Monday, February 3, 2014

Blogging the Menu: Day 40

My husband's work days never go quite right for me.  I woke up and got in the shower at the appropriate time, but small hands found their way under the bathroom door as I was stepping out of the shower signaling the spawn were awake.  This generally means that I'm dripping wet, wrapped in a towel trying to help someone or other with his or her underpants while simultaneously trying to dry off without inadvertently flashing the children.  Now, you might have a naked household and be all "So what if the kids see you naked!  It's natural!"  Not me.  Cover that shit up, please.  Mommy needs her privacy.  So I get them started and head back to my room for the morning greasing that is trying to keep my skin from peeling off (after carefully locking the door).  Winter is terrible for me and my skin.  I eat a shitload of fat (as you've seen), so it's not that the building blocks for well moisturized skin aren't there, but I have the driest, itchiest, scaliest skin from October until about April.  It takes me fully 10 minutes to lube up and dry off.  This is 3 times as long as it takes me to do my "make-up" which usually involves mascara and chapstick, and twice as long as it takes to do my hair.  There is always a small child banging on the door or screaming as I'm trying to accomplish this.  So I get that done and hustle into my clothes and let the little monsters into my room so they can jump up and down on the bathroom scale, ask me what every single thing on the bathroom counter is for, and bounce on my bed.  Ahhhhh....motherhood.

Then we head downstairs where I generally do a good job of having breakfast on the table by 6:50am.  This gives them 30 minutes to eat before we get geared up to head out to school/daycare.  Except we hardly ever make it out the door by 7:30am, and we always end up leaving something behind.  I am the most scatterbrained person alive.  For instance, I forgot my daughter had Girl Scouts after school today.  Because I am an idiot who can't remember what day it is.  Good moms know this shit.  Not me, I can't remember a damn thing.  I blame pregnancy.  A woman's brain can shrink up to 8% during a pregnancy as the parasitic fetus drains your gray matter of the DHA it needs to grow it's own brain.  Generally it returns to near normal during the year after pregnancy.  I had three kids, therefore my brain is 24% smaller than it was when I was single and childless.  I get a pass.  Mommy brain is a real thing.

On to the menu!
I was too fucking lazy to get up a real breakfast, so I mashed together a waffle sandwich and black coffee.  It's really a good thing these are super filling and when stuffed with raisins pack a nutritional/caloric punch that carries me all the way to lunch.
I over toasted the waffles.  Oops.

I got a lunch together for the girl child, but I didn't have time to get my own together, even though there were plenty of leftovers in the fridge.  We went out for lunch.  I had pork fajitas with no tortillas.  They were really great, and I would totally order them again.

Fajita Republic has half a red X for shitty service.  

After work I came home and spent about 45 minutes trying to excavate our mailbox so they'll deliver our mail again.  We've had a lot of snow recently and some of that shit was seriously iced over.  I'm sure I looked like an absolute loon with my radio inside the mailbox blasting Everlast and hacking the ground with an ice axe.  I did a serviceable job...husband will clean up the approach tomorrow with the Ariens.  I got some good upper body work and some squatting in, which is never a bad thing. 

Dinner tonight was just leftovers.  I had a pork chop and some cauliflower rice.  Every time I eat a meal like this I think "I should really have made myself some veg."  Then I remember the fucking rice is cauliflower, and feel dumb.

Fiesta pork chop, indeed.

The kids were eating cookies after supper, and they looked good for some reason, so I snarfed down some dates to head the sweet craving off at the pass.  I wish dates were prettier.  People think I'm crazy when I say I eat them, I think in part because they are so ugly.  Dates are like me:  Ugly on first meeting, but once you get to know me I'm kinda cute.  Or not.  Fuck you.

Poor ugly babies.

I've also really been digging this Tazo tea lately.  It smells and tastes sweet, even though there is no sugar or sweetener in it.  It's really delicious and since it's caffeine free makes a lovely evening indulgence.

Not quite cookies.

I'm looking forward to hitting the sack early tonight.  I wonder what time the twin snugglers will crawl in with me?  Dare I hope for a night without toddler drool and kicking?  

Happy Monday!

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