Behaving Like an Adult or "All My Ideas are Awesome"

I was almost killed by an avalanche of leggings and booty shorts while attempting to clean out my closet the other day. People might say I have a small problem with the purchase of activewear. Professional people. It might be called a compulsion. An addiction, perhaps. I have a similar issue with home gym equipment. 

Both of these items were purchased secondhand, I'll have you know.

A barbell is a girl's best friend.

This video won't embed properly but it's of a PR 215# squat, bro.

I defend myself by saying that I wear said activewear every single day. Sometimes more than one set if I get sweaty enough. I have clothing that is appropriate for lifting, running, yoga, and assorted outdoor activities in winter. The home gym equipment I buy is in near constant use. Some of it is seasonal, but most of it sees action 5-6 days a week. (That's what she said) I may now own a trap bar and a squat safety bar, but I've already used the trap bar and I've had it for less than 24 hours.

Still, I should scale back my spending. I'm a grown up, as evidenced by the fact that I'm supposed to go to the doctor every year now, the word "screenings" has taken on new significance, and I own a pair of cheater glasses for when my squinty old eyes get tired. We're considering buying a vacation home, so I should probably stop making it rain at Lululemon and Titan Fitness.

It's not really this bad. Most of the time.

So I'm a grown up who'd like to own a vacation house, and I have so many gym clothes I almost died under them.  What to do, what to do.  What's that? I also own a dozen pairs of jeans and about 10 pairs of various Frye boots?  I...well, yes. I do. I also have about 10 pairs of scrubs that are in good condition, more if I keep myself from getting too fat. 

I'm going to stop buying clothes and gym equipment. Not a dime to be spent in 2019. 

If I'm perfectly honest with myself, I don't need a goddamn thing wardrobe-wise. Not one thing. I have jeans and sweaters and shirts and dresses and skirts and bathing suits and leggings and tanks and sports bras and coats and any other item of clothing you can name.

I do not need a single item of clothing. Nothing. So I'm going to stop buying clothing. I mean, I always wear the same dozen or so things anyway. I'll purge what doesn't fit and live with my wardrobe as is. My home gym is very complete (fuck, it's better than most commercial gyms), and even if we do settle on a second home I'll have enough equipment to set up a perfectly adequate satellite gym. No more gym equipment.

One caveat: If something I only have one of becomes damaged or destroyed, I can replace it. I only have one singlet, for example, and if it gets ruined I'll get a new one. Otherwise NO PURCHASES. 

I can totally do this. I went two years at one point without purchasing new yarn, and now that's second nature. I barely buy yarn, and when I do I make the item it was purchased for immediately. 

I taught myself to crochet the other day. I'm using up my 

scrap yarn to make a stuffed sheep.

I was going to stop buying Starbucks as well, but I honestly don't spend much there most months. Maybe $10-15/month. I can afford that. 

I feel more responsible already.

What else is news? Oh yes! Insurance is a giant racket designed to confound even the most persistent client. I finally got approval to treat my varicose veins! But only partial approval. And it took FOUR MONTHS to get the partial approval. The doctor's office is trying to suss out what exactly is covered so they can schedule my therapy. Which will be covered as Out Of Network primal screaming. 

The best bit? I've met our out of pocket deductible for this year. So if I can get in this year? It'll be basically free. If I can't? I'll be paying about half the cost out of pocket. Which is bullshit, because I've been working on this since my groin went haywire last May. I'll reiterate-if I were a dude and we were talking about balls? I'd already be fixed. Not fixed, repaired. You know what I mean.  Some pale-faced hetero XY would've rubber stamped that shit on day one "Take care of your balls, my dude, I'll pour one out for the homies"

STUPID VEIN-Y LEGS.

Post procedure I'll have to take 2 weeks off of lifting. That's ill-timed right now as the State Powerlifting meet is January 19th. Now, 2 weeks isn't a tragedy, and I can definitely still compete IF I can get in and get this done right meow. 

Throw me a bone, Blue Cross!

I did spend a little money I didn't need to spend this past week. I got a few units of Botox jabbed into my neck. For my turkey wattle. 

It's just a little wattle right now.

It's supposed to take a week or so to work, so stay tuned...but honestly I think it looks a little better already. I'm also going to require some microneedling of my face for melasma and a few spots of hyperpigmentation that're making me uglier than absolutely necessary at the moment. It might not bother me so much if I wore makeup, but I'm not about to learn to use that shit so I'll try another avenue. File it under preventative self-care. 

As a further slap in the self-esteem, I got a zit in the middle of my forehead yesterday. So old my face is sliding off, but still having breakouts. Oh, Time, you miserable whore. For the record, I'm fine with being a little wrinkly. What I'm not fine with is that goddamn turkey wattle. Not yet. 

I remain social media free (Well, IG and FB, I've never been much for Twitter et al) as I have been since 11/1. I can't say I miss it. In general it makes me feel lonely. Funny, right? It's supposed to make you feel connected, but I end up feeling listless and kind of sad. I've never been a popular person in spite of my delightful personality and FB just reminds me of it. Social media sometimes makes me feel very isolated. As though I'm watching the world instead of participating in it...or simply documenting my life instead of living it. 

Non-participation does have it's drawbacks. I find that people tell you very little directly. It's just sort of assumed you're seeing the highlight reel and you know exactly what's going on in everyone's lives without being told. That's an odd feeling. Also many, many things are run off the FB platform from group meetings to events. I don't see any of that stuff. Fortunately I have a couple of good friends who keep me in the loop on the more awesome things. 

I've successfully navigated the Thanksgiving onslaught in the salt mine, and now it's time to gear up for Giftmas and the end of the year. I am actively cutting weight for the State Powerlifting meet which means I'm about to be thin and grumpy, but I also get to lift heavy things, which helps. 

I've been trying new recipes and trying not to think about how few carbs I'm allowed to eat. 

Sriracha shrimp ramen. Big winner.

I've also been reading The Saxon Stories. Have you watched The Last Kingdom on Netflix? It's that. Also you should totally watch The Last Kingdom on Netflix.

They're really quite good.

So there you have it, all the boring shit I've been up to for the last monthm, and my resolutions for the New Year. Feel free to hit me up. We can have lunch and you can tell me all about the boring shit you've been up to this last month. 

Back into the dark...