Last night was strange in that I wasn't really hungry, but I had a strong desire to eat. That often leads to disaster. It hasn't happened to me in a while, just because this checkbox thing has me eating so damn much so often that I'm already eating when the urge to eat for no reason comes and goes. I ate my lunch at midnight as usual, but it didn't satisfy me. Normally I'm good until at least 3am.
It was a big piece of salmon and a crapload of broccoli.
It was disappointing.
And then back again for a BBE.
And then back again for peppers and hummus.
And then my lunch bag was empty and it was 2am and I was all "Shit, I'm about to fail." But you know what? I didn't. I was full, I just wanted to eat. So I made myself a cup of coffee, grabbed another glass of water and just rode it out. It sucked, but I wasn't going to starve and I wasn't going to die. By about 4am I'd settled down enough to be okay. Fantastic husband dropped off the spawn on his way to work and I took them down to the cafeteria for breakfast. I had eggs, bacon, hash browns, and fruit. All on plan. I even watched them split a donut and felt nothing. I win.
In general, when fantastic husband works the weekends I spend most of my day awake which makes me irritable and exhausted. Today a miracle happened. We came home from the hospital, the kids settled into the playroom, and I went to bed. I slept soundly for 4 hours, then woke up and made lunch for the smalls. I just had a piece of toast with sunbutter.
Often when I wake up mid-day I have that post nap "refreshed" feeling which sounds like it would be good but actually sucks because I haven't slept enough and I can't fall back to sleep. Today I still felt sleepy, so I left the kids coloring at the table and went back upstairs to try for some more shut-eye. And you know what? I got two and a half more hours!! It's an April miracle! That brought my total to 6.5 hours which is hands down the most sleep I've ever gotten on a husband-working-weekend-day. I got up, got the kids a snack and changed to get on the treader. I cued up "Inside Out" (which we'd never seen) and got to work.
Can I just say I fucking hate 800m repeats? They make me feel like I'm going to die. I like 400s, I don't mind mile repeats, but something about 800m just takes me to a dark place. It's too long to flat out sprint, but not long enough to really settle into a rhythm. I warmed up with a nice slow 11min/mile, then cranked up to 4 minute splits for 800m. It was a 4x800 with 800 recovery between. Surprisingly, with the movie on it went by relatively quickly today.
I still felt like I was going to die. Here is my "I almost died" face. About a mile in I stripped off my tank top mostly so I could use it as a towel. The kids were horrified by my lack of shirt. "MOMMY. WHY AREN'T YOU WEARING A SHIRT?!?!?"
I. Almost. Died.
Lets talk about this bra for a second. It's a Victoria's Secret sports bra. I bought it the day I got remeasured. It's a front close underwire with a zipper close over the top. I will say it kept everything on lockdown, but I don't know how it will work for long distances (I only did 5 miles today). It's cute, and it looks more like a legit top than a lot of my sports bras, but...underwire. Something about that scares me. Like one of the wires might come loose and stab me through the heart during a half marathon. I also feel like the material at the edges would chafe pretty significantly on a hot day. I was sweating balls during this workout, but again...only 5 miles. More research is needed.
As an aside, one of my longest held body confidence goals is to run outside in just a sports bra and shorts. This is only the second or third time I've managed it in the privacy of my own home, and it's the first time anyone saw me (even if it was just the kids). They were scandalized, but they didn't claw their eyes out or anything. My daughter didn't cry at the sight of my abdomen (she did that once, before I had it fixed). Baby steps? I mean, I've only worn a non-tankini 2 piece bathing suit in public on cruise ships and on foreign soil. Is 2016 the year of schmabs out?
After my run I needed some calories, but I only have one pepper left and I need it for tonight. I snarfed down some raspberries and drank a FitAid.
I really dig these. Just sweet enough.
I took orders for dinner (I don't usually do this, but we had 3 types of leftovers to choose from) and set to work getting it on the table for my starving vultures. I wasn't feeling any of the leftover options (I'll take some for lunch overnight), so I had breakfast. Which is appropriate, since it's kind of my morning. Also a nice cup of Deathwish. I may have another after my shower (that's right, I'm still sitting in my own filth and I don't need your judgement).
Um, it was good?
I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that it's already 6:30. I love this extended daylight. I can't wait until it's warm enough for me to ride my bike to work. I miss that. I think riding home in the morning this summer is going to be awesome. As strange as it sounds, I miss riding home after second shift. Something about that dark ride was deeply thrilling. It was scary sometimes, but mostly exhilarating. I don't think riding TO work in the twilight will be quite the same.
Here's my daily snapshot. I'll have some carrots and hummus later to round things out. I haven't done the greatest with the water today, but I can manage to hit my goal by midnight I think. Kirk keeps telling me that my body will slow the fuck down on the peeing thing as I adjust to more water, but that never happens. Do you know what inspires panic? Waiting too long to take a pee break because you can't get out of the pharmacy...only to find that all 3 of the restrooms near the department are occupied. It happens more often than you think. I got a little side eye for sprinting down the surgical floor to the far employee restroom at 4am.
Since I actually slept today, tonight should be way less sucktastic than usual. Tomorrow the Team WOD isn't until 3pm, so I might actually make one during my work week! Yay! Then hopefully yoga to round things out. It's night 3 of 6, so after tonight I'm on the downslope. 8 days off are coming. Ye gods I love third shift.
I just realized I'm going to get to go to the #fiveonefive next week Thursday! Hooray!
Wow. I'm a whole different person when the spawn let me sleep.