The title is something my daughter actually said to me last night. By way of explanation, I didn't actually fart on her.
Remember that episode of the Cosby Show when Cliff and Rudy were "zerberting" each other? Basically involving blowing a raspberry on the other person's cheek? This is what I did. She knows what a zerbet is (what can I say, I love the Cosby Show), but is completely obsessed with farts lately. It's annoying. But when I zerberted her cheek and she came back with that line? I laughed. Loud. To the point where I had to sit down on her bed so I wouldn't fall over.
First she looked at me like I'd grown another head. Then she laughed, too.
Yesterday night she and my husband had this exchange:
Jamie: What would you like for supper? A hot dog?
Jamie: A grilled cheese sandwich?
Jamie: Then what do you want?
Lily (smirking): A kick in the ass?
Jamie (stifling laughter): That's not a nice thing to say.
Lily: Okay, sorry. A kick in the butt?
At this point he was laughing. I wouldn't have made it that long. This child says the weirdest stuff. I'll take the blame for some of her language. I curse like a sailor, and while I try to watch my f*cking mouth around the baby....I often fail.
Lily: I want some lotion on my hands.
Me: Here you go (squirting lotion on one hand)
Lily: NO. I want it on BOTH hands.
Me: So rub your hands together and you'll have it on both hands.
Lily: Oh for f*ck's sake.
I had to admire the fact that she used the phrase in it's appropriate context.
So here's my big decision. I'm going to run a full marathon next year. Earth shattering, no? Specifically, the Outer Banks Marathon in November 2012. It's in North Carolina and goes along the beach. I've already scoped out rental houses and been in touch with an owner about Friday arrival and departure. I will make this happen. I've run 6 half marathons and have shaved more than 30 minutes off my original time. I'm going to get some speed coaching over the winter, get a few halfs (halves?) in during the spring season and then spend the summer working my way up to marathon shape. I'll do a half in October (as usual), the Fall 50 as a speed workout, and then the big 26.2 in November. Should be plenty of time to recover from surgery and get back into racing form.
I always said I'd wait until all the kids were school age so I'd have the time to train, but I don't want to wait 4 years. I want to start planning now. I need a vacation, and what better way to take a vacation than to include something awesome like my first marathon? Also it gives me license to eat everything that's not nailed down while on said vacation. Copious beer as well!
So, to that end, I've loaded up my Kindle with marathon training plans and strategies and while I'm recovering from surgery I'm going to develop my training outline for the coming year. I'm also going to knit, but that has nothing to do with running and everything to do with awesome striped socks.
Monday is my pre-op aka "Boob try-on day". I'm kind of excited. My husband is really excited. I have no intention of going all Playboy, but I've gotta say...the prospect of actual cleavage excites me. I've been a padded bra girl all my life. Lately I've been wearing inserts (you know, those chicken cutlet looking deals) to "practice". Also so I don't show up at work 2 weeks post op all "HELLOOOOOOOO!!! Looky here at my fake knockers!!!!" I'm easing into it.
Have I mentioned that I'm terrified of surgery? TERRIFIED.