Saturday, January 16, 2016

I Don't Wanna, but I Hafta

Got up and made it to CrossFit this morning without falling on the ice. Big win there. I'm so covered with inexplicable (and explicable) bruises that I feel like one more would be a cruel joke by the universe. The big ass bruises on my shins from my box fight are evolving and now just itch like fucking mad. Not only do I bruise incredibly easily, they also heal incredibly slowly. I'm sure this is in part due to my practically translucent Northern European skin (along with a chronically low platelet count).  Fantastic husband was my partner for a bunch of sit-ups, rowing, medball passes, and burpees. Oh, and tabata push-ups and squats.

7 days out of the box means I was hurting by the end. It seems unfair. It's not like I was sedentary for fuck's sake. I did hit a freestanding handstand afterwards, though. It was fleeting, but it was legit. Baby steps.

I got up early to read my book for a bit before the kids got up, because I am bookish and dull. I made myself a cup of coffee and decided to spend my grain serving on some oats this morning. I mixed in a bunch of blueberries and the last of my raspberries, sprinkled on a little stevia, and finished with slivered almonds. It was tasty.

Look at all that fucking nutrition.

The kids dawdled until their breakfast was stone cold, but they still ate it, so who cares. In truth, my kids don't seem to care for hot food. They are forever whining about things being "too hot" when they are in fact barely more than room temp. This is why I refuse to make hot chocolate for them. Fantastic husband does, but he's a much better parent than i am.

After the workout we had a few errands to run (or I did, but I wasn't driving, so it became "we") and then headed home to wash up. Fantastic husband humored me by driving through Starbucks so I could have my second cup of coffee and my dairy serving at the same time in the form of a small flat white. Or "tall" because I like my coffee pretentious.


I neglected to bring my sunglasses along and I don't do well in bright glare-y light, so FH offered me a pair of glasses he had in his truck. Aviators. Personally, I think aviators look like total shit on everyone except...well...fucking aviators. And maybe like, cops. Otherwise? If you are wearing aviators I think you look like a tool. Or Cartman from South Park. It's just my opinion, but I'm right.

See? Way more assholey than usual.

Once we were home I ate. Of course I ate. That's like my job now. A nice red pepper and some cheeeese. I love that it's totally cool for me to eat cheese on the regular. Mmmmm...cheeeeeese.

I'm allowed a recovery/e-lyte drink daily.
I like the FitAID.

And then I ate some more, because there are only so many hours in a day and I need to spend them eating. I need to spend all of them eating. I made chicken salad with 6oz of canned chicken, tomato, chickpeas, chives, and homemade mayo. Ordinarily I'd put a cucumber in there for crunch, but I didn't have one. We have celery, but I sort of hate celery. Not only is it weird and stringy, but it tastes like shit and makes my tongue numb. Hard pass. I also had a sweet potato, because I needed to eat one at some point today and this seemed as good a time as any.

Gods. So full. So...full.

I went and did some shit with the girl child and made a quick stop at the grocery store for the aforementioned cucumber and a few cans of black beans and chickpeas. I'm supposed to eat legumes, which is fine. I have no philosophical issue with them especially the soaked ones. They seem to digest perfectly well for me. Lectins schmectins. If they become a problem I'll ask to cut them out. 

After my round of afternoon errands I came home and (you guessed it) ate. I ate again. OMG with the eating. Yellow pepper with roasted red pepper hummus. I haven't had hummus in ages. This was tasty, even though I really, really didn't want to eat it.


I finally got around to folding the laundry I did yesterday. In fairness, half of my clothes hang to dry, so I usually wait for them before folding everything so I can do it all at once. These days I only do laundry when my favorite workout clothes are dirty. This week my laundry was all gym clothes and scrubs. There was not a single "casual" shirt or pair of jeans. I'm not sure if that's awesome or sad.

I've got 99 pieces of laundry and they are pretty much all
workout clothes.

Dinner was a dish called antipasto salad from Paleo Indulgences. It's tasty. It also got me all the rest of my oils for today. I still needed 2 servings of veg, so I made a pile of broccoli to go with it. Admittedly an odd pairing, but I'll get better at this. As I forced down the last few spears of broccoli, fantastic husband looked at me and said "This is killing you, isn't it." Considering I wasn't hungry at the start of the meal? Yeah.

Killing. Me.

I had the option to get on the treadmill tonight, but I'm so full I can't bear the thought of it right now. Plus it's just 5 miles easy. I can do it tomorrow instead, and I prefer running early in the day to running later. Either way, the miles will get run. They're on the plan, they get done. That's how we make progress. 

Speaking of progress, I'm not making much on this. Watermelon, Greek yogurt, and chia seeds. I have to eat it, but I don't wanna. Sweet baby dolphins, I'm so full. 

At least it's pretty?

And later tonight? I'll eat these.

I don't want you.

After waddling up to bed last night, I thought for sure I would feel like shit this morning. That I would wake up with a rock in my stomach and not be able to eat a damn thing. Instead I woke up hungry. Really hungry, actually. I read somewhere that you're eating right if you go to bed with the waistband of your pants feeling a little snug and wake up to it feeling loose. Well, that was me yesterday. It's too early to tell how this will shake out, and I'm struggling with it right now, but I can't help but feel that the payoff is going to be unbelievable. 

It better be, because eating is becoming like a new hobby and I already have too many of those. 

Tomorrow will start with 5 on the treader since the arctic blast has arrived, then after eating a ridiculous amount of food I'm going to try out the Team WOD at the box. I used to do the Team WOD back in the day, but it's been a while. I need to start doing it again. 

Tomorrow night we're meeting some friends out for pizza. That's less than ideal from a dietary standpoint, but life happens and pizza happens, and it will all be fine. Fortunately, I'm so full all the damn time that I crave nothing. I doubt I'll even hear the siren song of pizza after cramming myself full of what-the-fuck-ever all day. 

And now, back to my watermelon concoction. I don't wanna. But I will. Because I am a rule follower. 

I'm a rule follower insofar as I follow them when they make sense to me. Otherwise, fuck that. 

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