The Challenge is Over, but the Fun is Just Beginning

The Lurong Challenge ends today!  I made it!  With minimal cheating and a whole lot of success.

www.lurongliving.com/challenge2013

 

 

I would encourage you to visit the website and learn more about the challenge, it was a really cool experience.  This company sells a deer antler velvet supplement, which you don't have to take to do the challenge, and I didn't.  I don't take supplements.  I tried once, but I keep forgetting to take them, so I figured why bother?  I'll just eat better and not have to worry about it.

 

 

For the last 8ish weeks, members of CrossFit boxes all over the country have been competing to see who can eat the cleanest and improve the most on a few benchmark WODs.  My results were awesome!  There was no weight component to the challenge, but I did do a before and after and I lost 11#.  That made me pretty happy, because I'd slipped off the wagon a bit before the challenge began and I was feeling kind of bloated and blah.  Measurements wise I lost 4 inches overall, which sounds small compared to some of the others I've seen, but that included an 1.5 inches off my hips and an inch off each thigh (which are still bizarrely uneven, but it is what it is).  My jeans are thankful for the reprieve.  More than these visible effects, though, I just feel a lot better.  I feel stronger, and my lifts got better, and I improved my time on each and every benchmark workout.  That was pretty cool.

 

I also got back into my red scrubs, which I refer to as being "red pants skinny".  They are a size small, and while I know that scrub sizing is bullshit, I am a girl (no really, I totally am, I crapped out a few kids and everything) and that makes me feel a little good.  Or a lot good.  Depends on the day.

 

Now that the challenge is over, I'm really looking forward to half and half in my coffee.  I'm tired of coconut milk. It doesn't take bad, but it's a little grainy.  The no dairy at all thing was hard, not that I eat that much of it.  Still, sometimes a girl likes a cheese curd.

 

I went to a party last night and had an odd realization:  It's been so long since I had a drink that I forgot what I used to like to drink.  I ended up having a couple of vodka cocktails, but they were sort of anticlimactic.  In retrospect I almost wish I hadn't had them.  I didn't even get a buzz on.  Snore.

 

In other news, I've made great strides in my effort to assemble a sweatpants based wardrobe.

NC state sweatshirt and Tennessee Volunteers pants.  Total expenditure? $13

 





I also bought a couple of ginormous pairs of men's sweats.  Drawstring = fitting.  They are so comfy.

 

I just finished getting my Winter/Spring running calendar together, and it's pretty exciting (if you like running and racing, which I do.  If you don't, prepared to be bored stiff).

 

Run Less, Run Faster has resurfaced!  I'm going to spend 12 weeks working on running my fastest 5K (goal = sub-28).  I have it all planned out and scheduled.  I even went so far as to program each workout into my Garmin.  I'm going to do actual speedwork, consistently, for 12 weeks pre-race.  I've got a warm up 5K in January with the goal race in February.  March and April will be fairly quiet, but May?  May is going to be CRAZY!!!  A race every weekend, with 3 of them being out of state.  I'm am beyond excited.  Here's the round-up.

 

January:

Icebreaker 5K (indoors)

February:

Seroogy's Valentine Run 5K

March:

Point Bock 5 miler (my PR is going down on this one!)

Two Rivers 10-mile

April:

Drake Relays On-The-Roads half marathon

May:

Door County Half

Ragnar Cape Cod

Cellcom Green Bay Half

Soldier Field 10 miler

Des Moines Dam to Dam 20K

June:

Bellin Run

HFM marathon relay?

July:

Ragnar Trail Lake Tahoe

 

It looks a little nutty, but I love having a full race calendar.  It motivates me to keep moving forward, even if I'm having a bad day.  Some of these races I've done before, but a lot of them are brand new, and I can't wait to get started. 

 

Hooray!  It's time to run again! 

 

 



I Just Need to Say This:

I just have to get this off my chest.  Stores are going to open on Thanksgiving.  Get the fuck over it.  I've seen this thing circulating on Facebook over the last few days.

What disturbs me about this is the last statement.  Everyone Deserves a Holiday. 

It sounds nice, doesn't it?  Everyone deserves a holiday.  Sure they do.  What annoys me is the implication here that the families of retail workers are somehow different or more important than those of us who work in other service industries.  I speak here of those who work in Public Service as police, firefighters, and EMS workers.  For those of us who work in health care settings.  For people who serve the public working at TV stations, radio stations, power stations, and gas stations.  For retail workers at grocery stores and in restaurants. For the motherfucking football players that you watch as part of your family Thanksgiving tradition.

ALL OF THESE PEOPLE HAVE FUCKING FAMILIES.

You might say something like "Well, you chose to be a doctor/pharmacist/paramedic/power worker etc etc ad nauseum.".  Sure.  I did.  You, retail worker, chose to work at a store.  People shop in stores.  The money that the store rakes in by opening up at midnight on Black Friday, or at 8pm on Thanksgiving?  They use that to pay you.  Probably to pay you holiday pay. 

Have you ever run to the grocery store on Thanksgiving Day?  I'd wager you have, or a member of your family has.  Maybe you ran out of eggs, or forgot the whipped cream.  It sure was nice that they were open, wasn't it?  That year Grandma forgot to use a potholder and burned the shit out of her hand?  I bet you were glad the ER was open, and the 24 hour pharmacy down the street was able to fill her burn cream and pain pills.  When you were almost to Aunt Mary's place and realized the car was out of gas and that BP was open so little Jimmy could take a piss-sure was nice that cashier was there.  That nice old man that came into Jerry and Pat's every day was happy we were there on Thanksgiving, because we were his family-he didn't have anyone else. 

I'm on call this Thanksgiving.  My husband works a 24 hour shift.  We aren't making holiday pay, but I'm guessing if your TPN pump goes kablooey or your house catches fire you won't hesitate to call us.  Guess what?  WE HAVE A FUCKING FAMILY.

Sure, you don't NEED a discount sweater on Thanksgiving Day.  You don't need it at 2am the day after, either, but I don't hear anyone bitching about doorbusters. Do you really NEED to watch football/TV on the holiday?  Make a beer run?  Eat out?  No, you don't.  If you don't want to shop on Thanksgiving, then don't.  I won't be.  I never shop at all if I can help it, and certainly not anyplace that doesn't end in ".com".  But let's not pretend that it's because we value family so much or because "Everyone Deserves a Holiday".  That is total horseshit unless you're prepared to forgo all of the other conveniences of modern life so everyone else can stay at home, too.

Rant over.

It's That Time of Year Again!

No, not the holiday season.  Fuck that shit.  Halloween is fun for the kids, but I won't be eating candy this year and aside from a themed party at the end of Lurong I don't much care about it.  The party is a WWE themed "come as your favorite wrestler".  I'm going to go as Lita. 

 

 

As you can see, this is clearly a stupid idea.  I'm a 36 year old mother of three.  Then again with a full face of makeup, an outfit from Hot Topic, and my tits jacked up to my chin?  I might look kinda hot.  Or at least a room full of drunk ruggers will think I look hot.  More than likely I'll just look ridiculous, but whatever.  It's a party and I'll be wearing a party wig.  That wig is the bomb.  It was $7.35 on Amazon.  Free shipping.  Totally worth it.

 

Along the Holiday Schmoliday line, I'll be on call Thanksgiving day and the whole weekend following it.  So that means I either have to host at my house or my family will go to dinner somewhere without me.  Maybe we'll just hang here and eat pizza.  Holiday basically blown.

 

Christmas usually just makes me stressed and angry.  I'm atheist, so there's no religious connection for me (I will admit to a fondness for carols, but that's mostly because I'm an ex-singer and I know the alto and tenor lines for every one of them.  It's fun to sing harmony in church.  It really messes with people around you.).  I do like the baking part of Christmas, and I plan to get hammered and do a shitload of it. Then I will force feed cookies to my friends, family, and co-workers at every opportunity.  I find gift giving very stressful.  I despise shopping, and the hatred is amplified during the holiday season.  There is no sign of brotherly love in a mall.  If I can't get it on Amazon?  I don't need it.  I knitted Christmas stockings for the whole family last year, and I love the tree and the lights.  If we could skip gifts and just eat cookies, drink fizzy wine, and cuddle in front of the fire I'd be down with Christmas.  Happy Saturnalia, bitches.

 

As long as I'm on Christmas, I'm just going to say this:  My saying "Happy Holidays" is NOT a war on Christmas.  It is a freaking greeting.  It means "Hey you, person I may never see again, you have a banner fucking Christmas and a balls out New Year" and also handily encompasses Hanukkah (well, not really this year since Hanukkah starts in November), Kwanzaa, and Ramadan (when it falls in December).  You go right ahead and wish a Merry Christmas to all the godless heathens you want and I won't say a word, even when you say it to me.  It doesn't offend me.  I don't want you to stop saying it.  I just want you to not get all assed up when I say Happy Holidays.  Mkay? Mkay.

 

So what does "That Time of Year Again" mean?  I'm glad you asked. 

 

It's Athletic Stupidity Time!!!

The time of year when I sit down with my brand new calendar and plan my training for the year ahead.  I sign up for a crapton of races, meticulously plan my training, then look back and think HOLY JEEBUS I'M RACING EVERY WEEKEND IN MAY.

 

So what's on tack for 2014?  I'm gonna get faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssstttttt.  I've been on hiatus from training and really only running here and there for the last month or two.  I run when I want, no watch, no plan, just recreational.  It's been nice, but I haven't had the urge to go out much.  The last two weeks with the leaves turning and the air crisping up?  I want to run.  More than that, I want to train.  So train I shall.  Including speedwork. 

 

Goals:

1. Post at least one sub-8 mile (PR is 8:05)

2. Break 28 minutes in the 5K (PR is 29:30-and I walked during this one)

3. Break 2:10 for the half-marathon (PR is 2:12)

 

Races:

1. Indoor 5K in January, just for funsies

2. Seroogy's 5K in February (this is my break 28 race)

3. Point Bock in March (I'd love to put up a sub 48 here)

4. Crazylegs in April (if we can get in-never done it and I wanna)

5. Door County half

6. Cellcom half (my break 2:10 race)

7. Soldier Field 10 miler

8. Des Moines Dam to Dam (I think it's a 20K-it will be my first)

 

Races 5-8 are in May.  It's going to be awesome.

 

My only real non-running goal will hopefully be accomplished in the next couple of months.  I got a pull up bar and some bands.  I am going to do pull ups.  Enough of them to get me to a place where I can do them unassisted.  It has been my goal for a long time, but I'm not going after it hard enough.  I have never been able to do one.  I failed the fucking flexed arm hang in the Presidential Fitness thing every. fucking. year.  Not anymore.  My 36 year old self will accomplish what my 15 year old self couldn't imagine.  Hell, if you told 15 year old me what 30ish year old me would do she would have laughed in your face.

 

I love a brand spanking New Year!  I love planning and training and racing!  And I can't wait to hang a bunch of new medals on my display.  If I can make it through the holidays. (Did I mention I'm also on call for almost an entire week over New Year? Because I am.)

 

What are your goals for the New Year?  Does this stuff sound crazy?  Can you do pull-ups?  Have you ever gone to a party with your tits jacked up to your chin?

 

 

 

These Christmas tree cookies are the bomb.

 





 



I Was Going to Write Two Posts, but then I Said "Fuck That".

This is going to be long.  You've been warned. It's also going to be picture heavy, so there's that.

Hi!  It's been a long while!  I've been a little busy and a little lazy and a little sick and a little self-destructive.  I think I'm reaching equilibrium again, though, so no worries.

Work:

I've been around long enough to start taking call.  In fact, I'm on call right now, covering for a co-worker who is headed to the Packer game today.  So I'm getting paid an embarrassing(ly low) on-call rate to write this blog.  That's right, bitches, I'm getting paid to blog.  Ha.

Call is...weird.  I'm sure I'll get used to it but for the moment I'm treating the pager like a newborn.  Did I leave it in the dressing room?!?  Where is the pager?!?  Did it make any noise?!!?  I obsessively check it to make sure I didn't miss a page.  It's getting better, but I still pretty much sleep with it next to my head.  I've run errands, gone to CrossFit, and visited the zoo with the pager, but I have yet to take it out on a run.  I'm deathly afraid that it will be out of range on a long run and I'll miss a page.  Not that I get stat pages like a doctor, but still. 

Running or Should I Say Ragnar:

I just got back from running Ragnar Colorado.  See?

The Colorado finish line.  Snowmass village at the base of a ski run.

This was a corporate sponsored team, which is how I got sucked into going into high altitude.  Team Pawngo was formed by a Ragnar buddy and they needed a few runners to round things out.  Pawngo is an online pawn shop run by some extremely entertaining people.  If I had anything to pawn, I'd give them a go.  I don't though.  Have anything to pawn. 

So.  Ragnar Colorado.  It's really, really beautiful.  And pointy.

I would seriously consider training for this one with an altitude mask, especially if you have a longer leg or a higher altitude leg.  I was sucking wind big time on this one.  The weather was unpredictable (mountains, you know), but mostly nice.  The was very little air in the air, however.  It made everything feel harder.  I was runner 10 and had a 10.4 mile leg with a 1000ft altitude gain over the course of it.  It was noon, it was hot, and I got a combination of altitude sickness and heat stroke at about mile 3.4.  The world tilted and spun, and I barfed.  I have never, ever ever ever, barfed due to a workout.  I felt like a big weenie, but there were several others that crapped out on that leg-so it wasn't just me. 

My dark leg was terrifying.  I saw the route in daylight and it was gorgeous.  In the dark?  TERRIFYING.  It was under highway 70 beside a rushing river.  At 3am.  There was no light beyond my headlamp.  TERRIFYING.  I dithered over the way to go (there were a couple of poorly marked forks in the trail) and waited for other runners to come up on me so I would have someone to follow.  I think if I'd had knuckle lights as well it would have been better, and now that I know what it looks like down there I could do it again without the fear.  That morning though?  I felt like I was running down into the center of the earth and it was TERRIFYING.  I was so freaked out at the end that I actually broke down a little.  I'm going to blame that on the altitude, too. 

My first leg was beautiful.  Run into the setting sun alongside a babbling brook turned river.  So lovely.  I should've taken pictures.

Ragnar had trouble getting the medals through customs, so they weren't at the finish.  They scared up some temp medals though, and we got our Mile High medals for doing CO and another Ragnar in 2013.  Our team captain wanted to make sure we got a medal at the end, so we made some on the fly.  So I got 3 medals, and my official Ragnar medal is still on the way.

See?  Hardware.

Overall this race was well run, albeit in need of a few more signs.  I would recommend it, it is really beautiful.  It's fairly easy to fly to Denver and drive to the start, the race is run almost entirely on paved bike trails, and the exchanges provide a lot of creature comforts.  The towns you encounter range from rural to ritzy and there's lots of good food, coffee, and beer to be had.  The free beer at the end was Coors, which was somewhat disappointing.  So much awesome beer in the area and...Coors.  Coors is Coloradan for beer the way Foster's is Australian for beer.  Namely, it isn't.

I'm fairly certain I'll be spending a week biking, hiking, and golfing in the mountains around Snowmass/Vail in the near future.  Summer is the low season, but since I don't ski I can take full advantage of the awesome prices!

After the race, those of us heading to the airport got a chance to stop at Biker Jim's gourmet hot dogs in downtown Denver.  I had a Bat Dog and fried pickles. Delicious.  I also got to see some friends from college that I haven't seen forever!!  A great end to the weekend.

Nanannananananananana BAT DOG!

In other exciting running news:  THE BROOKS LAUNCH IS BACK!!!

You may not think that's exciting, but I do!  I ran my first marathon in those shoes and they are the BOMB.  I was so sad when the line was discontinued last year.  But now they're back!  And I ordered a pair!  And they'll be here this week!  Hurrah!

CrossFit:

So I've been out of the box the last two weeks.  I had a great day of snatching and clean and jerking, and then I went to Colorado and came back totally hungover (not literally-sleep deprivation like) and kind of sick.  I thought it was allergies, but now I think it was more than that.  At any rate I was just tired as hell and headachy and sick feeling.  So how did I deal with that?  Not working out and being...

Self-destructive:

Do you do this to yourself?  Just totally fuck up your health and well-being for no good reason?  I do.  Yeah, I wasn't feeling well, but I could've stayed on track with my nutrition and just taken it easy in the gym.  Did I do that? No.  I ate shit and felt sorry for myself, and ate more shit and felt worse.  I have no idea why I do this, but it's a continual pattern in my life.  If I still smoked I would've been a chimney the last week.  I probably have some deep seated mental disorder selfsabotagitis or successophobia or somesuch.  Or maybe I'm just an asshole that needs to stop being such a slug.  That's probably it.

The Lurong Challenge:

The one thing that helps snap me out of a self-destruction spiral is a challenge.  Especially if it is one that makes me accountable to other people.  The Lurong Challenge is a new thing, last year was the first year.  It's a Paleo/CrossFit competition dealie wherein your box forms a team and tries to improve performance and nutrition over the course of 8 weeks.  It starts tomorrow.  I am pretty excited, because while I'm happy to fuck myself up, I generally don't fuck over other people, and as the team can collectively win stuff for the box, I'll be in 100%.  To that end:

I made my own mayo.  No shitty soy or vegetable oil here.  Just egg, olive oil, mustard powder, lemon juice, and salt.

Suck it, Kraft.



I took a leftover chicken carcass and made my own stock.  Today I'll make three kinds of soup with it.

Suck it, Swanson.



I have assembled my tools for food prepping and am drying kale for chips.

Suck it, Lays.

I have recipes for butternut squash and parsnip soup, broccoli leek soup, and coconut chicken lime soup.  All will be made today.  Waldorf tuna salad, zucchini "noodles", and jicama home fries, too.  Also scotch eggs.  Tonight for supper the husband is making Char Sui. 

I'm very much looking forward to getting back on track and feeling better.  





Self-love:

I've never been too great at this.  I have moments when I'm full of self acceptance, but more when I don't.  It's important to accept yourself.  That's not to say you can't be constantly trying to improve, but you have to appreciate yourself at every stage.  Recently, my husband and I dug our race medals out of the box in our office and displayed them.  Here's mine.

Pain is Temporary, Pride is Forever

That's a fairly sizeable collection, especially considering I didn't start running until I was 30.  These are just the medal races.  The 5Ks and 10Ks and assorted other events aren't represented here.  When I look at these (and there's no avoiding them, they're on the stairwell), I am forced to remind myself that I am capable of more than self-destruction.  These medals represent a lot of time and effort-and a lot of celebration.  We all need to celebrate more often. 

One last thing:

The back of my CrossFit journal

Gandhi was a smart dude. 





DNF (Subtitle: GBRC Ultramarathon take 1)

So I tried out the Ultramarathon experience today.  Let's just say I'm not an ultramarathoner...yet.

I signed up for the GBRC 6hr/8hr ultra this week.  Partly because of some peer pressure from my running friends, partly because of the swag (neato wooden medal and a backpack!  Squeeee!).  When will I learn that life's problems are not solved by cool race swag. 

The answer is never. OF COURSE life's problems are solved by cool race swag!

The other thing that tempted me was the fact that the start line is about a half mile from my front door.  That's a huge plus right there.  Plus it's a trail I run all the time, so I knew exactly what I was getting into.  Or so I thought. 

I felt good on the first 4.4 mile lap.  Nice morning, good temps, fresh legs.  Lap 2? Ditto.  Felt fine.  Lap 3? Slowing down a touch, but nothing major, still feeling pretty good.  Lap 4?  Lap 4 kicked my ass.  I started out fine, then felt my back sort of slip.  It happens to me from time to time, always has.  I have a slight scoliosis of my lumbar spine, and sometimes it rears its ugly head.  Or tail.  Or whatever.  I could feel myself beginning to lock up about a mile into the fourth lap.  I tried to keep running, but as the distance ticked by each step became more painful until finally I was walking.  My shoulders were twisted up to my ears, my back was totally locked up, and my legs.  Sweet cheeses, my legs.  They totally betrayed me. 

I hit THE WALL.

I've never, ever understood "The Wall".  I've never even gotten close to that level of exhaustion.  I have always been able to keep going.  Always.  No matter what my brain told my body, I could not move any faster.  Walking was becoming painful.  My legs were made of lead.  I get The Wall now.  Man I hope that never happens again.  I didn't bonk, I still had my mental faculties, but my body was DONE.  This did prove to me that a 20 mile run is plenty for a marathon/ultra training run.  Too long of a run and you just burn out. 

I finished my 4th lap way off pace and called it.  DNF.  I did not finish 6 or more laps in 6 hours.  No medal. I did get to keep the nifty backpack, though.  Woo!  I would be disappointed in myself, but I don't really have a reason to be.  I still completed nearly 18 miles today.  18 miles I didn't plan on and wasn't really training for.  I stopped so that I wouldn't hurt myself, and there's no shame in that.  It would have been cool to call myself an ultramarathoner, but I'm 35.  There's plenty of time.  I have gone from zero to repeat marathoner in 5 years.  I'm not done yet.

This event was really, really fun.  There were about 60 runners between the 6 hour and 8 hour groups.  Everyone was incredibly friendly on the course (seriously, the level of encouragement was off the charts).  It was refreshing to be on a trail, and because it was a multiple loop route even back of the packers like myself were never really alone.  I met a nice lady named Tamara from Cincinnati, I got to run with some friends that I never get to run with, I met some GBRC people that I only knew from Facebook.  Big win all around. 

Positives for this event:
1. Really pretty course.  Gravel, blacktop, and chip trail complete with big ol' trees and streams and shit.
2. Very friendly feel, lots of excited chatter at the start.
3. Nifty swag.
4. Watermelon in the woods.  This is fucking brilliant.  You come out of the trees and happen upon a waterstop.  Where they have watermelon.  It was...beautiful.
5. There's a lunch buffet after!  With gluten free and vegetarian options! (I didn't eat it, as I went home to swallow a handful of Flexeril and lay on a foam roller.)

Drawbacks:
1. Wood chips in your shoes.  Ouchie.
2. Gravel in your shoes.  Ouchie.

I will totally do this next year.  Only I'll sign up for the 8 hour.  That way I will for sure get 6 laps :)  Who knows, maybe I'll hit a 50k next time.  It could happen.

You CAN Run a Marathon on Little or No Training!

Title credit: Lisa F.  (subtitle "True story, Bro")

Ah.  Grandma's Marathon.  I signed up in a fit of athletic stupidity last year.  I started training, then got a new job, and well....stopped training. 

Ok, I didn't STOP stop, I just...stopped except for long runs.  Except when I didn't feel like it.  Then I didn't do long runs either. 

I did do a 15 miler!  Sort of.  I got water belly at mile 10, so I didn't actually "run" 15 miles.  I walked/ran the last 5 miles.  Pretty much only because my car was 5 miles away.  I know.  I'm a total badass.

In June I raced 2 10ks and did a Ragnar!  And that was all.  Seriously.  Aside from one commute run I didn't run a step in June that wasn't a race.  Maybe that will become my new training philosophy: I run for t-shirts.  I will ONLY run if I'm going to get cheered at and handed a tshirt and a medal at the end.  Sounds fair.

So I ran a marathon on Saturday.  The weather was shitty.  Seriously shitty.  It rained on Thursday and was so foggy that Duluth was invisible on the hill.  Friday? Rain and invisible Duluth.  Saturday? Invisible everything.

We ate and drank beer on Thursday.  Friday we went to the aquarium and to a movie (Star Trek: Into Darkness.  See it.  Zachary Quinto is hot.), then ate and drank.  Saturday we ran.

It was so foggy that Lake Superior was invisible.  I could hear it, but couldn't see it.  The runners around me vanished in the fog rolling off the water, then reappeared only to vanish again.  It was like a bad zombie movie (especially at the back of the pack). 

My strategy was simple:  Don't breathe hard.  Keep it easy and just go as long as you can.  I felt pretty fucking phenomenal until mile 10, and even then I felt pretty good.  One bad thing?  I lost close to 20 minutes overall to port-a-john breaks.  10 of them at mile 5.  Can you say gastric emergency?  I can.  Still, aside from answering nature's call more frequently than seemed normal, I kept moving. 

This race was different than my first (failed) marathon and my do-over.  I was in a good place mentally.  I told my husband "My only goal is to finish upright and smiling" and I achieved it.  In spite of the rain, the gut busting, the fog, and my complete training fail, I felt strong at the end.  What helped?  Finding a friend in the fog!  The completely awesome Lisa F. from my 2012 Ragnar Chicago van was on the course.  She and I leap-frogged a couple of times at the port-a-johns and I thought I'd lost sight of her for good when her neon self appeared ahead of me in the shifting fog.  I picked up my pace to catch her and fell in for the last 3ish miles.  She said her hip was hurting, and I was just lonely, so we finished the last few miles together.  When the rain started I was especially glad to have a friend as that would have pretty much taken the wind out of my sails.  Instead I got to finish happy in 5:49:11.  Upright and smiling.  That's me.

Afterwards I rewarded myself with a small snack

Don't judge me.

 

 

Then a nap and a big steak dinner.  I was off to dreamland before 10pm.  Because I am old.  With all this "I'll only run if you give me a medal" I may need a new medal hanger soon.

This one will look great in my living room.

 

 

There were several awesome things about this weekend:

 

1.  Being there when my husband finished his first marathon in 5:11:01

2. Spending time with two of my best friends that I hardly ever get to see

3. Seeing my friend's husband achieve his goal of completing a marathon after rehabbing an injury

4. Seeing (and getting to finish with!) one of my Panty Raiders

5. Finishing my 2nd marathon

 

The weather was shit, but the weekend was good.  I'm done marathoning until I hit 40, though.  There just isn't time for that kind of training in my life right now.  This is the summer of CrossFit, and I'm excited to get started again. 

 

Whew.  Two blog posts in one day.  I'm exhausted.

 



 

 



Oops, I Ragnared Again...

Anyone who has ever read this blog (all 12 of you) knows that I developed a serious Ragnar sickness last year.  I've managed to reign it in a bit, but I still jumped at the chance to sign up for the inaugural Ragnar Niagara Ontario.  I even captained the team.  Team American Bacon.

 

And I meant business, bitches.

 

 

I threw out a Facebook message and tagged everyone I've ever met that has ever run a mile and got 8 "YESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!" responses almost immediately.  It was awesome.  So I registered us and we found some awesome friends of friends who would become new friends (sickening, right?) and we were set!  Here is the super kick ass part: Absolutely every single solitary person PAID ME BACK!  From what I hear that is vanishingly rare in the Ragnarverse.  I was very, very happy.

 

No Ragnar is without its hiccups.  Pretty much every one I've ever run has had something go awry.  From family emergencies to transportation difficulties to multiple runners dropping out with days to go before a race, it happens to every team.  This Ragnar hit a snag when the fabulous(ly stupid) people at Enterprise realized they ordered a fleet of vans for the wrong weekend then called all the teams a week beforehand to notify us.  Fortunately we had the vans from 2 different companies, and we were able to scramble together a Yukon XL for the missing van.  Unfortunately, one team member had to drop out the day before the race for a family emergency.  We sent out mass emails and texts, but ended up running one runner down. 

 

Still, 11 runners is a pretty good crew.  Especially when one of them is some kind of robot superhero who volunteers to run doubles AND hula hoops "to keep my hips loose."

 

Super Susan!

 

 

Once we had the runner situation squared away (and our travel woes behind us-damn thunderstorms), we were off to Canada in our supersize vehicles.  Driving a huge white van across the border was a trifle nerve wracking.

 



I pictured "the man" as somewhat more ominous.

 

I'm fairly certain the guy that checked out passports was Archie Bunker.  He also didn't appreciate my attempts at humor.  Whatever.  At least he didn't notice the birthdate on my passport is wrong.

 

We drove through driving rain and shitastic traffic to a town called Port Hope where we bunked for the night.  We found a decent restaurant to have dinner at just a couple of miles from the hotel, and were all happily snoozing by around 10pm.  I was the lone Van 2-er in a room full of Van 1-ers that had to be ready for a 7am start.  I didn't mind.  I'm pretty much incapable of sleeping past 6am.  I was dressed and ready to cheer the team at the starting arch.

 

 

Since this was an inaugural race, there were only about 120 teams.  The starting area was sparse, but there was plenty of parking, and everyone was in great spirits.  The weather was perfect, and we were ready to haul ass around Lake Ontario!  But first?  Breakfast.

 





Ain't no way I'm passing up bacon.

 

 

Then we hightailed it to Exchange 6.  Again, much more lightly inhabited than past Ragnars I've done, but that was not at all a bad thing.

 

Van 2.  Emily, Jen, Megan, Jess, Me, and Brett

 

Oh.  One more thing about Exchange 6:

 

Only slightly photoshopped.

 

 

Motherfucking elephant rides.  Now before you go all animal rights, this elephant is named Limba and she is a rescue that is unable to reside with other elephants because of the way she was raised.  The zoo in Bowmanville takes good care of her, and her human trainers are her surrogate family.  The money charged for riding her pays for her food and care.  She was adorable, and very, very gentle. 

 

So we ran.  And we ran some more.  And it was hot.  HOT, I say! Not Chicago 2012 hot, but hot.  Still, the scenery was beautiful, and we handed off to Van 1 at Exchange 12 then headed in to Toronto for some food and rest.  Only we didn't really rest.  First, we ate pork products and sampled a Canadian favorite: Poutine.

 

Yeah.  This did nothing for me at all. 

 

 

French fries with gravy and cheese curds.  No.  Just....no.

 

We took a little driving tour of Toronto and then went up the CN tower (the tallest building in North America!) and took in the sunset over Toronto and the lake.  The view was amazeballs.

 

oooooooooo.  aaaaaaaaaaaaah.

 

While we were taking in the sights, Tim was dodging cruisers (I'm not talking about motorcycles, people) on a dark beach trail and Charli was getting scared out of her wits by her husband who found us on the trail and surprised her (is that cute or what?).  We made for exchange 18 and prepped Megan for her first ever midnight run.  She was lit up like a Christmas tree and armed with mace.  We honestly thought she was going to mace random runners.  "How many kills did you get?"  "ALL OF THEM!!!! I KILLED ALL OF THEM!!!"  She was also carrying a tiny teddy bear that seemed to give her confidence.  Whatever works for you...

 

We had been warned and warned and warned again to "Respect the Residents" in a particularly swank area of the western Toronto suburbs.  There were fucking road signs that the race peeps put up all over the course to remind us.  Imagine our surprise when one of the residents mugged a runner.  Tried to steal her $5 headphones.  Fortunately, there were a crapload of cops all over (you know, to manage us rowdy runners) and the incident was dealt with swiftly.  Still, having been the victim of violent crime in the past, I ran my dark leg like I was being chased.  2.4 miles, 22:57.  As a result, I had to wait at exchange 24...my runner was still in the port-a-john.  No one expected me that soon!

 

After the handoff, we went to exchange 30 and took advantage of some indoor sleeping.  It was nice of the church to open their doors for us, but I could've done without the piped in Jesus music.  It was another gorgeous day and we took the handoff from Van 1 for our final legs.  Everyone was running on a mission.  In spite of the heat they all did great.  Emily was a frakking machine on a sunny leg through a vinyard.  We barely had enough time to stop for fresh roadside strawberries.  Tragic, right?

 

When I took the hand off for my final leg (just shy of 8 miles, pretty much all uphill) I warned my team not to look for me for at least 90 minutes...probably longer.  Turns out that was pretty accurate.  I ran, and walked, and took pictures.

 

Water stop.  That's a Buddhist temple.

 

In spite of my snail like pace, I scored 2 kills on my final leg.  As we came into the finish, I was feeling pretty damn good.

 

 

There are some advantages to being the captain.  Finishing is one of them.  Especially when this is the view from the finish:

 

 

Now, the fact that the finish line was up a flight of stairs was a bit of a bummer at that point, but that view makes up for a lot.  Also there was beer at the top.  I fucking love beer.

 

The whole team gathered for a shot at the end:

Charlie, Annette, Emily, Jess, Jen, Me, Megan, Brett, Marc, Tim, and Susan

Team American Bacon!

 

 

That night we ate an obscene amount of Greek food and watched hockey while we drank.  It was a big lovefest with both vans.  The very best of Ragnar.

 

The next day we said good-bye to several team members early (after slamming a couple of bottles of wine that we couldn't carry on the plane). Then some of us went hunting for tshirts, etc for the smalls in our lives.  Niagara Falls themselves are visually stunning.  The town of Niagara Falls?  Visually sickening.  To quote Brett "It's like the Wisconsin Dells and Reno had a bastard child."  So what did we do? Played Dinosaur Putt Putt golf, of course.

 

Because nothing says "Niagara Falls" like plastic dinosaurs.

 

 

This was a great team.  We had a great time.  I would Ragnar with any one of these people again in a heartbeat.  The course was beautiful and the race was extremely well organized (especially considering its inaugural staus!!).  Staff was always available, and the atmosphere was really positive.

 

This year's medal style was a little different than last year.  So were the tech shirts.  I liked them both.  Charlie was fond of the medal.

 

Who needs a medal hanger when you can hang them on kids?

 

Of course we were already discussing our next adventure by the time we got to the airport.  Lake Tahoe trail Ragnar 2014.  Can't wait.