Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Blogging the Menu: Day 91

I worked a turnaround today, which means a rushed morning.  I used to work these turnarounds a few times a month, but I'm a little out of practice.  I took a shitload of drugs before heading out and I was able to keep the symptoms pretty much at bay until, well, right now.  I'm starting to sundown, but I still have to wash the kids tonight.  Time to swallow another handful of Sudafed and Benadryl.

This year has been craptastic for me from an illness standpoint.  I really don't get sick very often, but between the stupid sinus infection I had for 3 weeks and two shitty colds, I'm done with this winter.  Living with 3 kids 6 and under is like living with 3 noisy Petri dishes.  If there's a virus lurking in a 50 mile radius it's going to tear through this house like wildfire.  If it would just warm up enough to open the windows I might have a chance, but based on the forecast that'll be a while.

On to the Menu!
I forgot to photograph my cafeteria breakfast.  It was eggs, bacon, and fruit.  The usual.  Today I shadowed a tech for the morning and got a refresher on the automatic dispensing cabinets and the new carousel.  Carousel sounds fun, but it's really just a big boring machine full of unit dose drugs.  Once I got the hang of it, it wasn't too bad, but I will admit to staring stupidly at the screen wondering what the fuck the damn thing wanted me to do.

Back to the cafeteria for lunch (I suck at mornings when I have to be somewhere early, and making a lunch is the furthest thing from my mind after a PM turnaround) which was a dullsville chicken salad and fruit.
So boring.  They ran out of bacon.  Whores.

I had to get a gallon of milk from the little convenience store, and while I was down there I got a couple of hard boiled eggs for an afternoon snack.  They didn't peel worth a damn and I was pretty pissed about it.  At least it proves that it's not my cooking method that sucks, but it certainly doesn't rule out shitty peeling skills.
Dirty little bitches, both of them.

I picked up the kids.  Initially I drove right past the daycare  lalalalalalalaaaaaaaa....and then as I was turning onto my street I was all "Shit!  The kids!" so I had to turn around and go back for them.  Luckily for me we live about 8 inches from the daycare so it wasn't out of the way.  On the flip side, I had literally driven right past the daycare and the sight of it failed to trigger the "Stop here and pick up your kids" reflex it should have.  I? Am a great parent.

It's leftover night since the fridge is filling up, so the kids had leftover mac and cheese and I had the meatloaf I wasn't home to eat last night.  Meatloaf and sweet potato, to be complete.
That's ghee, not butter.

I wish I could say it tasted good, but I'm so congested that my nasal passages and taste buds are completely dead.  It was filling.

I have resorted to the use of Oxymetazoline nasal spray again.  Nasal sprays make me feel like a fucking coke addict.  I hate snorting that shit up into my head, and it really works, but it hurts like a motherfucker.  So my choices are suffocate without pain or breathe with a deeply disturbing burning sensation in what amounts to the center of my head.  I know, I know.  I shouldn't say sexy shit like that on a blog.  I'll end up with a stalker who likes old women with nasal spray issues and shitty parenting skills.  It's a very specific fetish.  I bet if you Googled it you'd find "old nasal spray addicted shitty mom" porn.  Because people are sick fucks.

Off to the doctor with the boys tomorrow for a well child.  Next Tuesday I go have my eyes checked for reading glasses (I realize I get sexier by the paragraph).  

Now I want to Google random phrases to see if I can find weird porn.  Instead I'm going to clean the spawn.  Because I am a great parent. And because I fairly certain the pediatrician would appreciate slightly less stinky little boys.

I can go to sleep in an hour.  


  1. It's taking ever ounce of restraint not to google that phrase....

  2. Ouch, that nasal spray sounds like it hurts! I had to do one of those once (to get more calcium in my system) and it was so weird.

    I am going to be laughing all day about you passing the daycare!