Saturday, January 2, 2016

I Am Crazy Boring

Went to bed early last night, because that's what I do, and this morning I ended up downstairs drinking coffee at 0530. Why? I couldn't breathe out of the left side of my nose.

Yep. That's the only reason. Not to be productive, not to get a jump on the day...I just wanted to sit up so I could inhale.

We got the kids up early today so they could dick around at breakfast for 45 minutes and we could still make the 8:15 WOD at CFGB. Fantastic husband invited a friend (and she came! Yay!) and we did a perfectly hideous partner WOD that consisted of 500 wall balls alternating with planks and a little burpee interlude every 2 minutes. We ended up with 300 WB at the time cap. Which was fine. I was kind of done with balls.

Planks, though? I could do that shit forrreeevvvveerrrrr. 

Before the workout I ate a meal. Because that's what I do now. Eat meals. Like a goddamn grown-up.

Looks familiar, yeah?

So we went and flogged ourselves for an hour, and then I went to yoga. So much lungy-twisty. Jaysus, my legs are shot. I also have another unexplained bruise on my left quadriceps. Honestly, if I hadn't already been evaluated for every blood disorder that exists I might be worried there was something wrong with me. 

I forgot to bring a snack with me to CF to eat after the WOD, and I wasn't going to make another hour of workout without food, so I bought an energy bar at the box.  It's called "The Best Bar Ever" and touts itself as a whole food bar. It has sugar sweetened dried fruit in it. And sucralose. Hmmm.

Liar. Whatchamacallit is way better.

I mean, it was good...I guess? It was really, really sweet and I could totally taste the sucralose. It tastes metallic to me. Same reason I can't hack Progenex products. The sucralose. Why is that shit in everything? Stupid sucralose, ruining my life (it also gives me gas, so that's fun). Also this thing is 300 calories packed into a not-very-large package. I don't count calories, but I was kind of shocked when I looked at the nutrition facts. I really wish I hadn't forgotten my apple.  Oh, and they're $4 a bar. Damn. 

I wore pigtails. And skulls. I had to go to Walgreens after yoga, so I walked in there with pigtails and skulls and my frankly too tight workout pants. I was a touch self-conscious...then I thought fuck it. I know I'm not the weirdest thing these poor bastards have ever seen. I used to work retail. My look was tame as hell.

Because whimsy.

Once I was home I made myself some lunch.

Eating meals LIKE A BOSS.

Then I made some maple-vanilla pecans. I am amazing at handling nuts. Ask anyone.


This afternoon I did pretty much fuck all. I played Words With Friends and gave myself a manicure.

My winter hands are so ugly.

Tonight we are going out for dinner and then taking the smalls to a hockey game. I can't wait to listen to them whine about snacks (in spite of just eating dinner) for 2 hours.  I can't wait to spend some magnificent quality time making memories.

But since I have no idea what time we'll get home and chances are I'll want to go straight to bed, you get this fascinating missive a little early. Lucky, lucky you.

Now. To Team WOD or not to Team WOD tomorrow?  I heard a rumor there will be charades.

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