Monday, February 29, 2016

The 2400

I had to miss yoga today in favor of my appointment with Kirk the Nutrition Guy. It's okay, though. I went the last 3 days in a row. I got a treadmill run and some squatting in today, along with a test run on a new goal. More on that later.

Sunday I tried out a Pure Barre class with a friend from CrossFit. It was...not for me. Too fast paced. I've taken barre at my yoga studio, but it doesn't jump around quite as much there. I'm the kind of person that takes a second to catch on, and when I finally get what's up only to realize the movement has changed I get frustrated.  Also you have to wear socks. I hate socks. I mean, I like to knit them...but I never wear socks if I'm not also wearing shoes. Are you a sock-without-shoes wearer? Maybe we shouldn't be friends.

Barefoot 4EVAH.

Sunday we also sanitized the house. This place was disgusting. I'm talking CPS level filth. I am a shit housekeeper, but I make a nice living and I have a nice ass so fantastic husband overlooks it. When my boys were babies I had a cleaning crew come once a month to do the heavy cleaning because I didn't have the energy. Now I don't have the desire. I'd rather go to the gym.  I've fought the idea of hiring a cleaning person for a long time. Part of it is that my mother was a meticulous housekeeper, and I feel somewhat inadequate admitting that I can't keep my own house at that level of sterility. Especially since I literally only work 14 days a month. It also seems unbelievably bourgeois. But I'm white, have a white collar job, am married with 2.5 kids and a dog, and my yard is surrounded by a literal white picket fence. Probably time to admit that I am the definition of bourgeois. Also? I fucking hate scrubbing toilets. So I'm going to hire someone to clean the house. I'm going to think of it as stimulating the economy. 

This morning I got up and showered, combed my hair, and put on actual people clothes. Then I drank 85 glasses of water (or like, 4 glasses) and headed to Nutritional Healing with a Batman thermos full of oatmeal and a flat white. At my last assessment my body water was down and I read as slightly dehydrated. So I was down 7 pounds at that BIA. Today I was up 2lbs exactly...and my total body water was up 2lbs as well. I fixed my hydration problem. Go me. I'm hoping that drinking all this water (seriously, 120oz or more per day is where I've been) will become easier the way eating ALL THE FOOD became easier, because I have been peeing like crazy. And I'd kinda like to practice double unders, but I'm afraid the floodgates will open and I'll end up scrubbing the floor at the gym. 

Fasting is the worst.

My results for today were very encouraging. My weight was up 2lbs, which is totally fine. I was worried it would go down, and I'm glad it didn't. I was also wearing jeans, which is kind of dumb for a weigh in, but I had other errands to run and needed clothes clothes on. They were size 6 jeans...but still. So what happened on the inside? Well, as I mentioned before my total body water was up (yay). I dropped a whole pound of fat and gained almost a whole pound of muscle (HUZZAH!!). In spite of my weight going up, my waist was half an inch smaller (29.5, bitches!). My ass is a little bigger, but unlike most people that's actually one of my goals. So my body fat percentage is now about 23%. My lean muscle mass remains significantly higher than average. I told Kirk about my breakthrough with the pull-ups, and he seemed legitimately excited for me. Then he asked me how I was feeling and I told him "Uh, hungry. All the time. So hungry." I felt a little like Oliver Twist. So he decided to jump me up to 2400 calories a day. TWO THOUSAND FOUR HUNDRED. 
New and improved checkboxes!

This is literally TWICE what stupid My Fitness Pal told me to eat last summer. Stupid MFP. I'm enormous. Enormous people need enormous fuel. Live and learn. To celebrate my extra protein serving, I hacked up two big slabs of salmon into double-sized pieces and bagged them up for the next couple of weeks. ALL THE GIANT FISHY FISH.

With lemon oil and lemon/rosemary seasoning. NOM.

Every meeting Kirk asks me how compliant I've been with the food list/checkboxes. Truthfully? I've been damn near perfect. There's usually about once during each time frame that I have a meal out or a cocktail or something, but it's negligible. And as a chronic self-saboteur that's pretty great. I mean, I'm 6 weeks in here and still going strong with no secret eating or weird binges or crazy cravings. In fact, I haven't had any cravings. I think it's because I spent the first 2 weeks so full I wanted to die. The cravings died before I felt them.

This week we did some specific fitness related goal setting. Goals for the next 2 weeks, the remaining 6 weeks of the program, and for this time next year. It was a little hard to think in those terms, but my 2 week goal is to update my 1RM so I know where I stand in the gym. My 6 weeks goals are to take my body fat percentage down to 20-21% and to do at least one chest-to-bar pull-up. This time next year? Routinely run half marathons around 2 hours, and the 200 BS and 300 DL I mentioned on Friday. It's a little scary to articulate those things aloud. But what the fuck, right? Go big or go home.

I ate my oatmeal in the office, then headed back toward home to have a photo taken for my passport renewal. I even managed to fill out the application, write the check, and take the thing to the post office. Adulting like a boss. By the time I made it home I was fucking ravenous again, so I made eggs.

This is 2 eggs. I think Imma start eating 4.

Then I decided to treat myself to a little dark chocolate and a cup of coffee while knitting.

85% dark. Delicious.

I love John Oliver. I would do things to John Oliver.

I enjoyed a little relaxation time before picking up the smalls after school. We managed to make it to CF Kids in plenty of time, and I did my squats.

5x5 at 115# which is starting to feel a lot easier.

While waiting for the kids to finish up I tried a few chest to bar. I'm a few inches away from kipping, but I can do a jumping chest to bar...which is something. 6 weeks to get up there. 

I made supper for the spawn, and they ate it without complaint. It was just this side of miraculous. They all also indicated they were very tired from their workout and would like to go to bed early. I win.

Sweet potato, sloppy joe, and cheese. 

The kids had buns, but this was aces on a potato. Starchy veg? Check check. Protein? Check. Veg? Check. Dairy? Check. 

Oh, I almost forgot. Saturday night I went out. I wore eye make-up! And a sort of fancy shirt! And my new bitch boots! We had a great time and I wasn't hung over on Sunday. Again...adulting like a boss.

6'2" and 160# of fury.

I learned that there are a lot of really short men in Appleton. Also that if you are a woman over 6 feet tall in a long black coat and resting bitch face, people will part like the Red Sea before you. It was pretty cool. I did feel like I was going to hit my head on the doorframe at Basil Cafe. 

Tomorrow I'll drop off a sketch at Artrageous Ink for Steve to work his magic on. Hopefully I'll be able to get in sometime in the next week or two to get my new piece done. It's just black lines and script, so just a one session deal. I'm excited about it. I'm always excited to get a tattoo. I love them.

Next few days I'll be hitting the box and the yoga mat. Hopefully the weather will cooperate for another outdoor run. I'll also be eating even more.  Strangely, I'm not at all apprehensive about eating more. I'm mostly curious to see what the result will be. 

Oh, and thanks to all of you who visited Nutritional Healing and told them I sent you. I was told there's a referral program. I asked Kirk for a $20, but he didn't bite.

Hmmm. I'm kinda hungry. I think I'll make myself a snack.

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