Monday, December 19, 2016

Pictures of Food or "I Have No Self-Control"

I've used blogging of and on to keep myself accountable to various things. Training programs, eating programs, knitting goals. For some reason dropping random shit into cyberspace keeps me from going down the rabbit hole. I go down the rabbit hole to self-destruction pretty easily. I fall prey to all-or-nothing thinking and once I'm off the rails, well, look out belooooooow. 

Over the past couple of months I've managed to regain about 4lbs. Maybe some of that is muscle, but Imma say probably not. I'm guessing it's more just lazy eating. Aside from an incident with a container of dark chocolate sea salt caramels in November, I haven't done badly from a food quantity perspective (in that I haven't overeaten the way only I can overeat) but I've slipped on the food quality front. Relying too much on protein bars and cafeteria salads with too much dressing, that kind of thing.

In anticipation of a BIA on 1/5 that will set my baseline for the year, I've been checking boxes for the last few days. Friday I pretty much had one kielbasa, two cookies, and a bottle of fizzy wine. Not the greatest showing, I grant you. Today I did well. Still have about 40oz of water to suck down, but I'm 100oz in and I still have a few hours to bedtime.

One of the things I probably need to get a handle on is my fat consumption. The fats I eat are all of the "good" variety...avocados, olive oil, coconut oil, that kind of thing. I do eat a shitload of it, though, and that runs into calories. I maybe don't need to cook my eggs in quite so much bacon fat, and maybe I could steam a vegetable from time to time instead of roasting them all in olive oil. I'll give it a go.

This morning was a clusterfuck around here. You know how it's so cold it'll freeze your balls off? Well, if you have balls, and I don't. About 15 minutes before we needed to leave for school I started in with the prodding. "Guys, finish up breakfast, you need all your gear this morning and it takes a while to get it all on"

"Yeah, mom, we know"

10 minutes before we need to leave for school. "Seriously, hurry the fuck up, you need to be getting dressed ASAP"

"Yeah, mom, we knoooooooooooow"

5 minutes before we need to leave. "All you little bastards better be 75% dressed or we're going to be late! What have I been saying for the past 10 minutes?!?"

"Mom, I can't find my mitten!"

It is at this point that I totally lose my shit and start screaming profanities at a 6 year old. A quick text to my husband locates the missing mitten, but we're still not all dressed and it's 7:35. So I'm stuffing kids into clothes and cramming them into the car, tossing backpacks in willy nilly so I can drive them the 400m to school while they finish dressing themselves.

What can I say? I am a great mom. 

Once they successfully tumbled out of the car and into the school, I hustled home to change clothes and make breakfast before heading to the gym. When I have a hot minute to cook, I make a nice morning meal for myself.

I don't really need the guac. That should probably go.

Today is day 6 of the 12 poses of Xmas at Jenstar yoga. I did it last year and it was fun and challenging. This year I've got my kids doing it, too (voluntarily, they ask all the time when they can go to yoga again). After breakfast this morning I figured I'd take my photo for IG and get it over with. The kids will have theirs done tonight before bed. 

Wild Thing. No, seriously, that's what the pose is called.

Looking at this picture is what made me realize I've let myself go a bit. Ain't no abs there no more. Hell of a lot of leg, but no abs. I liked the abs. So I'll be a little more diligent on the food front and remember to do my GHDs. My belly is the first place I put weight on, but it's also the first place it comes off, so there's that. 

Today's workout was an unexpected lung burner. It's been a long ass time since I've done wall balls in a WOD. Combined with weighted step ups and dead lifts after a bunch of tabata stuff...I was gassed. WTF happened to my engine. I need to run more, clearly, which I'll do after the first of the year. The 17.75k is in March after all, training begins 1/1. 

I wasn't going to squat afterward, but I figured if I didn't do it right then I wouldn't do it at all. So I did it. Pause squats to 125#. It wasn't as awful as I thought. And then those damn GHDs. 

I sat in the hole with 125#. It was a proud moment. Heaviest pause set ever.

After the WOD I mashed a pepper and some string cheese into my face. No picture. I'll be better about it. It was a red pepper and it was delicious.

Friday I started transitioning my hair to pink. I washed and Overtoned my hair again today, and it's definitely picking up the pink. The violet base is still there, but the pink shows through more than I anticipated. It's going to be fun to make this change. 

This paisley hat really compliments the crazy hair color.
I'm just gonna wear it forever.

My lunch was super fucking lazy. Basically it was a protein shake and this.

I was going to cut them into sticks, but why?

I'll do better. 

School pick up was fun. 85 layers and still cold. Only had to stand outside for 20 minutes, though, so there's that. Next year? These kids are walking themselves home. I'm too old for this shit.


We did all the usual Monday shit and then came home for supper. I did well with supper today. I sat at the table and ate food like a goddamn adult. It's so easy to fall into just eating something standing up while finishing up whatever needs finishing. I do better when I plate my food in an attractive way and sit down and consider it vs. just shoveling it into my head. Snacks, sure. Cram 'em in there. Meals? No. Pretty. Fucking. Food. 


After dinner I spent some funtastic time wrestling toys out of packages. Why is that shit bolted down with bands and ties and plastic stays? To make life a misery for parents? Kids bouncing up and down while you try not to dismember yourself, then realize you can't find the right size Phillips head screwdriver? But, you know, fun!

Since I was feeling stressed out and I'm trying to be a good child and not stress eat or booze myself into oblivion (because abs are not made of fizzy wine, bitches), I did some coloring. My SIL gave me a fantastic Giftmas present in the form of a coloring book and colored pencils. What do you think?

It's looking pretty boss so far.

In about an hour I'll treat myself to a bedtime snack. I fell out of the habit of doing this, too. I'm not sure why. It's nice to have a bedtime snack. I don't wake up so ravenous when I eat one.

Look at all those checked boxes?

As I suck down my 120th oz of water, I'm ready to tuck into my new book. After I pee. I've been waiting for this book for a year and I've only had time to get a few pages in and I'm already hooked. I should resurface in a couple of days. 

My two current favorite series. The Expanse, and Throne of Glass.

Now if only my final skein of yarn for my Zodiac afghan would arrive. I need a fire, some comfort knitting, and my book. That's pretty much my introvert trifecta right there. Warmth, something productive to do with my hands, and something distracting to do with my mind. Heaven. 

Well, there you have it. Another Day One. If you don't feel like looking at pictures of food for the next year or so, it's cool if you leave. I won't think any less of you, random internet stranger.

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