people I have ever known. She lived every moment of her life to it's fullest. She was perpetually smiling and laughing. Her laugh was amazing. Full throated, head thrown back, total abandon. She loved to party, hang out with her friends and family, and most of all? Ride her motorcycle. She loved that bike. She worked two jobs to get it, and she rode it whenever she could. She dreamt of Harley Davidson tattoos...hell, she even married a man named Harley.

It gives me some comfort to know she left this life doing something she loved, riding down the road with someone she loved. Live fast...die young...and leave a good-looking corpse.

I will always miss her. But even though I'm crying today, I know that in the future when this grief has dulled....I'll think of Nicki, and I'll smile.

RIP Nicki. We all love you.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

You'll Never Know if You Don't Tri

So I did a triathlon on Saturday. Yeah. It rained the whole time, which isn't that big of a deal (you know, with that whole swimming in the water thing), but it makes for a lot of wet, dirty gear.

The pros:
1. It's something different, for when you're burned out with always running, running, running.
2. It encourages more well rounded fitness (swimming is hard, yo).

The cons:
1. You need a crapload of stuff to do a tri. Bike, swimsuit/wetsuit/trisuit, bike shoes, running shoes, optional socks or quicklaces, swim cap, goggles, towels, gels, bike helmet, bike tools and spares, gear bag.
2. It's so complicated. You have to think about each stage and it's unique fueling/hydrating needs.
3. If you're really going to train, you're looking at a major time commitment.
4. Swimming in open water with 20 other people? Yeah. It sucks.
5. Biking with no clear destination gets a little boring, and that much time on a bike? Hurts your va-jay-jay.
6. I can't express the amount of dirt that was in all my gear. I know some of that has to do with the rain and the transition area, but holy moly was my stuff dirty.

Bottom line: I'm glad I did it, but I have no desire to do it again. I might to the Cloverleaf Lakes Tri again, just because I'm sort of from there and my friends do it. I will never, never sign up for a larger tri. Tri people are nuts. They are SO focused and obsessed with being tri's really intimidating. I know people feel that way about runners and racing, but I've always found the running community to be really welcoming and friendly. Not that the tri people were unfriendly, plenty of them were nice, but I could sense their irritation with the newbies when we were in the water. I exercise to clear my head, but the tri just cluttered my brain with logistical nightmares. Not very relaxing!

My 9 miler on Monday, though? It was awesome beyond belief. It was 45 glorious degrees at sunrise and I felt great. First mile was almost 12min, but it's up a huge hill and I wasn't warmed up. I ran every mile faster than the one before, culminating in an 8:47. The last half of my run was all sub-10s. I was so happy. At the end of it I felt centered and happy...uplifted. At the end of the tri I just felt....wet.

Ok. I just got off a third shift and I'm fading fast. Gotta get some sleep, and maybe a little hiking/walking later!

Monday, August 22, 2011

Seven is My Lucky Number (I Guess)

Went out for a 7 miler on Sunday. It was about 60, sunny, with a slight cool breeze. I tried a new route that the hubs suggested, and Voila! A happy run.

It's about friggin' time.

I was really worried that I was going to overheat, just based on the intensity of the sun. It was seriously the loveliest run I've had in....well....about 3 months. I averaged 10:30s, which is all I really wanted, and I felt strong the whole time. I really needed a "win" on Sunday, and I got it. weekend is training with my friend Joanne. An 8 mile run, and a 20ish mile bike. Why, you may ask?

Because I am signed up to do a triathlon on 9/3. What the hell was I thinking. Oh yeah...I was thinking about the race shirt.

Damn race shirts get me every time. (I love the race shirts)

It's a little creepy, actually.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Mommy Hasn't Been Here in a While

Yeah. Blog fail. Oh well. It's not like anyone's reading this thing!

Back to training and bike commuting, and after a few trying days with a flat tire, it seems to be going well!

The Jerabek Challenge was this last Saturday, and my goal going in was to run the whole hot hilly thing with no walk breaks. I accomplished this goal, and took about 2.5 minutes off last year's time. I was still slow, mind you, but less so than in the past.

While I was slogging 10s through the Jerabek, Kim (Life in the Twin Lane) and Rachel (Running in Real Life) were posting sub-2 hour half marathons in Chicago. I'm not worthy.

My October half training has been painful. I feel slow and heavy. The 6lbs I've gained don't help with this, I'm sure. It's partly the heat, partly a lack of motivation. I'm just not enjoying my runs, and they don't give me the same exhiliration they used to. I'm pining for beautiful cool fall days, and hoping I can hold out until then...slogging along, getting my miles in.

I signed up for my first triathlon on 9/3. A small event in the town I went to high school in. Here's hoping I don't fail miserably. My boss's boss talked me into signing up for a duathlon with her 9/18. I haven't officially registered yet, but I promised I would, so I will. Now I just have to figure out what a person wears to compete in a triathlon...and a duathlon (which should be easier to figure out :).

I need food mojo. We've been making fabulous healthy meals for the family, and I've been eating them. In addition to every junky thing I can get my hands on. If I wasn't working out continuously, I'm sure I'd be up 20lbs. Sigh. I really wish I was one of those people who didn't have to constantly battle the scale. I wish food didn't call to me.

The other awesome development in my life? I am grinding my teeth into dust while I sleep. My new bite guard is being made as I write. So now I am about to be 34 (8/31), gaining weight, and about to be wearing a bite guard.

That's a lot of sexy, people. I hope my husband is ready to handle it. He's down about 50lbs, BTW, and looking better than ever. Asshole.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

P90X...the saga continues

So I've been running on the treadmill (which I DESPISE) due to the freakish heat around here the last week or so. My big plan to bike to work? On hold until next week. It's going to be 96 friggin degrees here tomorrow, and while I do want to bike, I also don't wish to die. Oh, and I did a really, really stupid thing that is best expressed with a photo. I shall share soon. Promise.

Enter P90X. Now, I've done this workout before, and I like it and stuff, but after 6 weeks without resistance training? Yeah. My ass is weak. It's good for me though, and I'm happy to be doing it as I know it will make me a stronger runner. I plan to do Insanity after the Fall 50 before I start spring training.

The cooking is still going well. Last night I made Chicken Francais (or Chicken Fancy as Lily put it) and it was delicious :) So was the bottle of wine I consumed with it.

Rachel at Rachel in Real Life tagged me for a post, and I'm totally going to do it- but from my home computer so I can post pics. For real.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Hot, Hot, Hot = Swell, Swell, Swell

So I ran outside. And it was hot. And now? I am puffy. Like up 2lbs puffy.

That is le suck.

However, I know it is temporary, and I will survive!

Saturday, July 9, 2011

A Good Treadmill Run?

So yesterday I decided to use the treader, since it was pretty hot outside and Jamie needed to get in a 5ish miler. We took the spawn to the Y and he did an outside loop while I "took it easy" on the treadmill. I started off easy, 2 min walking alternating with 3 minutes running, and then I sort of forgot to slow down for my walk interval and just kept going. I felt so good, I jacked up the speed :) I ended up running the last 5 minutes at a sub-9 minute pace, and the last 2 minutes sub-8. You know what? It felt really awesome. I am a bit sore today though!

I also did 75 crunches, the last 5 of which were really hard to finish. I used to be able to bang out 5 sets of 100 crunches like it was nothing! I have to be really diligent with my core work. If my core is weak, my form collapses in the last miles of my long runs and my time suffers. Last October at the Whistlestop I caved in at mile 11, and the last 2.1 miles were exhausting. After spending the winter working on core and strength, my spring half marathons went much, MUCH better. I need to remember how good a strong core makes me feel, and work toward that feeling.

Today in my exciting life, I have taken the children outside to play in the yard for about an hour (man, that is going to be so much easier when that fence goes up on Tuesday!), watered the new grass seed and my flowerbeds, prepped dinner so I don't have to do it with the circling baby vultures, and done three loads of laundry. Right now I'm chilling out while the small ones sleep. Poor little Pat fell asleep in his lunch, and Charlie was a near zombie when I put them down. I try to shoot for noon, but they were out by 11:35! When everyone wakes up, it will be snacks all around and then a walk around the neighborhood I think. That'll be my workout for today.

On the menu for tonight? Crispy oven baked chicken fingers and sweet potato fries (regular fries for Lily), with a green salad on the side for me (well, maybe Lily too, so she doesn't steal my tomatoes. Tomorrow is Adobo grilled flank steak with tomato corn relish. Love the new menu board and dinner plan. It's worked out so well! We finished all of the leftovers just in time to go grocery shopping with the clan tomorrow. The fridge contains just enough to get us through dinner tonight and breakfast tomorrow. No waste, which makes me really super happy. Also making me happy? I've spent very, very little in the hospital cafeteria this week, which is a big deal. I was buying two meals a day there, 4 days a week. This week I bought 1 sandwich and 1 salad, and that was that. I hope I can keep that up!

Thursday, July 7, 2011


Two awesome things happened today:

1. I ran 2 miles without stopping, and I felt like I could have kept going. I'm taking it slow, though, so I don't hurt myself. 21:34, which is slow for me...but no breaks or walking. I actually forgot to turn on my iPod, which is amazing. I was anticipating my return to running to be painful, so I charged up my 'Pod and figured I'd be relying on tunes to carry me through. I can't believe I didn't use them at all. It makes me so happy.

2. My bike is ready at the shop. I will pick it up tomorrow :) The remainder of my gear will be here tomorrow or Monday, and I am so excited to get rolling. I got my cycling sandals, and they are great. My multitool and copy of "Bike Repair for Dummies" came yesterday. I'm almost all set.

A little over a month to the Jerabek, twoish months to the EastBay 5K for Special Olympics, 3 months to the Whistlestop and the week after, Fall 50!

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Living Life with No Restrictions!

I am officially cleared to run.


Everything is looking good post-op, healing nicely, and causing me no trouble. Per my plastic surgeon, I can do whatever I want to do exercise-wise. He advised me to take it slow with the running to start (duh...I'll be pretty slow after 5 weeks off). I asked about resistance training and was given the go ahead to begin whenever I felt ready.

I told my doctor about how much I hated being sedentary...the aches and pains and general badness I felt. I never thought I'd miss exercise so much, but it really made me feel healthy and alive. I've felt like an old woman these last 5 weeks (an old woman with bodacious boobs, but an old woman nonetheless). I put on my spankin' new Mizunos yesterday to walk at the Y and I almost teared up a little...they were so comfy and just felt like an old friend.

Is it weird to be so excited about exercise? I just don't know what to do first! My new cycling shoes arrived yesterday, and there should be a huge pile of awesome gear showing up this week. My trusty bicycle will be done at the shop soon! I'm taking myself for a run tomorrow for certain, and just need to decide when I want to start my cycle of P90X. I think I'll start with a nice mid-morning 2 miler...just a little jaunt around the neighborhood to test the waters. If I'm a lucky girl, I won't have lost ALL my fitness.

We started a little interdepartmental weight loss challenge at work this week. My goal is to drop 13lbs over the course of the 4 month competition. I will admit to a slight cheat. I puffed myself up a little by eating lunch and pounding 1.5L of water immediately before weighing in. I did not wear my hospital clogs, however. I thought that would be a little too much cheating :)

I'm pretty sure that being able to exercise again will cause me to drop weight like a bad habit. I've been able to keep from gaining being almost totally sedentary, so going back to healthier eating habits (less stringent calorie restriction) and amping up my workouts should do me good. I can't wait to feel normal again! I'm going to have a six pack by the winter, bitches.

We had Lily's 4th birthday party on the 4th, and it was a blast. The kids had a great time and the weather was perfect. We now own a sandbox and swingset, so with the addition of the fence we're all set. I made a kick-ass cake (I'll try to post a picture) and Lily got a ton of fun stuff, including a Lite Brite. It's far less of a fire hazard than I remember. Everytime she talks about it she says "Lite Brite" in this hilarious high pitched sing-song way. As in: "I'm going to go play with my Liiiiite Briiiiite". I wish I could impart just how awesome it is. She also got a mom and toddler doll set for her doll house. She refers to them as "Mommy and Sweetie". Surprisingly, Lily shared her birthday balloons with her brothers, and let me tell you, there is no joy as pure as a pair of 15 month old boys holding Mylar balloons. I barely got cake, as I had two small vultures circling the whole time. Pat decided that he was going to take matters into his own pudgy hands by walking over to Lily and snatching her cake (well, the top layer) and smashing it into his face. She, of course, went apeshit. It was hysterical.

Did you know that Strawberry Shortcake now has a trendy haircut and multi-culti friends? Neither did I, but she's sporting "the Rachel" these days. She still looked cute as a cake topper!

Thursday, June 30, 2011

I Am Bummed.

Found out this week that the half marathon weekend that Jamie and I had been planning won't be going down as planned. He won't be able to do the race because school gets out too late on Friday for him to make the drive. I am sad. We did this race when I was 14 weeks pregnant with the boys, and went back last year and both PRed. I was hoping to make it an annual thing, but we're losing this year. I was so looking forward to it, too. 4 days away...just us (and our friends). Now it'll be just me (and our friends).

So my consolation? When he's done with school we're going to Vegas for a week. By then I should be lean and mean. I already know where I want to stay :)

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

I Did a Bad, Bad Thing

I bought $500 worth of cycling stuff.

I'm taking my road bike in for a "tune up" and a new set of tires. I am going to start bike commuting when my husband goes back to school, and I "needed" some new bike shorts, jerseys, etc. In my defense, I don't own any padded bike shorts, and if I'm going to be commuting 14 miles a day....well, I'll need the padding.

I'm kinda stoked about this. I have about 14lbs I'd like to drop in the next 3 - 4 months (I gained 5lbs from stress eating before my surgery), and 60ish miles of biking a week on top of my half marathon training schedule can't hurt. I'll be able to go back to eating normally again! Woo!
Bonus: Now that all my hanging bits are gone, I can really lean over the bike without banging my knees on my belly.

I plan to use swimming as cross training this winter, and all that cycling and running should put me in good enough shape to not want to crawl in a hole when people see me in a swimsuit.

So my dear husband is going to paramedic school starting August 19th. Our lives are about to get crazy. I'm sure he's going to do really well. He's a smart guy to begin with, and also very level headed. He's been an EMT for about 6 years now, and is itching to take that next step. His boss told him that if he fails pharmacology he's going to get a kick in the balls. (I'm a clinical pharmacist). I'm looking forward to helping him study and learning a few things myself.

On the child front, Lily (who will turn 4 on Saturday) managed to faceplant on our driveway and give herself a big blue knot on the bridge of her nose and road rash on her cheek. It's really awesome to take a bunch of banged up kids to the childcare center at the YMCA. "No, really, we don't beat them! I swear! She's just, um, clumsy! Yeah! Clumsy!" We got her a sandbox for her birthday. She's going to love it :)

I think the boys are getting teeth again because they are droooooooooooly and also craaaaaaaaabby. I can't wait until our fence is installed, the sandbox is filled, and the swingset is up. My ass is taking all those little jerks outside and letting them run wild until they collapse from exhaustion.

Incidentally, did you know that 2 fruit Newtons are ONE HUNDRED CALORIES?!?!?! I did not know that, and gave each of the boys about 6 of the damn things one night (which they greedily snarfed down and begged for more). That's 300 calories. That's a crazy lot for a 25lb kid.(Well...or a 160lb mommy. Not that I ate 6 of them. Or 10. Just sayin' is all.)

Monday, June 27, 2011

An Ode to my New/Old Running Shoes

O Mizuno
How beautiful is your Wave Nirvana 6
How sprightly the colors
How happy the midsole

Shining and new
You arrive from
So much better than your version 7 sibling
With your failure to clip-clop clip-clop

Where shall we go
O Wave Nirvana 6?
What roads shall we conquer together?
My feet encased in gleaming silver mesh?

How I loved your forerunner
My flaming orange Nirvanas
They served me well in snow and mud
Then, reborn, live on as recycled track

I shall love you
I shall help you meet your destiny
You shall help me meet mine
O Wave Nirvana 6

My Brilliant Idea!

So as I was scrambling around for something to feed my ravenous spawn, I had an (brilliant!) idea. Perhaps (just perhaps), if I planned ahead (brilliant!), I wouldn't be so desperate for meal ideas all the time (brilliant!).

Oh, in case you're not getting it, I am totally referencing that Guiness commercial (brilliant!) from a few years back (brilliant!).

Anyway, I was surfing around Amazon and considering my many (many, many) cookbooks when this (brilliant!) idea dawned on me: If I buy a dry erase calendar, I could (gasp!) write my meals down in advance. This amazing plan would not only allow me to make a grocery list (brilliant!), but also allow my husband and me to both see what the children (well, and us) had for dinner on any given night. Meaning? Less repeating, and more actual meals vs. tossed together hodgepodges (brilliant!). So now my kitchen houses a spankin' new dry erase calendar. I went through my (many, many) cookbooks and made a list of about 12 recipes to sprinkle throughout the month. We'll try to find favorites, and rotate new meals in every month.

I'm excited! Because my life is crazy boring!

While I was surfing around Amazon, I also ordered myself a new running journal. I love running journals. I have kept them since I started running (all those many long...or 4...years ago), and they make me happy. I can see my training taking shape and can track how I'm progressing. It's like a regular journal, without all those stupid feelings. If you know me, you know I don't do feelings.

I have decided to give Hal Higdon's Intermediate training plan a go. It will begin on 7/25 for my 10/15 half (I'd put it on my race schedule ticker thing if I could figure out how). I'll be cleared to run on 7/6 and will just try to reclaim my cardiovascular base for 3 weeks, then start. This schedule should allow me to begin a cycle of P90X at the same time, since it calls for strength training several days a week. I wrote the whole damn thing in my fresh new training journal and I am seriously itching to begin. All this forced inactivity is making my just bats. So far, I plan to to the Jerebek Challenge in August, and I need to find a 5K and a 10K in the fall to round out my training plan.

I couldn't be happier with my surgical results. The steristrips are coming off and the incision looks really good. I should be able to start doing scar treatments after seeing my doc on 7/6, so I'm hoping by next summer I'll be rocking a two piece without self-conciousness.

And also? Brilliant!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

What's For Lunch?

I seriously ask this question every day. Not for myself, generally, because when I'm working I eat one of two lunches. Either a grilled chicken salad with lots of veggies and fat free ranch and buffalo sauce or turkey on a whole wheat croissant with lettuce, tomato, and dijon. Boring, right? Here's the thing. I loooooooove those two lunches. Love them. That's one reason I eat them every day. The other reason? I know their calorie content by heart, which takes the guesswork out of the weight loss thing. Variety is for supper, lunch is for happy comfortable food.

I ask the question every day for the kids. I hate getting meals ready for the kids. I am fine with repetition, but too much repetition for the kiddos equals bad eaters. They get tired of stuff and won't eat it anymore. Which I guess I understand. My husband can't fathom my daily turkey sandwich! Right now I know what's for lunch. Chicken helper. Exciting stuff. The boys will be up in about 40 minutes and I'll start cooking food from a box. Sigh. I wish I was more motivated to cook, but it is nearly impossible to cook anything with two 15 month old babies in the kitchen. They are everywhere at once. Can't use the oven, can't use the stovetop...little bodies and fingers everywhere! And the shreiking! As soon as they see food, they freak out. Freak out. They become like giant baby birds. Mouths open, they advance. It's a little frightening.

Then there is Lily. Lily who used to be a human garbage can, but now spends and hour and a half listlessly picking at her meal. It's more like an art project or science experiment for her. Poke the food, tear is apart, mash it into nothingness, dunk it in milk. It's a nightmare. Things she used to love are now unacceptable. She won't eat squash because "it's too orange". She won't eat sweet potatoes because (I'm not kidding) "they're too sweet potatoey". She has to be bribed to eat meat. Crazy. She'll eat snacks of all sorts, but meals? Excruciating. Sigh.

Since I'm home today, I have no idea what I'll eat. Maybe some chicken helper. Who knows.

Went for a 10K walk with a friend on Saturday, my first real exercise since surgery. I was sore afterwards, which is sad, but it felt great to be out in the fresh air and moving. Yesterday I did 30 minutes on the treadmill (walking) at the Y, and I plan to do that daily until I'm cleared to run (7/6!!). I've had a pretty easy recovery so far, a little swelling with activity, but that's normal. I'm hoping to have continued success. I'm trying to log my stuff with dailymile (as you see) but I can't figure out the website...can't seem to figure out how to get my races on the board. Frustrating.

Ok. Time to start lunch so I'm not cooking when the little monsters awake!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Plastic Psurgery is not for Psychos

I understand how people could become "addicted" to plastic surgery. Once you "fix" one thing, then another "flaw" rises to prominence and you feel the need to "fix" that as well. My surgeon asked me a lot of "Hmmm...are you a psycho?" type questions when I had my consult. You know the you have realistic expectations, are you seeking a result that is physically impossible, that kind of thing.

I can assure you that I am done having procedures (barring some kind of disfiguring accident). I also realized that having this surgery has removed a nagging shadow from my mind. I didn't think my saggy belly was so present in my psyche, that I thought about it as much as I did...until I didn't. Sure, I think about my incision and keeping it clean and protected, but I don't think about my appearance related to it anymore.

The change is really amazing. My stupid belly isn't the first place my eyes go when I step out of the shower anymore. It isn't the first thing I think about when I'm getting dressed in the morning and the last thing I think about when I crawl into bed at night. That's a hell of a thing. Even when I stand and just let my belly "hang out" (not that I do that...every former fat girl knows you ALWAYS hold in your belly) it doesn't really "hang" anymore.

I'm really looking forward to this positive change in relation to my running self. There were days that I would put on and pull off three or four shirts because the way the waistband of my skirt hit made me look like I had front butt (you know, that saggy pooch that women get that looks like an ass on the front side) and a jelly roll above the band. Or it made my belly look like it stuck out farther than my boobs (wait...I guess it looked like that becuse it did that), or it was tight accross my squishy belly and loose over my chest (that is a HOT look, btw). No one should feel like a big fat freak before going out and running in public. That is not the way to build confidence. Add a Fuel Belt to that picture? Now we're talking sexy. I am so looking forward to the day when I can just pull on any old thing and go run. What an incredibly freeing moment that will be. Three weeks and counting!

So one of these days I will stop whining about myself and my psychological issues and talk about my kids more :) Here is a Lilyism to start us off:

Dear Husband: This is an orangutan, can you say "orangutan"?
Lily: Monkey.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Back to work.

First day back at work!

Having the drains out kicks a huge amount of ass. I can move around, wear regular clothes, and best of all? I don't look like I'm smuggling grenades! So glad to be back to my regular routine.

So my doc was all "If I pull these drains and you get a fluid collection, don't say I didn't warn you" with much wagging of fingers and tut-tutting. Today I had a post-op before my shift started and he said "Let's check for fluid since you coerced me into taking out those drains."

Guess what? No fluid. HA!.

Everything is looking good and healing well. When the steristrips start to let go, I've been cleared to just remove them as they loosen. I'm excited for that, because the damn things itch like crazy. I'm also happy because that means I'll look more like a person and less like an arts and crafts project.

The best thing I heard today? I am cleared for walking and light exercise, and after my next postop (in 3 weeks) I should be clear to run! YeeeeHaaaaaaw! Just in time to train for my next half. I'm sure I'll be painfully slow, but I'm excited anyway.

I'm hoping the new bras, underpants, and sportsbras I ordered are on my doorstep when I get home...can't wait to have new, non-ratty understuff.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Drains out today!

Woo! I'm off to the doc to get the drains out this afternoon! I am so excited! In case you couldn't tell! by the overuse! of exclamation! points!

I'm planning to start walking on Sunday (maybe with at trip to the zoo...the weather is supposed to be pretty nice), with an eye to running the first week of July. In the early morning, of course, as the heat is not my friend.

In the mean time, the kids are off to the grandparents for the next couple of days, and my dear husband is doing the Law Enforcement Torch Run for Special Olympics. He's been heavily involved in Special O for the last few years and is on the state committee. He really likes this event because it combines two of his favorite things: Motorcycles and running. Opening ceremonies for the Games are on Thursday in Stevens Point if anyone is going to be out that way. My husband is the handsome guy in uniform on the motorcycle.

So I'm left with about 2 days with nothing to do. Plan is to see a friend tomorrow, but I don't know what I'll do besides that. Maybe take myself to the movies? I have some free passes I haven't used. Any suggestions on a good one to see?

After I get my drains out this afternoon, I'm making a pilgrimage to Victoria's Secret for a couple of new bras and underpants. I'm still wearing my ratty old pregnant pants, and that simply has to stop. Also, I need some regular bras to wear when I go back to work. Sports bras are not going to cut it!

Sunday, June 5, 2011

First look in the mirror!

Took a shower today (with the drains still in, which was weird), and got my first look in the mirror sans binders/dressings.

Holy flat stomach, batman. When I went to the office on Friday, yeah, I could tell it was flatter, but I just got the top view and I was more concerned with the incision and the drains. After actually seeing the full view? I am FLOORED at the result. My stomach is flat! Even with all the "swelling" (which I don't notice), it is SO MUCH BETTER than it was pre-op. Like freaky better. Miraculous better. The incision is big, and obviously really visible (including the belly button which is also stitched up and kind of odd), but I don't even care. It seems higher than other incisions I've seen, but I'm fine with that, and I told the surgeon that I'm not really the "itty bitty bikini" type. I was more concerned with the overall look than the ability to wear an inappropriate bathing suit.

I am just thrilled with the result so far...and I'm not even a week post-op. I feel really good, too, which is a relief. I can't wait to lose these drains, because they are annoying and my boys have the uncanny ability to find the tubing even under my clothes. I will definately be able to wear my scrubs comfortably when I go back to work.

What I really want to do? Run. With my skirt waistband firmly in place. I also really, really want to do craploads of ab work...because I may actually see the results! That's a few weeks off, though. I think I'm going to do a round of P90X once I'm back to running regularly. I can't wait to see what that program will do to my body without all the extra squidge.

Delicious, ridiculously healthy recipe of the day:
1/2 block of firm silken tofu (the lite if you really want the protein bomb without the calories)
1 container plain, fat free greek yogurt
1 c. skim milk
half a bag of Dole tropical frozen fruit mix, still frozen (then you don't need ice) or whatever fruit floats your boat. Frozen works better than fresh, if you like your shake thick.
Blitz until milk-shake consistency.
This makes a giant, awesome shake (seriously, like 24-30oz depending on how much fruit you use).
Pre-op I would drink half before my run and half after. Today I'm just drinking the whole thing and calling it lunch. It ends up being less than 300 calories depending on the fruit. With just a mindblowing amount of protein.

You're welcome.

Also want to shout out to my fabulous husband who made an awesome dinner last night (steak and zucchini on the grill) and an awesome breakfast this morning (steak/spinach/potato/tomato/cheese frittata). He is truly the best ever.

Oh, and two Vicodin taken at bedtime? Feels like flooooaaaaaatttttinnnngggg...

Friday, June 3, 2011

So THAT's what 7,000 stitches looks like...

Just back from my post-op appointment, and the good news is everything looks great and is healing nicely. The bad news is I have to keep the drains in for at least a few more days. Blah.

I can ditch the boobie binder and start wearing a non-underwire bra, though, which is nifty!

It is so strange to see and touch my belly. It's my belly, I have sensation, but the sensations seem....miswired? Like when I touch below my new belly button, it feels like I'm touching the top of my stomach. Odd. According to Dr. Z, there will be numbness for a while, along with some swelling. He also said that my boobs will drop a bit and soften up, but they seem pretty damn great to me right now, so if they start to look/feel even more "natural", well yippee!

I haven't seen my boys since Tuesday morning (I was afraid they'd pull out the drains/rip open the incision) but I can pin the drains higher and cover them with my shirt. Also, after seeing the 7,000 stitches holding my guts together, I'm pretty sure nothing's going to rip that puppy open.
I miss my babies, and I'm looking forward to seeing them tonight when my husband brings them home from daycare. I hope they remember who I am...

Back to work on 6/13, and back to walking at that point, too. If it goes well, then back to running the first week of July! I hope everything heals quickly and completely...I need to run again! I miss it so much!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Post-op Day 1

Well, I slept well in the recliner last night. The vicodin might have helped some with that :) I didn't really need it, but I figured it would make me drowsy and if I moved around too much I wouldn't wake up sore.

This morning I feel pretty great! No pain at the belly incision, and just a teeny bit of soreness at the boobs. I really, really want to peek under my binder. But I won't, because my husband scolds me. He said "No peeking or poking! You better not screw this up for me!". I'm trying not to look....

The drains are weird, they just hang like little grenades on tubes. I'm not really conscious of them until I get up to move around (or go to the bathroom). I have to empty them and record the volumes until Friday. So far I haven't been draining much, I'm hopeful I'll lose at least one of them on Friday.

My husband has been so great. He's taking good care of me and the kids. I am very lucky :) At the rate I'm going, I should be more than ready to go back to work in two weeks. If all goes well with the return to work, I will try running the first week of July (gotta get on that training plan for the Whistlestop!). I can't wait to run again...without that big flap of skin bouncing my pants down.

My husband is gearing up to run the Bellin next Saturday. I'm hoping I'll be able to get out and watch him. I envy his speed. I don't envy him running the Bellin. It's too crazy for me. It is fun to watch, though.

My daughter has been giving my husband grief at suppertime. He reports that she will not eat squash because it is "too orange". She will not eat sweet potato fries because they are "too crispy and sweet potatoey". Can't argue with that logic! Mostly because it's not logic. Sigh. The joys of a nearly 4 year old.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Ta Ta Da!

Had my surgery this morning! Checked in at 6:30, spent about 2 hours freaking out about it, then into the OR @ 8:30. I know they gave me a little Versed, which took the edge off right before they wheeled me to OR. I remember commenting that it looked like a storage room (lots of boxes of supplies piled up) and the CRNA telling me that it was crowded today because they ordered too much stuff over the weekend. Then she put a mask over my mouth and nose and I thought "This stuff smells metallic" and then I was out.

I came to in PACU at about 11:30 and was really surprised that I felt no pain at all. Just a bit of soreness. I was able to get up and reposition myself and drink some water, then off to the discharge area. I was there for about 2 hours, so that I could have a little something to eat and they could do vitals for a little while. I was out of there and home by 2pm!

Now I'm just hagning out, drinking water and sleeping. My new boobies are really pretty :) No clue what's happening with the belly, and I have to wait until Friday to see it unwrapped!

Saturday, May 28, 2011

The screaming. Make it stop.

I worked today, which is unusual for me. I don't typically work weekends, because I work second shift during the week and that is my perq for working the "crappy" shift. Personally, I like evenings. That has nothing to do with anything, but I do. Like evenings.

Mainly because I don't have to make dinner for the children. Around 4:30, my darling little angels begin grousing about the lack of snacks/milk/fruit/flesh of animals in their darling little bellies. I begin gathering my dinner supplies, pouring milk, getting plates from the cupboard. The second Mommy's little sweathearts see the food? They go apesh*t. Wailing, gnashing of teeth, rending of clothes apesh*t. Pat will jam himself between my legs and the cupboard and wail for a piece of food, subsequently bashing his head against a drawer pull and wailing EVEN LOUDER. Charlie sits in the middle of the kitchen floor and does this droning whine that makes me want to TEARMYHAIROUTOHMYGOD. When I finish the prep and dish everyone's dinner, I put them in their chairs and call for Lily to use the bathroom before supper. I put the food down in front of the rabid little monsters and their gaping maws...and in four minutes flat they have annihilated ALL the food and are crabbing around for more. They eat more than adults. It is insane. Did you see dinner for me in there anywhere? No? That's because I don't get any. If I am eating once they have destroyed their meal? It makes them crazypants.

So when I work evenings, my dear husband makes dinner, and I enjoy an hour long lunch break with adults. Win.

Today I worked the 0700-1730 shift. Meaning I got home at 6pm which is usually pajama time for the boys. Today it was streak from the living room to the kitchen and scream at Mommy while clawing at her pant legs to be picked up time. It took forever to get them changed and that hour from 6 to 7pm was the longest. hour. ever.

It's not that I don't miss them when I'm gone. I do. But that doesn't stop me from wanting to leave again...what can I say? I am the least mothering mother I know. I'm basically a dude. I am the work full time breadwinner type. My husband is much more mom-ish than I am. He's a caretaker by nature, it's one of the things that attracted me to him. It's a good thing he's the one home most of the time. I am the person who describes the emotion felt upon the birth of her child as "a deep sense of obligation". Not exactly a poetic reaction, right?

On a less dramatic note, the boys had ice cream for the first time on Friday. People look at me like it's weird that they haven't had ice cream. They are 14 months there a timeframe for ice cream? Anyway, Charlie picked up the scoop with both hands and cried because it was cold. That didn't stop him from eating it, mind you, he just cried the whole time and freaked out when anyone tried to take it from him (to, you know, stop hime from crying). Pat poked his icecream with his finger and cried because he couldn't pick it up. I wish I had video of it. I'm pretty sure there was money to be made off of that one!

Tonight's exchange with Lily:
Me: It's 8 o'clock, time for bed!
Lily: I don't want to go to bed.

Nothing special, but if you repeat the lines over and over and over and over again? They become funny to the point where you and your three year old are laughing so hard you can barely speak. My daughter is a crazy person. She gets that from her Dad.

Less than 3 days until Ta Ta Tuesday!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

And I Ra-a-an, I Ran So Far A-wa-a-ay...

So yeah. I am a runner. Of sorts. Here is a nifty survey I stole off Kim's blog!

What is your favorite type of cross training?
Wait. What? Cross training? Does golf count? Sometimes I do P90X...

What is your favorite running song?
Hmmm...."Let Go" by Frou Frou. I listened to it on one of my first runs, and it still transports me. "Closer to Fine" by Indigo Girls. "Two Step" Dave Matthews (the Red Rocks version). I also listen to Eminem. A lot. I'm a little ashamed of that...but so many of his songs just fit. Plus, did you know he's a runner? Yep. It's true.

What brand of shoe do you wear?
Mizuno. Specifically the Wave Alchemy. Love them. I recently bought a pair of Brooks (because they were an awesome, awesome color) and while they were a nice tryst, I doubt I'll be leaving my long time love.

Do you wear a hat when you run?
A fleece hat in the winter, but that's it. I hate ball caps. They make me look like a dude. I will wear a visor when my hair is long, but that's it. I'm a bandana girl.

What temperature is your favorite for running?
35 degrees and sunny. For real. Anything over 60 sucks ass.

Do you have any big races coming up?
Next half is the Whistlestop in October, then the Fall 50 relay.

Are you a morning, noon, or evening runner?
Morning. The earlier the better. I'm actually peeved when the days shorten because my runs have to be later. If I'm not done running by 10am, I'm unhappy. I never run outside in the dark. Ever. Pre-dawn glow is okay, but not the dark. I am far too paranoid. I'm pretty sure muggers and rapists aren't awake at 5am.

Do you run solo, or with a buddy?
Solo, please. It's my only alone time, really. I will occaisionally run with a friend, and there's one in particular that I race with (well "race" is a loose term, it's more like "chat idly while moving feet"), but it's not my usual.

What is your favorite post-run snack?
I can't eat right after I run, though I do like chocolate milk.

What is your favorite distance?
The half marathon. 5Ks are fine, but for some reason I really dislike 10Ks. They bother me. A half feels like an accomplishment, but it doesn't eat up your whole day.

What is your least favorite race?
The Bellin Run (Huh. A 10K. Go figure). It's just too damn big. 40,000 runners or somesuch. By the time my wave starts, the elites are finishing. That and there are too many walkers that don't observe race ettiquette...also most of the course is boring as hell.

Who is your running idol?
Ummm....I dunno.

How long have you been running?
About 4 years. Long enough to know some stuff. Not long enough to be fast.

Do you run with your wedding ring on?
Nope. No jewelry. Especially rings, as my fingers swell when I run.

What is your favorite workout?
The long, slow run. Turn off the brain, turn on the tunes, and just go on vacation in my head.

Do you use a Garmin or other tracking device?
I have a Garmin 405 that I adore (though it locked up on me before the Cellcom. Dirty bastard thing.). I used to use Nike+ until I realized that it lies through it's virtual teeth about your pace and distance. I don't like being lied to. Not even by disembodied Lance Armstrong.

So that's my running in a nutshell. Totally awesome, right?

On a completely, totally, outrageously unrelated note, I dreamed last night that I'd had my surgery. And my new boobs were beautiful. And they were on my husband.

I have a feeling they're only going to get weirder over the next 4 days.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Countdown to Ta-Ta Tuesday

I had my pre-op yesterday. Talked to the surgeon, got prodded a bit, and tried on some boobs! Well, what I thought I wanted? Were large to the point of slight ridiculousness.

Okay, that's not fair. I would not have looked freakish or abnormal, but I would have looked *ahem* blessed. Also would likely have attracted more attention than generally wanted. It was kind of funny, because when I told the surgeon what I thought I wanted, he took some measurements and said "Well, that's possible, but I don't think that's what you really want. I think you'd like this size (handing me a boob) a lot better". So I tried it on. And he was really, really right. He then said "I mean, we're not looking to make a living with these, right?"

This is one of the reasons I picked this surgeon. Because of comments like that.

So what sizes, you ask? First I should probably explain (for those without the fake ta-tas) that silicone breast implants (yes, I'm getting silicone, and no they don't cause cancer/lupus/silicone migration/fibromyalgia/insert disease of the day here) come in three "profiles" which indicate how wide they are at the base and how far they "project" or stick out from your chest. The same size implant can look very different in each profile. I thought I wanted 339cc implants in a moderate plus (kind of sticky-outy). Turns out I want a 286cc mod-plus or a 300 high profile (really sticky-outy). You wouldn't think that 40-60ccs (3-4 tbsp) would make much difference, but holy crap did it ever. I put those 339s in and put my t-shirt on and BA-BAM! Boob city. It was freaky. The 286s looked like I always wished I looked. Full, perky, conservative cleavage. Normal. Pretty. I'm officially getting excited.

My belly will lose between 6 and 8 inches of skin. Sounds incredible, doesn't it? That there could be EIGHT INCHES of just hanging flabby stuff? That is what twins did to my body. I almost can't believe I get to have it fixed. I'm registered. I'm scheduled. It's all paid for.

7 days until Ta-Ta Tuesday!!

Friday, May 20, 2011

No! I want a KISS not a FART!

The title is something my daughter actually said to me last night. By way of explanation, I didn't actually fart on her.

Remember that episode of the Cosby Show when Cliff and Rudy were "zerberting" each other? Basically involving blowing a raspberry on the other person's cheek? This is what I did. She knows what a zerbet is (what can I say, I love the Cosby Show), but is completely obsessed with farts lately. It's annoying. But when I zerberted her cheek and she came back with that line? I laughed. Loud. To the point where I had to sit down on her bed so I wouldn't fall over.

First she looked at me like I'd grown another head. Then she laughed, too.

Yesterday night she and my husband had this exchange:
Jamie: What would you like for supper? A hot dog?
Lily: No.
Jamie: Spaghetti?
Lily: No.
Jamie: A grilled cheese sandwich?
Lily: Nope.
Jamie: Then what do you want?
Lily (smirking): A kick in the ass?
Jamie (stifling laughter): That's not a nice thing to say.
Lily: Okay, sorry. A kick in the butt?

At this point he was laughing. I wouldn't have made it that long. This child says the weirdest stuff. I'll take the blame for some of her language. I curse like a sailor, and while I try to watch my f*cking mouth around the baby....I often fail.

Lily: I want some lotion on my hands.
Me: Here you go (squirting lotion on one hand)
Lily: NO. I want it on BOTH hands.
Me: So rub your hands together and you'll have it on both hands.
Lily: Oh for f*ck's sake.

I had to admire the fact that she used the phrase in it's appropriate context.

So here's my big decision. I'm going to run a full marathon next year. Earth shattering, no? Specifically, the Outer Banks Marathon in November 2012. It's in North Carolina and goes along the beach. I've already scoped out rental houses and been in touch with an owner about Friday arrival and departure. I will make this happen. I've run 6 half marathons and have shaved more than 30 minutes off my original time. I'm going to get some speed coaching over the winter, get a few halfs (halves?) in during the spring season and then spend the summer working my way up to marathon shape. I'll do a half in October (as usual), the Fall 50 as a speed workout, and then the big 26.2 in November. Should be plenty of time to recover from surgery and get back into racing form.

I always said I'd wait until all the kids were school age so I'd have the time to train, but I don't want to wait 4 years. I want to start planning now. I need a vacation, and what better way to take a vacation than to include something awesome like my first marathon? Also it gives me license to eat everything that's not nailed down while on said vacation. Copious beer as well!

So, to that end, I've loaded up my Kindle with marathon training plans and strategies and while I'm recovering from surgery I'm going to develop my training outline for the coming year. I'm also going to knit, but that has nothing to do with running and everything to do with awesome striped socks.

Monday is my pre-op aka "Boob try-on day". I'm kind of excited. My husband is really excited. I have no intention of going all Playboy, but I've gotta say...the prospect of actual cleavage excites me. I've been a padded bra girl all my life. Lately I've been wearing inserts (you know, those chicken cutlet looking deals) to "practice". Also so I don't show up at work 2 weeks post op all "HELLOOOOOOOO!!! Looky here at my fake knockers!!!!" I'm easing into it.

Have I mentioned that I'm terrified of surgery? TERRIFIED.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Wow. Day 2.

I haven't run a step since Sunday, which makes me grumpy.

Sunday was the Cellcom Green Bay Marathon (well half-marathon for me). First time running that distance at the event, and I have to say it was fun! I also set a PR in spite of brutal winds. 2:12:48...not exactly world record pace, but I was tickled by it. The spectators were fun, the post race beer was cold, and it was a beautiful day (once I stopped running into a headwind). Unfortunately, all of my friends (save one) that were to run the race had to drop out. Injury, conflicts, by one they fell by the wayside. My friend Laura had a killer time (2:08:08), but I never saw her at the start so I missed the chance to pace with her (dammit!!).

My overall observation for the day is this: 13.25 miles (mismeasured course) on concrete roads that are in questionable repair? Yeah, it's hard on the joints.

So now my spring racing season is over. It was pretty successful! Ran the Dick Lytie Spring Classic in March in 2:17:34 which was a personal best. It was 30 degrees, sunny, and windy that day...and there was a pretty substantial snowpack because it snowed 18 inches two days before the race! I did the Door County Half Marathon the week before Cellcom in 2:21:50. I had a 2:15 in me that day, I think, but I was busy running and chatting with a friend :) What a beautiful course that is. The weather was perfect, too...couldn't have asked for a better day.

Now that my 3 spring half marathons are behind me, and my next isn't until October (Whistlestop half...followed by the Fall 50 relay), my next adventure

So have I mentioned I have kids? Three of them? Two of which are twins? Big ones? Well, they are. I went to 37.5 weeks and they were each 7lbs. I was a landmass. I lost all the baby weight, but I'm pretty destroyed, so a week from next Tuesday I'm having all my bits put back where they belong. I am terrified. Also excited. Excited and terrified. Yup.

I need to run out my anxiety, but there isn't any time! Work, kids, work some more, baby showers out of town, kids, pre-op, work, work, work, kids, anniversary (our 5th!), work, work, work, SURGERY. Did you see "run" in there? No? Well neither did I. I need to find a way to wedge it in, though...I won't be able to run for a month (!!) after the procedure, so I have to get it in now!

If only the weather would start cooperating.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Let's see if I can manage to keep this up...

So I realized while I was posting this that I used to have a blog. 5 years ago. And I posted to it twice.

Wonder if this will go any better...

Well, here goes. I'm a 33 year old wife, mother, pharmacist, and runner. Pretty much in that order. The pharmacist and runner parts balance out the wife and mother parts. Most days. Other days beer balances out the wife and mother parts.

Maybe this will be entertaining...maybe it will be inspirational....maybe it will be total crap. Feel free to throw whatever rotten vegetables may be handy.