Thursday, September 15, 2016

I Played Dress Up and It Was Awesome or "Front Door Fashion is my BFF and StitchFix Can Suck It"

So I've been getting boxes from StitchFix for a while now. I've gotten some awesome jeans, a couple of cute tops and camisoles, a maxi skirt or two, and lately? A large number of total head scratchers. Clothes that don't remotely fit, or make me look like a box, or fit like a bag, or get stuck on my shoulders. Also, with StitchFix you're getting unrelated pieces, not cohesive looks.

Newsflash, I can't dress myself. I mean, I can dress myself for the gym and I can throw a pair of black scrubs together like a boss, but regular clothes? Yeah. Forget it. Jeans and a t-shirt all the way.

Which makes my deep love of high heeled shoes hard to justify. When you're always in jeans and a hoodie, there's not a lot of call for knee high boots.

I still buy the's just harder to find a reason to wear them besides walking around the house being the very tallest person here! You all look like ants HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! 

So about a month ago, at 3am, I stumbled upon Front Door Fashion. Historically, every idea I've ever had at 3am has been a super-fantastic one, so I dove in. This is a Dallas based company that assembles full looks including accessories and ships them to your door. The idea is that instead of getting a shirt, or a pair of pants that you like but have no idea how to get entire outfits that you can mix and match, along with instructions on how to do that. Style cards, shoe suggestions for each look, and notes from the sylist about how to make it work for your body type.

It's the size of a suitcase. Signature required because there 
is $1000 worth of clothes and shit in there.

The profile you fill out is pretty lengthy, and you're encouraged to leave detailed notes for the stylist...and boy did I ever. My overly-long-but-not-skinny legs, my freakishly long arms, my easily-stuck-in-tailored-clothes shoulders...right down to "Hey, my hair is super-hero blue! Don't send me blue shirts!!" 

You're also asked specific questions about what sizes you take and how different garments fit you. I gave exhaustive detail. To the point that I was worried the stylist was going to think I was unbalanced. But if I was gonna do this, I was gonna do it right. 

Since this is a full styling service, it takes a few weeks to get your stuff. It was about 3 weeks for me. The delivery is signature required, which is kind of a pain, but I get why. This is a huge box with a LOT of stuff in it. A thief would be very well dressed indeed. 

So what was in the box? OMG so much awesome! I feel a little guilty that I didn't do my hair and put on make-up to play dress up with this stuff. Please excuse my plain face and hospital hair...I have to work tonight.


Everything was in a garment bag, labeled and named to correspond with the stylists notes and the style cards included. There's also a packing slip with everything itemized by outfit. You have 5 business days from receipt of the box to decide what you want. A return label is just slap it back on the original box.

Look at all this stuff! 

I'm too lazy to go look now, but the total number of items was staggering. Earrings, necklaces, belts, shirts, pants, camisoles, scarves, jackets, jeans, etc. A ton of shit. It was all beautiful stuff, too. Nice colors, nice fabrics. The stylist even referenced my love of high boots in the style notes...she built two outfits around my boots!!!  YAAASSS QUEEEEENNNN.

The first outfit was coated leggings in a dark wine color. Kind of a leather look, which I found alarming at first, but holy shit they looked awesome and are so comfortable!!! It also included a long camisole, an asymmetrical hem knit shirt (with thumb holes! eeeeeee!) and a scarf. Honestly, I thought it looked pretty good (if a little basic white bitch), but even if I don't keep the scarf and the long t-shirt I'm keeping the damn leggings. Susan? Leggings are totally pants and now I have proof. I love the sort of loose-fitting-over-tight-fitting look on other people, but it always makes me feel...large. Maybe because I'm so tall? I'm always afraid I look like a barge. 

I felt almost fashionable.

The second outfit had a camisole, two different shirts, and a pair of distressed straight legged jeans (and a couple of necklaces and some earrings). The plaid is actually something I would wear...I love plaid shirts, and the camisole was awesome. These jeans are not at all stretchy, so getting them over my booty was a challenge, but they fit fine once I cleared that hurdle. I never know how to feel about the peek-a-boo shoulder type shirt, but I didn't hate this one.

This box was worth it for the goddamn camisoles.

The next outfit included a pair of trouser jeans. These were never really my bag, but I'm open. They were really comfy, just a little bit of stretch, and long enough to wear high heels (thanks, stylist!). I like the flannel shirt, it is soft and fit nicely. I'd probably put a t-shirt of camisole under it. The belt was great, and I needed a brown belt. Not a fan of the earrings (also, I wasn't going to try on earrings...seems icky). The alternate shirt was this loose red cross neck. A leftover from my many varied stints as a fat girl is that loose clothes make me feel big. I didn't hate this top, for all that it was loose and blouse-y, I'll need to consider it again in the next day or two. It's a good color for me at any rate.

It's maybe a little 1970s, but am I.

The next outfit was skinny jeans (which I don't need, but boy were these nice), and a couple of tanks. There was also this jacket which was weird as hell, but I kind of liked it. Sadly, it didn't fit. The sleeves wouldn't come up over the head of my shoulder, and when I bent my arm they were uncomfortably tight over my biceps. I'd never be able to get a shirt under this, and I don't think sizing it up would help...the sleeves were a bit short. This outfit came with an awesome necklace, though.

The black tank says "Save water, drink champagne"

So, yeah. That was Front Door Fashion: Take One. I was impressed. The stylist actually read my notes and everything aside from the jacket fit really well. Pants were all the perfect length, nothing too small or too big, everything comfortable and cute. Patterns that weren't totally off the wall, and even my shitty fashion eye could see many different combinations among the assembled outfits. It's going to be hard to decide what to keep...and my last few StitchFixes have all been "HAHAHAHAHA NO" and back in the mail the same day. 

This is pricier than StitchFix, and if you already have a decent wardrobe you may not need this kind of thing. My wardrobe is non-existent. Seriously...sad as fuck. I need jeans like I need another hole in my head, but a couple of these pairs may stay. And the leggings...sweet baby dolphins I loved those things. I can't believe it...I kind of shopped, and it was fun. Mostly because it didn't involve other people or dressing rooms and I didn't have to comb my hair.

Also today arrived my new swim suit from Savage Swim. It's my goal to wear it proudly in Hawai'i. I tried it on, and it is cute-ish if somewhat intimidating in white. You won't see a picture of it on me here, I have 30 days to make it look as good as possible...then all winter to build up a booty worthy of white bikini bottoms for next summer. 

So. Cute. And Scary.

That's all I got. Just pictures of clothes I got in the mail. Sorry not sorry.

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